When the rainbow fades

My dad once wrote to me 'please, the rainbow u are chasing will be gone when u reach there don't be a fool  for the second time'. I wonder how he knew it so well.

This is my story:
I loved the wrong person who spoke right things.
Such a fool I was, licking honey off a thorn, waiting behind a shut door! And what hurts the most at the end of the day is, I ran away from those who always made me happy, to stay with someone who made me cry.

Tragic nah?

Life opens up many roads, and there will be one for me as well. One to help me see the happy clouds and live and just feel so alive again.

I'm willing to wait, for as long as it takes, and I'm all ready to do everything to genuinely cherish life. It's my journey afterall, only I can fulfill it right?

I'm an emotional girl, I care too much, I give my all to put a smile on one's face,  sometimes even when people show me the door I still struggle to see it for I believe I've had the best intentions and it will come back to me. I'm sorry for being myself. A believer. And I heard I gave you such a hard time, I'm sorry for I've wasted your days.

To pick up the pieces and rebuild life isn't at all easy. I did it once and it took me nearly a year, this time who knows how long..But I promise I'll try.

Renuka G

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When it ends?

What now? What else?? =)))

That's the thing about 'end', there will always be a beginning that follows. 

RECAP! 

Good start, little chaos, great end!

I'm all strong and ready for the coming semester. But now, let me indulge!

Still remember the lines from the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic.

"You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better. A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags, Oh yes! Oh yes!"

I need not google that for I've watched the movie 20 times plus *winks*

I'm dying to go shopping. Topshop, Dorothy Perkins, Zara, Elle and of course I will never miss MANGO (their bags got me swooning) !!!!! It's going to be great. 2nd thought, SPLENDID ! 

Investments MUST be made right?

Flying off with girly dreams,

Renuka G

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They again

I am drowning in dissatisfaction! How could you do that to me? And not anybody else?

1st famous question, are you kidding me?

I'm staying in this place which is in the size of a washing machine box, losing pounds everyday just to fit comfortably in this cubicle while some of your kind are roaming so freely as if this is a freaking paradise they inherited from their feline ancestors? Waaaaat???

FYI I'm paying a HUGE sum of money to stay in this box with just a bed and a cupboard and a studying table, do you even care? How could you walk in vain in front of me while I cringe looking at your multiplication every single day? Is this what you call justice?

You might say you've got no income. Well what do you think I earn? That allowance isn't even enough to photocopy notes and pay my shopping bills. But still I paid, that is what we call responsibility-the-utmost-priority .
Now mirror yourself! How do you even sleep at night? Everything is free, people even feed you dearies. Prickly though, the mess you've made shows no justice to my kind, especially myself.

Look into my sparkly shoe, is there where you place your 4 legged baby? Or is this an abandoned baby issue we are facing here? Answer me !

but what you did to a pair of mine????

After all the space an food I've shared and all the fear I've beaten down, you did this to me dear cats! Totally unforgiven!

So please don't wait in front of my door with your kittens for I take no apology and don't make home in my shoes for I loathe guests like thee .

Goodbye forever! Hopefully it's mutual.

Renuka G

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Of locks and fences

Studying in a Teachers' Training College have taught me a lot of things, mostly BAD. (Ok my dad should seriously read this...NOT! )

On my 1st year of foundation itself, I proudly received a memo from the Director for not attending a lame-sleep-inducing-talk. The next year, my RM10 was snatched away together with my ID card because I didn't attend the assembly. Well, to be honest even throughout the semester I never showed my faced during the assembly yet managed to escape pompously. That 'fine' day! I still remember how they trapped each and every one of us by standing right in front of the PKPG building. Strategic nah? You have to somehow pass that place to go to your class. Smart! RM10 gone, ID card taken away, and a glorious 0 on my attendance!

Just a month ago, another awful event took place saving my already-spoilt-name a discipline record. Why? For burning the carpet? Yes , I mentioned C.A.R.P.E.T. Even the disciplinary board was shaken by our action. How cruel can one be to burn a carpet with an iron! Geez. Guilty!

Today was another entry. An unofficial crime yet swept under the carpet because it's Friday. Come to Terengganu and I'll show you what Friday means. To not keep you guessing any longer, let me reveal the latest crime I committed with my fellow friends who were innocently walking in search of food.
What does one do when his/her college becomes a prison and surrounded by gates and locks everywhere? Hmm perhaps if it's a real one, we might have opted for black magic but since it's not, we had to roll up our sleeves and jump over the fence. Not kidding, we actually did that! No prove left behind though =) Wait, there's one, the pak guard who eye-witnessed the scene. Assassin him??!!!  


