Read between the lines

You need no search at the self-help shelves to understand life and your own self, even a simple folktale can be an ultimate eye-opener if you're just willing to read between the lines .

Learn and never ever stop

Don't count the profit by the amount of money you receive or kill to receive a certificate by the end of every undertaking. Learn sincerely, generously, you will never know when you might need what

It's simple

In a materialistic world in which everyone strives and chases after money, I'd like to work for satisfaction.

Old habits die hard

The habits that we pick up at some point of time once fossilized within us won't leave us. Just like a tattoo, we take them everywhere we go, for as long as we live.

Love Thyself

Just like a good book with a well-illustrated cover, the person you are should overpower youself more than your gorgeous hair and hour-glass curves (which is the ultimate stereotype surely), and that is the real deal!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

DOn'T KNow

i don't even know. well, that is the huge deal for me now..its like i don't even know what i am doing, what i wanna do , what i have  to do! i know i would somehow wind up in this situation, but now i am already there and i don't know what to do ...last night i was holding my phone for probably an hour thinking whether to call or not, today my friends asked me if i wanna go out, and here i am sitting and thinking for about 30 minutes! i so don't know..why am i soo fuzzy, uncertain, fickle, i don't know..

something bothering me? well, a lot of things bothering me..i just wish i were like the dandelion bonds, no history, just floating off into the world each on its own piece of fluff..doesn't it sound nice? hmm perhaps..problems are fused in our DNAs , its like DONE, we can't do anything about it..whether you transform a dandelion seed or a dandy lil lion..i know that doesn't make sense, it rhymes and thats great..whatever!

its seriously wrong and so fake if i were to  say that i am better off without problems..we need problems to mould us, make us stronger yada yada..but too many at once is getting jimmy choo's without discounts! OucHhh that is certainly a pinch..hmm like the saying goes or maybe the song goes, one step at a time, why can't it be like one problem at once or anything like that. why must everything come in a package or a buy 1 free 1 policy! that sucks~

to make everything worst, lets hear about myself.. i am not a good problem solver nor decision maker..i think this punch is hard enough to push me down..screwed! one word tells it all! 

i am just hoping things to recover by itself.. i don't feel like stirring anything now..time is a best healer, so lets give it some i mentioned in my previous post, at times things have to get worst before it gets better...

RaeN G

Saturday, June 26, 2010

losing grip...

i feel soo broken..i cant express it in a shattered glass perhaps. i tried my best to be understanding, think positive, but i seriously failed..i cant accept this whole situation..i just loved him way too i find it soo hard to live without his voice, words, everything.. i just asked for one call or at least a message , is it too much to ask for? am i at fault? you stopped communicating with me of a sudden, without saying anything..all i need is an explanation, is it wrong? i feel so pathetic of i'm the only 1 trying to keep this relationship alive, all you are doing is just killing it..

why is it always like this? when i love someone truly, something has to go wrong..and this time i really couldn't accept..i loved him way too much ..i don't know, maybe he moved on..i never been the best anyway..i dont blame him if that happens too..i feel that i don't wanna force anyone and i love him, let him be happy...thats all i want..theres a long way to go, its so unpredictable..i cant change things, all i have to do is endure it..whatever happen happens..

i'm slowly losing grip of a lot of things, family, the person i love, friends...i dunno, is it for the good? or maybe things have to get worst before it gets better..fingers-crossed..

In TEars

RaeN G

Thursday, June 24, 2010

To Kill me!!!

whoaa another 1 day left..saturday i'm going back to t'rganu, afternoon flight from lcct! haiizz when i get there i'm so gonna anticipate the next holiday, counting days..normal! actually i haven't pack any of my things yet..this evening i gotta hit kluang mall for the last shopping..then thats the end!

hmm the final semester for english studies i will be doing this stupid novel, to kill a mocking bird! my dad got me the text and the movie as well.. he advised me to watch the movie and follow each line because the english used is good..owwhh well, what am i gonna do learning classic english, unless i'm gonna write any kingship stories like macbeth, julius caesar etc etc...its basically a boring starts off with a boy breaking his leg and recovering  then he could play football yada yada...who cares!!!! boring ! thats all i can say..

if i'm given a choice i would rather watch 10 movies back to back on HBO!! well, thats what im doing for this whole week..but of course not back to back..hehe that would be exaggeration..

"PlaY StOP"

!!RaeN G!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

HoLidaYs Like WAAATTT.....

