Unwrapped

First and foremost, I wanna send a warning to tears! If at all you are reading, please be selective of situations to flow out from my eyes. I'm sick of dealing with mascara mess and wet cheeks. Plus waterproof make-ups don't sell cheap ok? Considering all that, and also this being a closure post of 2013, I would like you to by all means stay away!

Now back to my hopefully-existing-readers.

I finally got my exam results of the 6th semester. Happy and satisfied! But that's just about exams . On a bigger picture, 2013 was a tough tough year in which I put up a tough tough front. Well I have become pretty good at masking emotions over the years. Practice makes perfect they say. Though there were hundreds of hurdles and heart wrenching moments, everything somehow fell into place at the end.  No problem is eternal. And having said that, I definitely have to thank the man above us for all his blessings.

Leaving pain and hurt aside, let's talk about the happy things of 2013. I found a handful of amazing people to call friends. People come and go, that's one bunch. But there are those who come with lots of care and love and stays with all their heart. The rare bunch. I'm glad a few crossed my path. I hope they will be a part of my life forever . Believe me, forever is a strong word. I won't use it if I don't mean it.

Apart from all mentioned, 2013 changed me into someone who's proud to be who I am. Some people are born to love themselves, some takes time to appreciate who they are while the rest are all wannabes of different kinds. I was once a member of the wannabe team, not anymore though. I think I'm special. Ok that might have sounded too much like a self-obssessed maniac, but hey,  everyone is special. Hence, me insisting my share is purely benign. I'm happy to wake up in the morning being myself and satisfied going to bed as Renuka and nobody else. Sometimes, being a typical human that I am, negative thoughts do mess with my head of who I could have been and why I'm not Mary or Jane. But such thoughts do not last and 'that' characters do not exist :D

In my perspective, I strongly feel the most important thing in life is keeping one's emotions intact. I'm progressing well in mastering it, thus, I was very much enduring and strong this year. Glad no extremely wrong decisions were made , convinced life comes with numerous lessons, and proud another river had been crossed.

All in all, 2013 basically wrapped up fine. Or shall I say wrapping up fine?

2014 will be a whole new chapter itself. Can't wait to be curiously turning the pages.

Renuka G

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The thin line

I love burning bridges in the heat of the moment, and that's an ugly truth of mine. Well there's enough space to criticize my morals based on what has been stated but I waive that chance to those nitpickers out there.

Whether it's a weakness of mine or my character, I'm usually inclined to react to situations especially dramas in a very hasty manner . Just as much as I love to end them, I love to end them fast. Hence,  all points justified. 

What happens when someone lights a fire beneath your feet? You jump and you run . In this case we shall put it as, we quarrel and we part, or yes, we burn the bridges . It's just too typical even to deny it. 

Guilty as charged.

The funny scenario though is, at some point I find this bizarre desire to build those bridges again. Like apologizing for something I'm not solely to be blamed for ? Oh yea exactly that! It is certainly not the same with all cases, yet some drains my sympathy . Deep inside I wish I was not a typical human . (The next line might make me sound like a person with split personality disorder , so embrace yourself . )

I hate to burn bridges.

Renuka G or the other :p

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Lemons that made lemonade

Choices in life finally, always, comes down to two. Wants and needs. I believe everyone is much excited about wants rather than needs though the truth is usually, wants being the exaggeration or extension of our needs which may or may not be truly fundamental. Don't think there is necessity to further explain the mentioned because who wouldn't like getting things their way right?

For a fairly long time, I have been that person. I was obsessed about my wants. I want this, I wanted that, I wanted everything my way till the moment I was humbled by my own thoughts. Instead of looking at personal pleasures and interests, I begin to look at satisfaction. Satisfaction of fulfilling certain responsibilities that I deem everyone should bow to. Well, I'm not going to disclose that responsibility of mine but I believe everyone has at least one . The difference being, whether we ignore them because we are drowned by our wants or we embrace them because of our needs. I choose the latter.

Let me give a simple example. Water. We need water as that is human necessity. And we want chocolates. First we have to ensure we have enough supply of water, then we can go look for all the chocolates in the world. Just like that. Responsibilities are the musts, while desires are the supplementaries. At least that's how I believe it to be. And that's how it will be if you are not selfish.

Bottom line, life hit me with two choices, and I picked to render to my needs.  It might not end up a perfect journey, but it's the absolute right thing to do.

Renuka G

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Take a breather

There comes a point in our lives that we close one eye to some things around us. We stop caring who's watching, we stop observing who is doing what, we stop thinking of the what ifs and what nots. We just live life. We throw our hands in the air and surrender.

Not because we are weak. Not because we are afraid. For the reason we choose to take a breather and care less than we used to.

Life begins the moment one realizes both his ability and limitations he has upon his being. He knows where to shine and where to shrug. In actuality, very few things needs our utmost attention. We humans however, have this inborn attitude of dipping a little bit everywhere and anywhere which at the end of the day gets us nowhere.

