Mother's Day

Words were never suffice to describe a mother . As much as that might sound like a cliché, don’t be in denial, it is most certainly one!Heee.

 It hit me just today that I have never written a post about mother’s day or my mother but have surprisingly shelved countless number of posts about my dad. She’s like the mysterious soul wishing me well behind the curtains.  Omit  the ‘like’, she is indeed and will always be. So today it would be about mothers.

Relationships are complicated, be it blood- ties or a stranger you just meet. They have ups and downs, tons and tons of misunderstandings, happy times and rocky times and some indescribable situations in which we wonder how complex humans could be. At the end of the day, it’s your call whether to burn the bridge or nurse the wounds. But some ties can never be broken, some bridges are impossible to burn. One would definitely be the relationship between you and your mother.

Shall I put it this way, people will throw stones at a full fruited tree, but the tree never surrendered to that. For it, it isn’t a big deal, the tree will still keep fruiting. It will give the best it could and let you bask its fruits anyway, even though it means  bearing another few stones hurting it. A mother is like a tree, a big tree which shades her children, attends to their needs even if it has to bear a little pain (or at times a lot of it), so magnificent that it withstands the unpredictable storms and rains for as long as it could.  Some of us on the other end are still the foolish crowd who are hurting the tree  consciously or unconsciously thinking it will always be there to shade and to feed us regardless of circumstances. Try to look closer, the tree is aging!

I think this is a reminder to my own self and others out there too. If we let the past disputes and anger rule us, we will only have an old chair, tears and lots of regrets somewhere in the future. Is our pride mightier than the hands which nurtured us? Think about it.

Tomorrow might not be pretty as those golden days. Scars do change a relationship forever, I agree. But let’s just set our egos aside and accept that we are all equally flawed though in different ways. If the many years in this world haven’t taught you the beauty of forgiving and forgetting, you could be alien! :p

Before I end, here goes my belated Mother ’s Day wish to all the mothers in the world including mine! May you be blessed with love, care and a beautiful life just like your pretty little heart!

Renuka G

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Closure of the third

My return to this blog marks the end of my final practicum! God it feels so good . After 3 months of physical and emotional strain, I made it to the finish line. Honestly I feel very proud of myself as throughout the whole process I was conscious enough to sense the challenges and tough times I came pass. Now it's like a big burden lifted off from my shoulders. 

The one thing I learnt would be, if you are crazy about getting something and you work for it, it will be yours. Previously in my life I have seen the negative side of craziness conquering all , this time though the scene is in a positive setting with a much much more positive ending. For that I have to definitely thank my year 4 pupils who turned my tears into a triumphant smile by the end of my practicum. It was indeed an eye opening experience full of valuable lessons. I often had the perspective that class control is all about being stern and shouting and putting up a Chucky face yada yada. Not anymore.

People, be it kids or adults can't be kept in your grip by simply playing the who's-in-control game. It won't be long till you realize you are basically interacting with a piece of wall. What I used to get the kids to cooperate was crafts. Pupils in the weak class can't sit still and listen to you doing the monologue, they rather take walk looking for goats and cows. The only choice you have is to integrate something that interests them and relate it to the content. That was how I taught science after shedding tears for a month trying to figure out what was wrong. I used to hate this class but at last they grew so close to me that I started to love teaching them so much. Thank you kids!

Speaking of life in general, I made peace with myself that everything happened and happens for a reason, good reasons mostly. And even more important, I realized the world is a free place to make individual choices and decisions. There is no need to worry about people who don't care about you, there is no need to know the truth behind every happenings, there is no need to entertain everyone who wants to get to you, there is no need be friends with everyone, there is no need to tail the beliefs and norms of a culture which does not fit you, there's just no need to be copy cats. You are free, create your own rules and be happy living by those principles.

coffee, watching the new beginning unfolds :D

If you fall, it will be your ground and if you rise, let it be your sky! *fairy-dust to all*

Love,

Renuka G 

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Hmm

Days just pass by like this. The same old routine. The day starting will all smiles, morphing into frustrations and later tears. So mundane that tomorrow has become very much predictable. I feel so lost while having my hopes crushed further hard each passing moment. It's not like I didn't try, I did. It's not like I gave up, I'm still fighting the battle. The worst part is, I miss being me.I forgo many things in life because I simply wanna stay happy and escape the stress. This is the ultimate wake-up call I assume, life knows your weakest point. It knows where it hurts.

Just like everyone else, I too have a force pulling me down every time I try to get up.

That's life, right?  No one gets it easy.

Renuka G

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Life is a Marathon!

