Thursday, August 13, 2015

The Vision

While we were making headlines in some local newspapers this morning, an incident at school hit me real hard inside. Honestly speaking, I admit I'm not much of a teacher from within. I do my job. I take responsibilities seriously and that's that. Sometimes, just sometimes I get really overwhelmed with certain things which afflicts me. I dislike kids, true. However, sympathy is an emotion I shower my pupils with because I know they deserve it.

I was having basically sharing with a colleague about the frustrations and disappointments I land myself in every day because of the pupils' lack of effort and zero ambition. It was not a surprise that we were in the same boat. That was when she told me something which saddened me beyond belief. This is not my passion. This is not even close to what I wanted to be. But this feeling is real. I was upset when she revealed what these kids will eventually become someday. The girls will either be working after high school or married. The boys go astray. Those who actually make it to the university are so few, what more those who really succeeds and leave a mark?

For some reasons, I feel some of us are very lucky to be born in a place where education is attainable and accessible. Plus we are blessed to be born in a family which values the ability to read and write than petty skills and norms. These kids, not all but most of them are unfortunate. One of the reason I could coin based on their attitude would be lack of inspiration. They have nobody's success to drool at. The only influence they have is the TV channels which repeatedly air programmes full of sobbing, revenge and everything negative enough to spoil a kid's thoughts into an adult's mind-frame. They do not enjoy internet access like we do. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad one yet, for a kid to not know who is Mahatma Gandhi and their own state is a serious issue I guess.

There are countless number of problems and issues within this small community and the children are simply the scapegoat of a reality which have been going on for years or perhaps decades.
It's a sad case scenario indeed.
Who to blame?
Who to change?
How to transform?
I guess every single teacher with or without passion would at least once thought about this. But in a place as such, heat of the moment would be a joy to watch yet it gets cold real fast and the next thing you know the past repeats itself somehow or someway. It's similar  to a pendulum which sways with a push so fast and gets slow , eventually stopping at point . The next push and no matter how many more that comes won't last forever, either.

Sympathy, anger and frustration are mundane routines which leave me with guilt. Perhaps my expectations are high. Maybe I'm trying too hard that I fail the same way. I feel lost figuring the small steps which leads to a big change. The hope is there still, though. When there's a will, there's a way, right?

Renuka G