5 of 1= OVER

Genre:  Emo-stuff, cheesy, bolly-masala inclusive of tragic endings, FAKE-carrie bradshaw-in-the-making

( tips on survival skills are F.O.C.)

Wow I semester ended just like that. survived in a jungle, stayed in a village atmosphere, experienced being a teacher, coped up with linguistics and those dreadful theories in child development. Unbelievable. Things seemed so hard , like every day had extra hours and now ? weird right? We went through every second thinking there is a long way, long time but it flies off like nobody’s business.

Reflection time! 5 months? Tough time. full of pain, mostly self-inflicted. Another date with the past. And I blew it all into proportions one more time. They say the first cut is the deepest. I beg to differ. Second cut? Trust me I’m out of words. But there was nobody to nurse my wounds. Even I couldn’t be bothered. I was in my own world busy pricking those pain again and again. God kept dropping those  hints that I again took for granted. He sent them through people, the person concerned and lot more ways I should say. Love right? Everybody falls. I fell so deep indeed. But everything has  to end somewhere right? So, it eventually did. I bucked up my courage and faced it. I faced the harsh truth and the consequences of my actions. I dare not explain further. Some things are better left unsaid you know.

i was this weak (strongly-weak)

It taught me a great deal of lessons. The value the word ‘NO’. The ability to let go. To question honesty. To set priorities and boundaries. The utmost of all, it taught me ‘resilience’. At times or maybe most of the times, we humans have the tendency to fall on the same ground over and over again  as  we are the  bunch that take for-the-moment-lessons. Today we hear hoo-ha and tomorrow? We hide under the same shell again. Especially those who belong in my cluster. The IMMATURED  it spells. My 2 cents:  till you leave that kid world, cling to those who can protect you. Learn the art of NO! Have the courage to-not-risk when uncertainty clouds your brain. You will never know people’s intentions, for the world is full of vultures. 

Life is a great teacher indeed. Take those lessons. Falling and dusting off and falling again don’t seem classy at all to me. ANYMORE. 

Better off this way. WO!

Back  to the main talk. There were also must-be-mentioned-good things that took place despite all those throbbing ‘happenings’. I experienced how it is like to be a vegan and survive merely on bread. I made new friends. Took up blogging seriously. Wrote a few miserable poems which indirectly killed Shakespeare. Read 5 non-fictions and I’m extremely proud of it!  

Good things and bad things are best friends you know. They often hang together. But it is very sad that our eyes can only enlarge’em  bad things and the poor microscopic good things are always left out of sight. Learn to uncover them. Life will appear better. Simple as that.

this what i'm talking about.SMILE

While yesterdays are save in frames ,move on people!
Renuka G

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Lost for Months

Warning:  Emo elements present, cheesy,  , tissue paper -should –come- handy kinda stuff, ADHD symptoms towards the end, logophobics  are highly undesired.

LOST

Here they lay me down to sleep
For another thousand years I weep
Autumn leaves, my bed you be
People and places I know not thee...
Dead and gone that's what I may be

For I wasn't what they chose to see,
Frozen hands that I cannot feel
But my heart still pounds, as it bleed...

Sun and the moon dance around me

Know I not what tomorrows may be .

Newsflash: Shakespeare just died ( like he was alive yesterday)

for a better vision of my (when pride takes control....) poem: this is what i had in mind (something like this)

exactly something like this with a touch of melancholy.. this is more bolly-like isn't it?? ignore2

the important thing to remember is: it has got nothing to do with :

HONEY, NOT this. =p

I wept...I bled...I died...yet I'm alive. Where is the beginning and where is the end? I know not thee. (actually i feel kinda funny reading the poem, but who cares!) 

F.Y.I

Actually that was like a few months ago. If I’m not mistaken, it is supposed to be my 2^nd attempt on writing poems. I finished like half of it and saved it and today when I was looking for a doc on child development, holla it was right there winking at me. no choice but to oblige its demands *angel-mode*. I sat down about 30 minutes to finish the last 4 lines of the so-called poem. No joke! I take a very long time to start and finish a poem. I write like 1 or 2 lines per day and skipping happens A LOTTTT. It requires a lot of brain juice and word matching games!  Hope the poem makes sense. It is kind of a –little- too- emo type though. Will try on some happy ones soon k? 

