Sometimes as I flip through the pages of memoirs and autobiographies, I find my life projected in those prints. The first half usually has this weird way of reminding me of the truckloads of crap which was/is dumped into my life by the dude up there. However, being blindly positive, I get a little too excited thinking I'm like them, the only difference being, those people somehow overcame the obstacles by the second half, became a 'somebody' and made a lot of money, while me still being a failure. That fascinates me in fact !
My dad often think I have this inborn talent in coming up with excuses, especially to convince others I'm an underdog, who blankets even the utmost success calling it a complete wreck. But the only thing people and of course my dad don't understand is, great excuses aren't made, they just happen. Hence, you can thereby conclude I have some real reasons to call myself that, not simply forming new notions to make fool of myself nor deceive others.
I think up to this point, I had been very honest to myself that sometimes it even turns out to be completely destructive to my self-esteem, but no biggie, since I know my abilities. They are indeed secretly sandwiched in between my laziness and hesitance waiting to be unleashed
The cause though is soo-very simple . It's none other than my ultimate cool-to-the-core attitude when it comes to a few sleep-inducing chapters of my life. I just don't try you see. Yes, sometimes it does creep the hell out of me, to the extent of the calm me morphing into an incredible Hulk yet nothing much can be done since the 'great excuses' do hold some terrifying truth you see!
Frankly speaking, I can do better, no doubts in that and you too better not have any doubts regarding the fact! The problem is, I'm taking things at their face value. And even worse how can I appreciate something which is only capable of putting me to sleep every single time I try to be nice to it? Perhaps it's just a kind of reflex yet to be added to the science bibles.
Well I bet that's a discovery!
Having revealed some brutal facts about me and my excuses, I still want to let people who have at least tried to motivate me with their great speeches know that, I appreciate what's mentioned a lot! You know when you listen to someone who has more faith in you than your own self, you feel like standing up and say, YES I'm everything that you just said. If you are lucky enough, you might also be entitled to grow a feet taller without any leg extensions or a grand pair of Louboutins!
Bingo!
However, as laziness struts it's way in, and motivation turns towards the door, only the speech stays as a fond memory =p
The not-serious-me,
Renuka G
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