Sometimes, all we have to do is sit back, and breathe. Too many voices are 'talking'! Too much noise all around! But nothing is 'saying' a thing.

Renuka G

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Burning Bridges

Whatever that leaves you is for the good, that's my dad's way of confronting life. He always advises me to not bother if anything goes off my grip because it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I look at past relationships, an old friend perhaps, thinking maybe things would have been different if I did it another way. Delusional tale. It's like meddling with a broken wheel. Only because it rolls when I spin it, doesn't mean it's gonna roll by itself in the long run. It will stop somewhere along the way, maybe so worse that it can't be fixed anymore. Just like that, when something or someone begin to show you the signs, keep the door wide open. Have faith because the same door will bring in the better sometime later

Many people waste too much time brooding over whether to burn or not burn the bridge. They carry with them too much doubts and what ifs that are not necessarily worth it. They cling too hard and handcuff themselves to the root of their issues hence refusing to let go the all-set-to-go baggage. Yes baggage. This baggage will soon turn into their biggest burden. Dragging a baggage might seem like strong act done with pride but remember, the farther you drag, the horrendous it gets.

Whatever that leaves you is for the good. Feel free to wave goodbye. Lets not be overly imaginative thinking it could work or it would have worked. Those who wants to stay will stay no matter what and those who wants to leave won't stop even if you put up an electric fence against it.

It's a beautiful life, spend it with those who wants to stay. And there's always a corner for baggages, always JUST a corner.

Till next time,

Renuka G

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That Pretty Dress

When a dress is new, we hunt down events to wear them. To flaunt it's freshness, to let the world see the beautiful design of it, with a smile rather as perfect as the dress itself. We make home out of a mirror, turning to the right, to the left,  moving like a ballerina on top of a music box. What an amazing sight. 

Time will pass. And the same dress you once donned at every significant event of your life, will soon wear off. The stitches might become loose. Faded. A little torn at the side. Now the perfect beautiful dress is left somewhere among the rest of the daily wear and tear section. Sometimes when you open and slide close the wardrobe it peeks out at you in desperation, hoping someday you will pick it once again. Positivity is such a pain but just like love, hopes can be blind to. 

Do you think something that is used all out will ever be someone's pick rather than a mere option? 

The answer is no. People do not cling to things that don't make them look good anymore. They are always in a mad-search for something fresh, something they do not have. But little do they know, that too will wear off. The world is designed in a way that what enters ,shall exit. Some things wear off, some disappear, some forgotten while the rest is thrown. Permanent might be the memories and impact, yet presence is never the case. 

You can try running as far as you can I bet, our fate though is similar to the dress mentioned. We come all fresh and new, we shine, we impress, and the mighty sword of time takes its course. One day we are all just memories. Naah this doesn't only apply to death, it applies to everything. Relationships, success, etc etc.

Life is tough, get a helmet.

Renuka G

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Spreading joy

You can sit where you are and spend a lifetime chasing after things you think will make you cheese, or you may opt  to open your eyes to the beautiful world around you. 

It doesn't matter if it's a lemon or a lemonade that life throws at you, find joy in simplicity. Don’t let negative situations or people become you. There's no excuse to change the good in you. Hold firm to your ground !

People leave a profound impact on us, our thinking and our behaviour, therefore, choose those who want in your circle cautiously. Most importantly, don't give mind to those who don't matter. Take and give more chances to speak good, mean good and do good to the world instead of peeping through someone's skirt and fanning it.

Next, stop worrying about living the best. If you think today wasn't as good as you wished, you will always appreciate the tomorrows . Live more with days rather than living the best everyday, for that's when you know the benign effect of a mistake. Life is about trial and errors, experiment all along. 

One more thing, attitudes are contagious; spread joy and strive to inspire! The world needs a heads up before the negative vibes drown us all.

Renuka G

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ABC goes on

There are times in my life, so rare that it goes unnoticed , I get too eager to read every single thing crossing my vision. Today is one of the mentioned. As much as I want to call myself a slave to boredom, I rather say I'm craving to expand my knowledge. God I'm done being dumb. For about 2 months I was so busy being busy that it intruded so badly with my reading routine. Now it's time to dust my ABC.

Reading makes me feel smart. It's not like I share books with Dr.Sheldon Cooper or read Stephen Hawking like a love note. I read junk. Even the ones with the worst syntax and penmanship, I hunt down like a werewolf. Reading is the sole agenda, therefore, nothing else matters. Sometimes I even  settle for children stories and twitter updates, no surprise. Just being able to cuddle with words and kiss a few thoughts allow me feel so privileged.

Reading kills time. Believe it or not, it does. At times it's because I get too engrossed, the other times are due to the involuntary naps. Not that I could help it. Bored? Grab a book.