I really hope tomorrow this prison-break thingy won't repeat! It was not easy okay. And ya, I bet you guys don't want to have new-new budaya IPG since there's already a long list of DOs and Don'ts being made into a reference book!

Seriously OPEN THOSE GATES FOR GOD-SAKE!!!!!

Renuka G

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No more!

I'm FREAKING sick of my emo self! It's so pathetic to read all those messages and things I've said.

WTFish?

When I do something wrong, I say sorry, well that's acceptable. But why on earth I apologize for something which is not at all my fault! Then I pity people like they are some earthquake victim. Even worse, I drown myself in self-pity.

Can my emotions get any more unstable?

Enough is enough Renuka.

This gotta stop, by hook or by crook. Once again, I feel DAMN-FREAKING-PATHETIC! Suddenly, got a vision like a the new cat family downstairs is spitting on my face. I'm done being emo!

I'm not going to cry, or arrange words like Shakespeare's minion or apologize like even the change in temperature is my god-damn fault!

WHATEVER! I'm giving up being emo. For the good of EVERYONE around me. So the next time you mess with my feelings, you know exactly what NOT to expect.

Renuka G

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Exam shivers

This morning...2nd thought, it was afternoon already; I was driven by my ambitious self to target that I could finish up Classroom Management and start with Listening and Speaking skills by night, but guess what? You probably have guessed it right, so why bother restating right?

That's what happened!

Its ok. Let's just hope the one day gap I have after the first paper will somehow smack me awake and allow me to accomplish the MUST.

I'm not someone who gives much importance to exams. I don't have the urge to top anyone nor voluntarily fail. Exams are where I play mediocre and the hall is where I yawn and enjoy the scenery. Sit beside me, you'd be able to see EVERYTHING! Haha Some people study day and night with nothing but more dosage of caffeine. They even forget their names at times I tell you (memory full you see )! But that's the 'they' bunch. NOT ME.

All I know is I've done my level best in my assignments and there's nothing I wish I had done better, including the microteaching and that is my plan to gain a seat the next semester! Or perhaps the 'repeat exam'! Who cares though, my journey in IPG goes on somehow (contract signed =p)...

That's the thing pretty much. You need not share anybody's plan of life or match theirs with your values. We have our own stand. I dislike exams but I love hands on tasks so I pick to score that way and whatever the result is i'm happy. Just like the mentioned, in many more things in life we will find ourselves not being in the same page with others and that is abso-freakin-lutely ok. You have it your way, I have it my way (well, i kinda stole it from Burger King, excuse that OK?)

Be happy with your decisions and plans, because even having one proves your passion towards the future. See you after the exams!

Good Luck !

Renuka G

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Not Me anymore

OK it's the end already! I'm no more the K.U/ ketua unit/ class rep/ head of unit/'sleeping'-head. Well for the past 4 months I've certainly learned a lot of things inclusive of those I'm good at and some which needs so much more effort to correct. It is also proven that 'Leadership' is not my piece of cake (told ya).

the only stressed person

No more hoofing to the Audio-Visual room to get the LCD everyday, no more obligations to show my face at the assembly (renuka, ready to put your matrix card and RM 10 at stake??), no more horrifying texts from the lecturers and sudden phone calls demanding for a class or a change in time, and a few more totally-energy-consuming-responsibilities. 

Honestly speaking,I will miss some things as well, like texting all 19 when a class had been canceled (the wonderful replies  *melting*) and getting the out-of-anger-labels for not attending the IMPORTANT meetings and seminars and 'taklimats'. I know I know =p

It's OK though, I totally understand the 'anger' peeps. Sorry for the hard times =(

this is what we call as 'moronism' (if such  word exists..)

Oh well guess what? Next semester onwards, I can start embracing my lovely court shoes and sky high stilettos again! No-No and goodbyes to'em Ballerinas! Perhaps I shall donate'em all to the 'black swans' out there. hehe

Uh-oh here comes the EMO part;

For those who were always with me, accompanying me to the assembly, HEP and Koperasi ,to cool myself down with an ice-cream, thousands of kisses and hugs! And for some who stay patient with my tantrums and had their ears pierced with words like 'moron' and 'idiot' (you guys know who you are), sorry huns, couldn't help it !

Whatever it is, no matter how many KUs rule and resign, we will always have each other, or at least a room in TeLlTrac to share our glory and.....accumulate the discipline records! 

Love,

Renuka G

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Mirror

Best song ever!!!

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