Good Night =)

 None other than *drum rolls*

Renuka G

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Solitude

when flu and fever batters my system

Whoever who said that being alone is the only time you can truly be yourself and that our best companion ever is Solitude, are very wise people. The one who perceive true beauty and the magic behind this life may sometimes have to walk alone...it's a fact. And all the miseries in us stem from our inability to be alone...our constant need to be heard, wanted and understood. But you know, I tried and I nearly died trying. Why? because no one will ever understand you fully. because we are lone creatures with lone judgements. Not everyone will walk with you and neither will you walk with everyone else. Am I right? We all walk alone, whether you realize it or not. 

We have friends and foes during the day, but at night we are alone, staring at the dark blue skies in complete solitude. And he who does not ask or want company just to secure an important place for himself in this world, is the greatest man ever...he who knows that even being alone, he is still valuable and very much a part of this great Universe. Caught up in the illusion called 'bonds' that don't last anyway, we continue to be mangled in the misery of wanting company, longing for our thoughts to be validated and our hearts to be recognised.  waste of time. PERIOD.

I realized it finally. Someday all of us have to walk alone. so, Lets practice!

P/S this has got nothing to do with sympathy, merely a random post by me. thank you.

Renuka G

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Eat Pray Love

This movie like inspired me a lot. its an mind blowing memoir of Elizabeth Gilbert. the story tells us about a married woman who realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction. After a painful divorce, she takes off on a round-the-world journey to "find herself". her 1st destination Italy, she found happiness in food (Eat) ! 2nd destination , India where she meditates and learns to pray! 3rd destination Indonesia, she finally finds herself and her true love.

This quote really amazed me.

In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.

Renuka G

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Flustered writing

In the depth of this pain, there's a flicker of hope ..
At the peak of this joy, there's a tinge of betrayal..
In the stillness of the night, there's a new life beginning..
In the empty of this life, there's a fill of warm breaths
At the bottom of this darkness, there's a birth of light..
In the core of this laughter, there's a mile of tears
At the height of rejection, there's a span of acceptance..
In the beauty of this smile, there's a crooked deception...


I'm not sure why I wrote what I wrote above. Something deep within me wanted me to express it somehow. Those thoughts just popped up in my mind and I inked them. As far as I can comprehend is, good things and bad things comes in a package. We have both at once.  Just the way you perceive it differs. 

p/s I wrote it last night! But sadly couldn’t post it.. you guys know what happened to blogger =)

sheer darkness doesn't mean absolute pain

Renuka G

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NeVer EnouGh

Love and life both has no definite meaning or explanation like what the theories and laws we learn in science. You don’t read a book to acquire on what is life and you don’t search on what is love in dictionaries. Yes such books exist and without a doubt dictionary can give the meaning indeed but they were never sufficient to quench our thirst, why? It is because our quest is beyond that. More often we search for things that don’t come easy or we go for more after having one. Finding is one thing, satisfaction speaks a whole different chapter. I dare to say that at least once in everyone’s life each human have the curiosity to know what the hell is happening in his life, what is this circle people are talking about, and does karma really exist?  Somewhat we are just curious. But are we really satisfied with the explanation we acquired ? Is life worth to be questioned?  Or are we just drowning in search of armour?... think about it ..

 Question the Worth of a Quest

Renuka G

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Me, Myself and Charlie

Things that are happening to me lately are so making me commit myself to different types of writing. What to do. Its all His will =p this time I'm going to write about a creature, poisonous creature called the Rove Beetle or Charlie. Mr. Charlie attacked me the day before today... like yesterday, how predictable! If it were to suck my blood and vanish into the air then who cares! As I’m such a generous human being ( self-praise is purely benign) *winks* 

The worst thing about this particular colourful, or maybe so called colourful- orange-black beetle is that, it leaves you with a bright red thing called rash ( like nobody knows) on your skin. It so makes me go ‘DAMN’! Another ‘damn’ factor is, when the rash comes to contact with water it makes you curse like nobody’s business! And before I forget, this gentle-sect bit me near my right ankle when I was having a deep slumber!! Thanks buddy for now i'm your angel, Charlie's Angel =)

Shall i compare you to the .....thou art more annoying than...

