Its HARD..

I don't know why am i still awake..its hard to sleep when you are having too many things bothering you at heart and mind. plus it has been quite a while i didn't publish any new post here.

well, things are really going bad and heading to worst situations lately. frankly speaking, its hard.. seriously its hard to cope with everything here..predictably,i'm not good at dealing with problems and people, so that fact is enough to get things even worse!

Sometimes life requires you take up responsibilities, sometimes you need to make all crucial decisions , sometimes you need to confront people, sometimes you need bear with even the worst thing just forsake of relationships and responsibility. how if all this comes at once? yup, its hard..i gotta suck it all up and go on with whatever i gotta do. sometimes most of the time, i feel like letting it all go! giving up! but its just foolish i guess. i have reached till this stage, i've fought half of the battle, so whats the point surrendering at this stage?

People? Lets talk about people..well, who cares about people? if you think carefully, we never did care about people, but we do care and give priority to relationships! those we are bonded with...parents, siblings, most importantly friends! the hardest bunch we have to bear with.. friends are important! its hard to deny that.. but how many of those so-called friends deserve the adjective "important".. again, its hard.. bearing! coping! that is vital~ PATIENCE...

finally MYSELF! don't think im that impractical to not blame myself.. yes i do blame myself for certain things. i am the type who gets close to others in a very short period. the biggest problem with me is that i dont draw lines..i forgive easily.. so ?? some stomp on my head! well other than that, i'm not good at controlling my emotions ! small things can make me cry..i can be damn sarcastic at times too.. its hard, its just me..but dont say i didnt try! i am trying to deal with things in a proper way. without getting too emotional, without hurting others..how far it worked?? i dont know...i tried at least..

Along my way here, i learnt a lot and still learning till this moment..but all i wanna say is its not easy..to be in my shoes.well, let me put it this way, you cant judge someone's situation through any of your senses!!  NO ONE CAN BE IN OTHERS' SHOES! thats not practical...

things are not going well, thats obvious..i'm not trying to fix them, but to bear with them..i wanna get through this without complicating it even more. i'm playing my role, i dont wana hurt anyone, let it be my friend or foe ( like i have 1) ..and if my silence hurts some, i'm sorry...i prefer to be left alone for some time...

-RG-