Holidays?? yup semester break is reaching its end! excited? well, not really, but to an extent YEAH!!.. back in the campus with friends, lectures, sports...half boring, partially interesting..hmm lets just wait and see whats in store for the final semester of the foundation programme.. got a big final exam waiting..huhu...owhhh ZIP !! no talks about it for now.. still in the holiday mode! *winks*

this holidays ? tiring!! exhausting!! yada yada..there is not much of good things to be mentioned.. this is the only week i'm fully in kluang.. first week i was busy with vacations here and there.. i went to port dickson, jb town, shopping shopping!! what else can cheer me up in this frustrating chapter? ..second week, i gotta replace my auntie in kl, managing her gym and aerobic class ..Whoaaa i totally screwed myself..i learnt all the aerobic steps in 1 day and i forgot the whole thing on the real aerobic time! i put up my own stupid steps and pulled through..thanks to my cousin, he helped a lot as he is working in the gym.... in fact, i can say its his auntie's son...huhu.. i was in kl for 5 days but i didn't go anywhere! that totally sucks!! i was busy rushing to the gym then to the hospital, to help to take care of my auntie..she got her legs and ribs fractured ..accident you shes ok, feeling better... that weekend i went to horizon hills as my other cousin bought a new house prayers.. we stayed one night there...celebrated father's day with a nice dinner n bbQ...i got my dad a shirt...not really a surprise because thats what i will be getting my dad every year..hehe

not so fun, not so happy..holidays full of tears..basically i was crying every day..till i decided just yesterday that i should stop this whole crying scene and be a lil bit stronger... yup i am trying, i havent cry till this moment..lets see whats in store.....bring in on!!! hahaxx

(( WiPe Off ))

!!RaeN G!!

NevEr EnDIng FaiRy Tale

lets talk about love..i never thought that i would actually meet someone perfect for me. at the same time, little did i know that things would turn this bad. unpredictable life you see. once you find yourself on top of the world, next moment you find yourself picking up the pieces.. yeah it to the max..

back to my story, love..i met my true love, once in a lifetime, online..we were not friends for long, we didn't meet before getting into a relationship, yada yada..just after a few weeks knowing each other, smsing, well, we didn't even talk on phone, we got into a relationship..he didn't think much before proposing, and i didn't hesitate much to agree as well.. why? well, all questions in life doesn't come with answers..but i liked him..there was/is something special about this one guy..very special..then we talked on the phone, we met, we got closer and closer..i was happy, he was too..fighting was a very common thing, but those fights just made the relationship better..if you ask me i would say, he is my fairy tale prince and this is my fairy tale love..

we were soo happy loving each and every moment we spend, like what could go wrong?? well, EVERYTHING! things happen..i call it worst! it was soo hard ..why? this one i can answer...why? because we came to a stage where we have to stop communicating..WOW! thats hard..i bet it is..when you used to hear  from someone everyday, then you now cant even ...haizz its totally blood sucking experience..

what i did? hmm i am a negative thinker..most of my friends know that well..being such, all the nightmare kind of thoughts crossed my he is gonna leave me, he will surely forget me, he is very happy with the situation etc i feel i was being selfish..very very of that kind..recalling back things he said, he did, i realize that not him but i'm the one being unfair.. maybe things are not as worse as it seems to be..everything happens for a reason..there might be something good about this break we are having in our relationship..i cant be putting blames on him for making such decision. i don't know at all what he is going through..unfair!

actually, i started post all the stupid emo status messages..i am feeling so bad over that..i shouldn't make it hard for him..i am just hurting him by all these things.. i love him, love is not about hurting.. its about understanding, trusting, caring...i'm wrong.. so totally wrong..frankly admitting, i got problem in understanding.. since the beginning itself..but i promised him , i promised myself that i would change becoming an understanding person..sometimes i just forget this whole thing and act hastily..soo me!!

i am totally in love with him, and i don't wanna lose him nor hurt him..i decided to be more understanding..we are not really communicating, so our love gotta be strong..more love not more grief or what so-ever..i want him to be happy, whether its with or without me. i just cant hate him for any reason. he was always good to me, even when we are fighting..he is surely the type girls would go head over heels my point of view, well who cares about others  *winks*

no matter what happens my love for him will always be to infinity..for a relationship it needs people, for love 1 heart is just heart is definitely my sweet gift to you..forever and always !

P.S i will always keep my promises alive , you can take my you sweetheart..

-HeArT LockED-

!!RaeN G!!