Putting trust into a read and giving it your full dedication is the most humble favour you can do for self-growth. It's not about the number of pages you flip or the number of dictionary visits you make. Reading is about the times you pause to think, the way it stimulates your close-to-dead ,machine-like-mind and how it feeds the soul. Of course the times you fell asleep are exceptions to the rule. Thus, speaking a whole new chapter called "Rest' for the soul, which we shall not touch further.

Renuka G

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Bye Bye 2

Someone wise or not wise I'm not sure, told me I have a career which will give me satisfaction every single day. And I still am searching for the truth behind his statement because I do feel satisfied everyday,but on the number of hours I get to sleep. I sleep in the staff room in the morning between classes, I sleep after school, I sleep at night. Apart from all the hitting the sack agendas, it's more like stress rather than satisfaction. Especially teaching grammar to year 3 kids who thinks grammar is their granma. Like seriously kids?

creative teachers :)

Having expressed all that should be, I think I'm glad tomorrow is the last day at the school I'm currently doing my 2nd practicals at. Phew! What a journey it was. Too much planning, too much stress, too much food, too many jamuans. God I'm a doraemon now! Yup, even a while ago I was gobbling a bowl of maggie while reading shape.com. What kind of irony is that right? I so need to get back on the track.

Today me and 3 other friends completed the Self Access Learning Corner at school. Finally! We are VERY happy with the results. Hope the kids and the school will benefit from the space prepared. That's the closing ceremony for workload I guess. Tomorrow I'm just gonna do a little pot luck with the kids and call it a day.

You know it's my hand work when there's too many colours :p

Can't wait to go back to hostel as a student. And go home soon. It has been a long time since I last went home. So that's pretty much it. I'm proud of what I've become and I'm looking forward to more challenges .

Good luck to me.

Renuka G

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Cheerrrrrrrr

I have heard many stories and some I have seen taking place right in front of my 4 eyes, considering that I'm wearing a pair of spectacles. However, the stories capable of moving me most profoundly are about people having tons of weight on the shoulder yet sprinkling the rainbow dust to those around them.

Cheerfulness is indeed a value to be learnt and appreciated by everyone. It has the ultimate power to eliminate many negative thoughts and pain within us. It's like a free anti-depressant. People who choose to show happiness and rather spread smile than hurt are the great achievers of all. I have met some along the way , they are indeed a rare breed.

I once read in a book that being cheerful indicates your intelligence of being aware if you live in the state of pleasure, you can have the impact to meet virtually any challenge that comes your way. What makes things hard at the first place is one's attitude of feeding the monstrous emotions like pain, hurt etc. Kill them while they are still little. As mean as it might sound, it makes a lot of sense. Isn't that strong enough? Ok. A LOT of sense. Caps always make a difference *winks* . If you're smart,  start showing happy faces! Good kids.

So it's about time everyone instead of trying so hard to convince your inner soul to be happy, tell your face to do so. Everything else will follow. If it doesn't, keep trying. You have got nothing to lose, a smile is free isn't it? Thank god it is, or I don't know how I would survive all the stupid deals and bets I enjoy making .

Be cheerful, and transmit joy like a  bad virus.  Some nonsense do make sense and are indeed contagious.

Renuka G

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Rain Rain Go Away

A wise man once said, life's tough get a helmet. Even though I have no idea who is he and why he phrased it that way I agreed with him to a certain extent. Today a wise girl is going to say something, so you better be all ears. Life's tough, get an umbrella. Well, I need not further introduce the wise girl for we all know who is she *winks*. Let's just move on.

What is with rain people? What's with the rain? It has been 2 weeks since I was tormented by it. There is no need for me to make a list with nonsensical elaborations on why I dislike the rain because I'm a VERY serious person. Having lied that way, I will only use 3 words to describe the whys. Mosquitoes, flu, waffles.

Mosquitoes. Rain increases the number of thirsty mosquitoes that are picky enough to only find a person named Renuka. I have ordered scientific researches to prove this fact ( Yes it is already a fact before proven),  but results might take more time. So what this mosquitoes do is that, they suck me dry. DRY! And leave me itchy. How mean! Just to avoid unnecessary arguments and physical contact, I avoid going to bed. Plus even if I try, there will be no sleep. Only scratching. And YES I'm too poor to get a repellent, believe it.  Due to this whole mosquito scenario, I am always forced to stay up and play candy crush instead. People call me an addict, some say I have no life, some say I'm just a part of a craze, but nobody knows the sad story behind my candy-crushing agenda. Please wipe your tears, no tears tonight.

Flu. I'm not poor to get an umbrella because I do have one. Yet due to a medical condition I lost my memory on how to use an umbrella, therefore, whenever there is rain and I'm out, it's flood on myself. Sad case. Till now my flu found no cure because the rain found no stop. Life's tough, know how to use an umbrella!