 Additional Info: however, Mojojo and Chipmunk are reported to be save from this evil creature and it's poisonous bite ..pheww

ROVE BEETLE @ CHARLIE

Enlarge to read =)

Rash for thought!

Renuka G

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Life's but a brief Candle

Hi guys, I think I took a little-too-long break from blogging since i was visited by some unfriendly problems which I had said goodbye to.  And ya this post is going to be a new attempt in my blogging ‘career’.  Its an academical post about a poem that most of us are familiar with. Since I worship Shakespearean literature to an extent, I had chosen the poem to be Life’s Brief Candle from Shakespeare’s famous and short-most tragedy Macbeth.

Ok first lets recollect how the whole story brings to this famous poem. Macbeth is a scottish Thane Lord and a General in the Scotland army under the rule of Duncan, the king of Scotland. Being deceived by the prophecies of the three witches, Macbeth with the full support of Lady Macbeth plays an evil game to seize the throne. As the play reaches its end, Macbeth starts to lose everything beginning from his sleep, peace and later his wife. In this particular scene in which the poem is featured, Macbeth just received news of the death of Lady Macbeth. This when Macbeth reflects how empty and meaningless this life could be. It is also that he is aware of the defeat that awaits him in his battle with Macduff.

Now lets take a closer look at the poem itself and I'm sorry that I can’t keep formal with my writing. For the 1^st line, it is evident that he is sick of his life already. Read the line and compare it with to-morrow, to-morrow and to-morrow. Shakespeare chose to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow instead. It indirectly spells the tomorrows that are dragging his life more and obviously he is not happy with it. Followed by the first word he chose for the second line ‘creeps’! why creeps and not moves or any other word?  Creeps which means to move slowly in the case of people or animals with the body near the ground. He has to make it hard! Then to add more misery to his slow paced life, he adds the word ‘petty’. Once again he stresses that his life is still going on and its not ending and he is sick of it.  Another bad news comes in the 3^rd line as he has no choice but to live it until he really dies.

All our yesterdays have lighted fools! We are all fooled that life won’t come to an end. Just like how Macbeth didn’t expect the death of his beloved wife. To put in simple words it means that time makes fools of us all for which we don’t know which tomorrow is our last one. We don’t understand things until it is too late. We are doomed back in the end we will only see what fools we are when we reach the last day of our lives.

one day it will

 

Candle that represents life. He wants it to go off! He wants his life to end for he is done with it. Shakespeare is basically symbolising life as a flickering candle. A candle is easily snuffed and our lives are just like that ends anytime. The imagery moves on to a stage where the human being is seen as a poor actor or ‘player’ who worries (frets) his way through his 'play' (life) before dying and being heard of no more, defining exactly the circle Macbeth went through from Act 1 till the final act. The next metaphor says that life is like a story "Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,"the word 'idiot' shows how frustrated and angry he is at his life. Everything is as if life is loud by the things human do and say but it's stupid because we're going to die anyway. So maybe in our words, "Why the hell we're living life anyway?” we do this and that, with strength and courage and all that we have, but at the end of the day we're going to die, so life is idiotic to begin with or to live for. Humans are just playing a part given to them by an idiot which I supposed refers to the God and finally it just means nothing as the ‘play’ ends.

To an extent Shakespeare is right as at one point life really gets meaningless but that doesn’t mean we should not look forward for the tomorrows in our lives for we have so many things to enjoy and live for while we are here. Life is such a brief candle and we are all players on the stage. So what???? Make it worthwhile! And ya, its such a pessimistic poem and that is what we are feeding our children with in our English syllabus. Hopefully they understand the right meaning despite the ‘signifying nothing’ life. 

Living it my way for i believe in tomorrow

 Renuka G

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