There will come a point in our lives when we turn around only to find how some people have progressed through life in such a short period. While you are still busy attending to your Barbie's Dream House, you find your friend buying his own house. While you are still gripping hard your fluffiest teddy, you friend's arms are tied in  the name of matrimony. Then when you come home logging into your favourite social network, there you go a video of your friend featured in a tv show, a few new relationship statuses flying around, pictures of some migrating elsewhere, updates of accomplishments and brand new life events triggering that one deadly question. What the hell am I doing wrong?

For most of us, that is the case scenario almost every single day. We are accustomed into believing the cliche of life being a race. We reflect our own progress by comparing it to some else's life. Everyone is striving to sprint through the field without realizing their feet being on different lanes with their so-called competitors. Life is not a race, it is a marathon.

No first, second or third place that is prioritized. It's about finishing it your way. You may sprint and slow down and sprint. You can go slow and steady all throughout the path or any way you wish. Taking life like a race, fearing the stride length of the person on the next lane, looking back on who's coming after you, is just an obvious sign of how unhappy you are with yourself. In the long run, that will only transform you into an unappreciative person who can't see the blessings you have, finally leaving you with nothing but resentments.

Take life as a marathon. It might be a long long journey but do it for yourself. Do it for a purpose. Run to prove yourself. Take your eyes off the medals and prizes, life doesn't start today and finish in the next few moments. No harm in finishing late. All you have to do is have personal goals, dreams and a well-founded passion. Your friend and you, are not the same. You might be entitled for different things, and get it at different times. It's OKAY.

After-all there is no such thing as a perfect life, it's all in the mind.

Renuka G

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I'm so much more

So one more day to go. It's not like I'm happily counting days for my final practicum to kick start but, I'm just excited to improve. For some obvious reasons I should say, I had been too lenient with my performance. It's about time I stop. Only because I don't like some parts of this job, I shouldn't waste my time playing mediocre. Even more important, I shouldn't prioritize 'things' that do not prioritize me.

Maybe I'm too sick right now. I'm too sick of seeing myself giving up at every fall. I'm too tired of making myself believe I had done my best when there's soo much I could have shown. Let's not brood with regrets or shy away because the other person beside you thinks you are not good enough. I genuinely want to make things work. I want a determination that lasts and a passion that could drive each day of the coming 3 months with much meaning.

Anyone can make an extravagant opening, but only a few finish grand. So why be a common man?

Renuka G

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Sinned-Saint

I have heard of people going on a journey of self-discovery and coming back confused still. I'm different though. I know too much. I know too much about my own self that my inner soul dies to shoot me every time I expose that profound knowledge . Anyone on the same boat?  I can recognize my weakness and strengths, my positive side and the little devil within me, also my ego which measures bigger than my head. YES I just admitted that, stop rubbing your eyes.

I wish I hadn't known this much. It's like committing a crime consciously. It's like making a mistake fully realizing it is one. I can't put it any simpler, unless you are a kid!

The one bad thing about the mentioned is, your instincts telling you what's next. I can predict my actions and it gets creepy over the time. It's like a cliche. Every situation is a no-brainer for I know how I will react to it. It can be so accurate that sometimes I wish I could stop the obvious. More often than a not, I ignore it. You feel me?  Perhaps it is my plain belief of self-discovery being, knowing who you are and accepting fully the outcome. So obviously I'm not innocent. 

Knowing and accepting is a far concept from changing and preventing. I have known and accepted the negative and positive sides of myself, like a boss. However, as far as the other two are concerned, I'm helpless. Or maybe I choose not to help myself. Hey, I am no saint, and I don't fancy being one. The world is no place for the purest of hearts and cleanest of minds. If you think it is, perhaps you are delusional or in denial. You need help, so go to mommy! Plus, it's always better to stand in between two extremes. There's no need to be too good or too cruel. Hence, I feel some emotions are better shown and revealed without guilt. Even though I can't control the aftereffect.

You can call me wrong, you can say I'm ugly and speak everything you wish about my opinions but it doesn't matter. It feels ok for me. I don't wish to sugarcoat the reality of life. My words speak the truth I have learnt, which I assume is valid from my perspective. Too good could land you in a 'too bad'-situation. Agree?

Keeping everything aside, let's just admit this one thing, we all claim we know what is right and what is wrong, so how did the world became so polluted of broken hearts and hurtful words? 

Of course I can't blame the cat sleeping on my shoe shelf, isn't it? It's us! Humans! I don't know what had happened to the world, including myself that I feel mistakes are in the recent times done rather consciously than unconsciously. Perhaps our morals are descending with the drastically increasing amount of stress of the ever-busy world. We don't mind hurting because we have been hurt. We are trying so hard to make the unfair life fair and equalize everyone else's equations like it's at all possible. I know I'm failing, hope you will realize it too. But will we ever stop trying? That's a point to ponder!

(God, I wish I hadn't known this much. Shoot me please! )

Renuka G

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