Waffles. I have this weird cravings for waffles when it's raining. And there was one day when I went to satisfy my craving while it was still raining. Guess what happened? Waffles turned from biting texture to scooping smoothness. Amazing uh? NO! It sucked.

How can I not dislike rain?

Well honestly speaking I do like rain. I mean the sound of it, the cold weather in which I could cover my whole self with my blankie, sleep like nobody's business ( only at spots with no mosquitoes), etc etc. But not when I'm tormented like this.

Dear Rain, please take away the mosquitoes and my flu and bring me some fresh peanut waffles :)

Renuka G

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Blurred Whys

I'm going to be super free till next week ends, so more nonsense coming your way. As the preparation for your mind's saneness, read this.

So yeah, today I was, as mentioned, so free, I started to blindly stalk humans on interpals. Well that's entertainment you  know. Like seriously, you have to try that. Reading people's profile is sheer fun-tertainment. Even though mine is one clown-house space, I will still laugh at people's. And what happened during the time-killing event was, I found something. Or more like concluded something. Ok I'm feeling pretty intelligent right now with the use of the word 'concluded', excuse  me a moment for self-admiration...............

So what I concluded was that people around the world especially Europeans, listed numerous asian countries in their profiles as places to visit, but not my beloved nation, Malaysia. SAD case. This is REALLY SAD, because I wrote it in caps. I mean why, why people why? What's wrong with Malaysia? It's a beautiful country  with many fascinating tourist spots. Our islands are mind blowing. Is it that you people are ignorant or chose to ignore?

As a true citizen of Malaysia let me blow my country's trumpet by giving you 10 reasons why Malaysia is a MUST ( notice that caps?) visit nation.

1. Malaysians are very friendly people ( living example here!) . We smile at everyone on the streets. ( Unless it's a Monday and we're in the mood to shoot rather than smile, stay at your own risk) 

2. In Malaysia we have awesome customer service. When you are pissed we calm you down by assuring we will get back to you later, which translates I'm running away, solve your own problem! 

3. Most of our packages to islands come with fresh brochures. Fresh brochures as in, created freshly when the spot was first opened. FRESH artifact now probably, yet still FRESH.

4.  We awe tourists especially Europeans. You think you are humans, through our eyes we see aliens walking on the streets. We admire, stalk every move like a concerned parents. We CARE. 

5.Our roads are never straight. You think that's bad? NO! Roads here will teach you to focus. When you are driving on the highway, don't ever think about letting the wheel go, or keeping your hands still. Grip hard  and keep moving honey! So the good part being, when you return to your own country, you shall be a seasoned driver who could drive through all crookedness in life. ( I know you want to book your tickets already) 

6. We have food everywhere. Literally EVERYwhere. On the road, across the road, in the shop, in front of the house, you name it. But the case of recycling food materials is still going on, therefore, consumption is at your own risk. Believe, trust, that's tomorrow's hope , said a Malaysian .

7. Our journalists wrote so much about travel that the newspaper found it redundant and reduced publishing it already. Yes we lack travel columns, not because we want to write or read about politics or anything. It's merely because we have wrote too much. Please understand alright :)

8. We speak English. YES most Malaysians especially those working at tourist spots, know English. Sometimes we drag a little laaaaaa and meeehhhhhh but we speak no alien-ano . English ok?

9. Our local radio stations have awesome programmes. I assure you entertainment, but do be extra cautious with the volume hike. We are the people of love, so we speak to be 'heard'. Thanks to our RJs for alerting us before we fall asleep. 

10. This is the most important point. You don't want to miss the chance of meeting awesome people, don't you? That's why you have to visit Malaysia. People like the author for example, is rare. VERY rare (caps again!) * blushing*

HAHA it's nonsensical I know. But this post do bear a certain amount of truth, if you read between the lines. Otherwise, Malaysia is a great country. Historical places is Malacca, islands in Terengganu, and food in Penang are the icing on the cake for us. We stand equal to other Asian countries if you could see the very best of my multicultural nation. 

Renuka G 

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Silver linings, not playbook.

Every cloud has a silver lining. But not all silver linings could make the dark cloud gloom any less. With that said, there's more to failures than small victories, and there's more to life than sheer happiness. Everything is reciprocal, you do the math.

Renuka G

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Stability.

This is the voice of experience speaking, so you better listen. If you ever think of becoming a teacher, take an emotional stability test. In case you fail, start promoting yourself else where. You have been warned! Don't become another me.

by my year 3 kids ..gingerbread man

I'm capable of blanketing my emotions pretty well. Oh screw being humble! I'm darn good at that. However when your heart crumbles, it crumbles no matter what. Whether you hide it or whether you flash it on a billboard, it doesn't matter anymore. Yup I'm having this whole sinking in the ocean kind of feeling thinking of leaving the current school I'm doing my practicals at in two weeks time.

