i don't even know. well, that is the huge deal for me now..its like i don't even know what i am doing, what i wanna do , what i have to do! i know i would somehow wind up in this situation, but now i am already there and i don't know what to do ...last night i was holding my phone for probably an hour thinking whether to call or not, today my friends asked me if i wanna go out, and here i am sitting and thinking for about 30 minutes! i so don't know..why am i soo fuzzy, uncertain, fickle, i don't know..
something bothering me? well, a lot of things bothering me..i just wish i were like the dandelion seeds..no bonds, no history, just floating off into the world each on its own piece of fluff..doesn't it sound nice? hmm perhaps..problems are fused in our DNAs , its like DONE, we can't do anything about it..whether you transform a dandelion seed or a dandy lil lion..i know that doesn't make sense, it rhymes and thats great..whatever!
its seriously wrong and so fake if i were to say that i am better off without problems..we need problems to mould us, make us stronger yada yada..but too many at once is FATAL..like getting jimmy choo's without discounts! OucHhh that is certainly a pinch..hmm like the saying goes or maybe the song goes, one step at a time, why can't it be like one problem at once or anything like that. why must everything come in a package or a buy 1 free 1 policy! that sucks~
to make everything worst, lets hear about myself.. i am not a good problem solver nor decision maker..i think this punch is hard enough to push me down..screwed! one word tells it all!
i am just hoping things to recover by itself.. i don't feel like stirring anything now..time is a best healer, so lets give it some time..as i mentioned in my previous post, at times things have to get worst before it gets better...
RaeN G
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