The year 2 kids under my supervision on some merdeka event

At first when it all started, I was like man, it's gonna be a hell of a pain. Since I dislike kids generally, except those who are exceptionally smart, good or of course cute, I wasn't shading under the rainbow. I had a downpour with thunder and storm instead due to excessive shouting and explaining and planning and assessing. Now though, I'm feeling, Ugh I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like a rock tied to my foot, making it heavier to drag myself out from these kids. Yes things got a little creepy when they started to hunt me on Facebook, check through my phone, smell my hair and know exactly when I wore what, but they made my days better. I mean some days better. The rest were awful as usual.

A Raya card which came out of no where :p

God I'm going to miss my Year 3 kids. And being a vain pot, I know they will miss me too considering all the chocolates and lollipops I have bribed them with *winks*

Renuka G

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So serious

Ok holla back everyone. So why am I back? And that's what you have ask? NO. I have stopped answering rude questions, therefore, I shall proceed and make your eyes sore looking at the screen.

Well, this is the part of my life called, ' I don't know'. Yes that's the name of the part , not I don't know being the answer. Kapish? ( And that's the  new spanish word i've learnt which I will use fully for showing off purposes. Oh wait,it's Italian) Back on the part, I don't know. To further explain, this is where things get real blurry like you need a new spectacles or lenses because , obviously that's what you do when things get blur. No brainer! However, things here is not like the television screen or the notice boards, it's trouble to the next level. Blurriness dictates your tomorrows, future, dreams etc etc. You feel like it's blur because it's far, but trust me buddy, it's blur because it's blur.  Cliche.  I mean the cause being something else than the usual.

This is getting real confusing I guess. I feel twisted. Like literally physically twisted ( which may also be because I'm trying a yoga pose at the moment, but let's not digress).This I don't know phase, is all about worries. Worries that the expected might turn the other way round. Possibilities locked, and dilemmas shoot up. Your eyes are fine, only the reality is hazy. You get what I mean?

Point blank, I'm stuck. I'm stuck for I can't foresee the future. I'm stuck thinking it can be corrected by changing some things. Major stuck-ing screw up this is.

But I'm still happy. You know why?

Even though this is a complete nonsensical post, you stuck around till the end. *Tears of joy* Tell me who was stuck now??
Kapish?

Boo-Yah

Renuka G

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You, I know

You know that one quality capable of juxtaposing life next to heaven? It is the ability to endure. The ability of falling on your face yet standing up with both feet firm on the ground. The ability to not let things or emotions dictate you in a way that it cripples you. That quality, it is rare!  If you think you have got it, tears and sorrow must be your long-lost friends. Smiles and laughter must be the new life companions you flaunt. There has begun the awesomeness of yourself and your life. Nah-ah this is not a state you achieve by forsaking someone else’s happiness or taking into your hand decisions to be made only by God. You, the power of evil, I command thee leave by all means. You will never understand ‘good’. I’m only speaking on behalf of good people who could box’em problems and come out strong at the end. Those who know from  which angle to face problem and from which to kick them to grave. Crying and sulking are for high-school kids. When you have passed that stage it is all about a few drops of tears and moving forward towards a solution. This type of people I respect.  Cheers to you if you’re in!

Well, I’m close I bet and I’ll join the awesome-rockers-of-life, soon. Real soon J

Renuka G

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Always a thumbs-up!

Lately I'm getting more and more reasons to start worrying. Sensing a  big voice screaming to my ears, 'Be afraid Renuka!'. As creepy as that might have sounded, it is even creepier to feel it by yourself. So the mighty question being, should we worry?

Well, of course! If a red warning sign so huge as a billboard is flashed right to your face, you got to react. But not so much. Worry leads to more worry for,  we are etched with the incredible ability of magnifying problems. Therefore, be careful how much you take in.

Rationally speaking, worrying is a pure waste of energy. We have way too many things that demands our attention every single day, and they deserve the priority seats. Worrying? It's like an absolute wet blanket, dragging away the fun and good spirit without you realizing it. Day-ruiner indeed! Keep them at bay.

Next,  stop worrying because it's going to be alright. Oh c'mon, how old are you? 20? 22? 2 decades and you haven't seen those metaphorical rainbows after the rain? It's going to be alright ok? Maintain a positive outlook. Not standing by the idea of being ignorant, what I'm trying to say is, act upon the problem without cringing. You can deal with things cool and calm, that's an option. Frowning isn't a requirement nor an obligation.

And finally, let's cross the river when we come to it. This saves hell a lot of stress!

Trust me, the first step towards happiness is knowing to take control of your emotions, be it worries, depression, confusion etc etc. Only when you've accomplished that step, life morphs into a sweet journey .

Renuka G

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Let's box it off

Today was a hell of a day I should say. It's not like I'm refusing to work hard or eyeing for an easy way out, all I wanted was a little smile amidst the trials. Perhaps I'm demanding too much I'm not sure. But it's ok. If this is what awaiting, I accept it. I'm making peace with what's has been set as the meant-to-be at the moment. We cross the river when we come to it, meanwhile, I'm gonna stay positive and stay determined of my resolutions.

All well ends well. It's going to be alright.

Looking at the bright side, every hurdle is a chance to learn, so why not take it easy? Having said that, I'm not planning to not cringe or wave the white flag, I'm fighting this battle. Haha battle sounds like a real strong word uh? Well a little exaggeration doesn't hurt.

Yea I know I'm being all vague about this one, bear with me please . It's not like I don't want to be point-blank, I prefer to be mysterious here and then :p

Renuka G

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Ready to switch?

If you can't change the circumstances, change your perspective.

Let's just face it, you are not gonna get things your way! It might sound like a slap on the face but hey, that's called reality. What's meant to happen will happen, whether it favors you or frustrates you it's the later part. Deal with it honey, we don't hold the thread to our lives, we are all apart of the show instead.

There ought to be occurrences getting on your last nerve, be prepared. Remember this word, 'switch'! It comes handy I assure you. When you feel like banging your head on the closest wall, switch! Switch your perspective.  Life may give you lemons, limes, oranges, berries, who cares, anything still brings something. It may be a lesson, experience, wake up call, etc etc, be thankful and for god sake learn!

One thing we are almost experts at is the excessive portrayal of emotions, minimize it. Emotions are concentrated, dilute it! Dilute it with inner peace. Yes, make peace with yourself that you don't have the power to travel backward, admit the defeat, and move on. Life isn't a one way road, travel, venture, there's more to see, there's more to live each day.

Mindset is one of the toughest to change. Why? Because we are corrupted. Our minds are full of negativity, excuses, jealousy, all acting together forming a barrier which repels positivity at its threshold. Admit it, most of us, we have lost our values, we are the citizens who live by filthy habits, we don't advance and we don't let others strive as well. Pathetic I know. So, change for the better, be the change.

If we were to presume looking at things the way we do now, continue to maintain the negative outlook we have towards things that happen to us, dive in, the sea of dissatisfaction is where you belong. But I tell you what, life is an interesting journey, each step, each fall, is a doorway of various surprises. Only if you know how to accept, you will learn how to endure. Then you live!

It's all about perspectives.

Renuka G

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Here it comes !

Thomas A. Edison once said discontent is the first necessity of progress, well I'm at the moment discontented. Discontented with the teacher that I am because I know the teacher I can be. You may have heard me expressing my carefree attitude about whatever that had taken place during my first practicum. But hey, I'm feeling discontented at heart. Whether I can be better let time decide. Whether I can strive to be better, that's my call for progress.

Only because I have shelved an A the previous time, doesn't mean I'm gonna get lucky this time around. Things are certainly not certain to go backwards and predict the 'forward'. Simply said, anything can happen. It makes me restless. Discontented. And i believe it is screaming in head to open doors for improvement and progress. I'm not a couch potato! Or maybe I am, couldn't help it. But  work is work. Nothing feels better than basking the fruits of one's hardwork. Therefore I shall strive for the best I can possibly be.

Ok the situation is like this, once again a school from Marang, an additional project with an ETA from the US if I'm not mistaken, observing-lecturer yet to be announced, so yeah the pressure has been elevated. Can't sit here and day dream anymore, for it is about time I buckle up getting everything that has to be done right.

The 2 months out from IPG is no license to roam free, it's a wake up call instead. While the world demands only the finest of quality, playing mediocre is not an option. It's a competitive market for the teachers as well if you were to keep up with the recent updates and education policies. I'm so screwed . HAHA.

Anyway, it's going to be a fun yet stressful experience which is going to make me roll eyes saying 'kids' every single working day at SK Paya Resak. Can't wait!!!  Ok I'm kidding. I'm hell scared :p

Renuka G

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Of new beginnings and fragrances

Here it begins the 6th semester of my degree programme. Of course I'm feeling very blessed considering the results that I've shelved the previous semester, but this is a whole new beginning. More challenges ahead of me, ups and downs, trials and tribulations, all got me excited to face it.

I really don't want an easy ride home, rather settle for the combo of both sides.  This person believes that struggles mould oneself into a better being, into a tougher self. There's no way I'm cutting corners or praying for the lady luck to book a seat next to me, I want it the way everyone else gets it. My years as a college student I want to use to equip myself with emotional endurance and positivity. The mentioned duo is what that will keep things going in the coming years of my life.

All is well!

And now let me introduce you all to my new perfume , Tresor in love by Lancome. Yes I have decided to not play safe with Gucci all the time. Lancome is a great cosmetic brand and I fell in love with Miracle once, so I'm investing on their other bestselling perfume for the next few months use. The fragrance came with a body lotion and it smells awesome as well. Bingo! Tresor In Love has a fruity flavor to it with distinct middle notes of rose and jasmine. A must try! Apart from the mentioned I also did some splurging with The Burberry collection of fragrances. The box came with 5 4.5 ml of different Burberry perfumes including their signature  Brit Sheer, Burberry Body and The Beat. Worth every penny!

Renuka G

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Happy Father's Day

My father always deserves a post !

Well what  can I say, words aren't enough to describe how much he means to me . The hands which held me close, watching every single step I take since I was little. The heart which never fail to love me and forgive me along the way. He's such an inspiration. Someone who isn't afraid of forsaking his all for his children. Someone so kind and genuine at heart. A soul which wishes me all great things in the world though deep inside I know he's crying.

I do realize we are not like we used to be, and the blame is entirely on me. But I hope someday you will know that I grew apart because I don't want to be close and hurt you again.

Though I put you through so much pain, the way my silence would have hurt you, you still got me a new phone. So unfortunate that I had to turn it down, only because I know Uma is a way better daughter and companion to you than me and she deserves it.

I'm not heartless to hurt you. I'm not taking revenge. You're my father and I love you so much. Sometimes when I see you smiling and laughing with Uma, I crave to be her. And when I see you close to tripping and limping, I die a little inside. But let's just face it, things have changed, and I'm sorry.

Hope you know I always love you all the same pa. Happy Father's Day!

Renuka G

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You know when it happens

I wonder how two worlds collide. A lighted oil lamp seem to stand tall among chandeliers. It's amazing to see the newly blossomed flower from the garden looking over the old tree.  Just like that, some things are not meant to be justified, only felt. They marvel us, they excite us, and they take us by our feet without a clue. Rare I should say these happenings. Some stop to feel, while the rest ignore. If you know it's happening to you, don't miss a second. Not all precious moments come by for a second visit.

Spreading some love ,
Renuka G

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A Matured Relationship

Don't think I'm unaware for I'm fully conscious of the speculations and stalking activities that have been going around for some time. Well to set the record straight, and let you all hear it from the horse's mouth itself, I'm still single. Perhaps a little taken by heart, but I'm not getting deep into that. And those who already formed chains and any sort of linkages of me to another man, kindly erase it please.

So moving on, since the confession just made the rumor mill turn sour, lets add a little spice . Today I wanna talk about relationship. A topic which I left long ago in this blog while I was still complimented and seeked for relationship advices occasionally by members of the society. This canvas I shall fill with my version of a matured relationship.

Well let me tell you this, your relationship if you think can't be named as matured, kindly dispose it. Or if you are in it for some hidden agendas which I presume to be very ugly like to cure loneliness, gold digging etc, I suggest therapy! You people need help. A relationship i believe should be shared by 2 matured individuals who loves each other in a sane manner, be able to lead their lives without compromising their individuality and pursuits, and last but not least acts as a support system emotionally. Basically comes down to adequate love, freedom and support.

Before you even open your mouth to object, mind you this is my opinion.

Quotes might support the notion of love having to be crazy , I don't. Crazy leads to more crazy, period. A relationship that lasts always has a good balance in terms of emotions. And that is the main reason why they could survive the distance and various circumstances life throws. Crazy only pulls her hair and she pulling his hair at the end of the day. But this too will survive, convincing own-self with the crazy love quotes , trying to hide the soured feelings. There goes another man or woman gripping so hard fearing the sea of loneliness that could drown him/her. But hey, have faith will travel.

Next speaking of freedom. Yes if you love someone you should be able to be yourself with that person. I would kiss the person who said that, in this case apparently its me ;-) I always advise my friends to try to survive a relationship or friendship for more than 6 months to validate your feelings. It's because humans can't be fake more than that period of time. They will voluntarily switch to their normal self, that's human capacity and apparently a bingo to everyone if you use it to your advantage. Watch him and watch yourself , if you can go 6 months yet get better, you've scored. However just in case things only turn haywire thereafter, thank god and move on. Come on you are probably gonna spend decades with this person, you don't want to come home feeling the need to become a girl with swag or a girl next door just to keep it going!! Freedom also means the approval of you pursuing your dreams and make your own decisions when the need arises. Couples doesn't mean farewell to individual choices. Two separate people are involved therefore one still has full rights over his or her life, unless a bigger institution like family is concerned. The last one is freedom in social media. Stalking when it comes to a matured relationship which is obviously founded by trust, is a pure no! Bookmarking his or her Facebook and twitter page to see his or her activities, that's very ugly. Sounds like my pupils love story to me. Grow up! Find a better hobby.

Support system. A life partner being a good support system especially emotionally is very crucial and do call yourself lucky if you have landed one in your life. I know some people in a relationship who just don't have heart to heart conversations at all. They call themselves emotionally-closed people but I think they are only emotionally detached in the relationship. Guys do share emotions, girls i need not say. The only difference is guy selectively tells, while we girls blurt to even a bunch of gossip mongers! So if he's not telling you, probably he's telling someone else. Hey I didn't say he is cheating, merely stating he isn't comfortable revealing some things to you, which I assume is not a good thing. I don't know about you all, but I only want a relationship in which a good support system can be formed between me and my partner. That's very important to me.

I have covered the vital elements that i believe should constitute a matured relationship. Hope my two cents helped! Remember, there's nothing called the perfect love at the end of the day , it all comes to whether we can live happily with it or better off without it.

Renuka G

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Slurp the Surp

Holla people! Hope everyone is good.

Today I wanna talk about surprises. Yes surprises. Some are capable of giving a free ride to cloud 9 while some could throw you off the cliff in mere seconds.

I love surprises, and any normal person of course, would stand by the sweet surprises, avoiding the bitter ones like a plague. But since I just can't understand normal, I love'em both.

Hey, I anticipate the unexpected you see, who cares what mood it carries!

Bitter ones test on your EQ while the happy-versions elevate you off your ground giving you the most wonderful feeling ever. I wanna score both.

I don't mind putting to test my ability to endure and stay stable still. It's challenging , yet an art to be learnt by all. Sadly not everyone is like me, right? Well, I just can't understand normal! :p

SO why am I all of a sudden speaking of surprises and not flaunting my work out-routines? In actuality,  lately I have been surprised a lot, like really a lot of times. And I'm loving it. It's more like challenge vs pleasure, which is acting  like motivation to accept the rule of life, consisting of 2 elements, the ups and the downs. When they take you in a spontaneous manner, so unprepared, and sudden, I can't help but wait for the next thrill.

You just gotta enjoy life whichever form it takes or gives. Screw normal! Life needs surprises. They make the most wonderful memories. Now, take this to the bank!

Renuka G

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My Day.

Since I'm directly involved with today, I'm not letting go of the chance to enlighten you about my experiences. Look closely at the choice of word, 'enlighten' babeh! So before I even start, allow me to wish all the exhausted-yet-surviving-teachers in Malaysia, Happy Teacher's Day. I know the pain, I feel you folks. Though I'm more like a half-baked, half-seasoned educator, I desire to take you into my little world called the ' Teaching Tragedy'. You know exactly why I called it a tragedy, just in case you deny it, add liar to your CV please.

Moving on to the tragedy, it started like 1.5 half years ago when I first stepped into a school as a pre-service teacher for my school-based experience. It was tragic thereafter, sad I know. But that part is only when I come across a task called keeping -the-'things'-glued. Give me nails, get me a hammer, also a long long rope, yet I will be waving the white flag. Surrender people! It's an impossible task, so far to keep the kids focused. Maybe someday experience might fly by with its' magic wand sprinkling some mercy, or aunt agony from up above might decide to throw down a letter that could solve it all, I don't know. For now, I'm more like a deer in the headlights who goes speechlessly impressed by how ignorant kids of these times could be. God, I was such a darling when I was about your age! I would go back and kiss myself for that.

Can't complain, being a teacher has so much more to it. I mean like good things, goodie-good things. Scold them, scold the kids, lecture them for half an hour on a word they don't understand, tell them to  behave, pinch them, leave the class when they get stubborn, everything ends the next hour. For them nothing happened the next time you meet them. Kids they are. They don't hold grudges. All they do is love you, adore you, look up to you, miss you when they don't see you. I enjoyed the pleasure, the subtle happiness while I was trying to understand them. I fell in love with my job. Even though sometimes I was seeing myself in a huge mess, these kids had me going. I was secretly smiling in my heart because I can see how hard they are trying to impress me.

A teacher knows.

Well I can get a little too sweet to the extent of you readers wanting to bite me, that's inevitable, but hey, tragedy is still a tragedy. The amount of stress I had been through in planning lessons and managing the classroom, only God knows. I'm not saying it's a hard-hardcore-job, merely standing by the positive side of this beautiful profession. Not everyone can be a teacher. Maybe Teach For Malaysia (TFM) proves otherwise, however, a teacher-student interaction and a teacher-student-cameras-a whole committee of people-withearlywarningsbytheschooladmin-interaction is a whole different scenario. I challenge you the real classroom, I bet you will fidget the night before itself.

Anyway that's not to offend anyone personally. TFM is great , only as an effort to achieve a purpose not a daily classroom routine every teacher could be in. It's totally different.

I guess that's all for now. Happy Teacher's Day! You may not have a classroom to inspire souls, but if you think you have once made a difference in someone else's life along the way, celebrate this day. As I said, not everyone is born to be teacher, only some could inspire, teach and make a difference, the rest only corrupt minds.

To wrap, with so much pride, since only 5 people wished me so far, and I'm finding the majority to whom I have showered my profound knowledge and wise ideas to , missing in the picture,  hence, I would like to take this chance to wish myself, Renuka, a Happy Teacher's day! You're the best!

Ok crowd thanks for applauding and please, tears don't look good on you! Haizz so much love, too little time.

Renuka G ( History shall remember this teacher)

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