The Turning Point

So everything has finally started. It was indeed a hectic week with 3 days of travelling back and forth to Skudai after school. And then came UPSR. All so frenzy and without a single doubt, exhausting. I was basically rushing right after school, having my snack-like-lunch in the car, stopped at the rest area for a quick face wash and attended the lectures which lasted till 7pm. Crazy times two or perhaps 5. Reaching home close to 9 at night, leaves me no time for gym or any empty idling session either. It's like a schedule resembling tuna in a can. Tightly packed. That's a sort of hyperbole I guess. But trust me, it is not an overstatement.

The whole situation is like what Piper Chapman mentioned in OITNB.

I'm indeed trying to climb Everest in flip flops. Truth be told, I have no serious plans in my head yet about this M.Ed TESL thing. I just wanna learn and use English more and more eventually, improving my proficiency. It's simply my mad love for English that made me commit to this crazy thing. Call me ambitious, call me stupid, I'm willing to surrender. There's something about learning new things that excites me and English is definitely a drug that has made me a happy addict.

Even though I could finish my masters in 2 years time, I've decided to take it slow. At least a little slow. It's better to not go all out and quit due to pressure. Slow and steady baby! I'm planning to stretch till 2.5 to 3 years. I'm working and my work demands lots of energy. By 1.10pm, I am already half dead but I'm sacrificing my cosy bed, stepping out from my comfort zone for something good. I have always believed comfort zone is a dead end, hence, the rest is justified.

Promoting :p

I have no idea how rough this M.Ed journey would be. Up to this point, I'm adapting and trying to get comfortable about being uncomfortable. I once came across a quote which says 'You can never be overdressed or overeducated.' I have zero doubts about it. I wanna fight my way up to Ph.D. Apart from that, my plans of getting my exercise science cert and baking dreams still goes on. At time moment, I just wish to minimize the many many tabs. I'm curious where this road would lead me.
Fingers crossed.

Still having all the fun in the world!

There's so much to learn. There's so much to do. Life is never going to be boring! At least for me :D







Renuka G

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I

The ultimate goal at the moment is to be better than yesterday. We all run after success, or at least  most of us do. There are some who run obediently in their own lane at their own pace. Another bunch pushes those next to them and turn their head to watch who's coming after .It's just how the universe works. Some compete with their own self while the rest battles the  whole world.

My measure of success is parallel to progress. This has always allowed me to be more open to views of others, appreciate their individual abilities and cheer upon their success. Having a perspective as such has also opened doors for a more meaningful progress.


So what's next?

Something for sure!

Renuka G

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Are you game?

The feeling. That damned feeling is back.

People often perceive success as the result of consistent acceptance and fixture of failures. It's like using the negatives to open path to the positives adhering much to the core-most rule of life , ups and downs. As much as you wish you could run, it's the simple motion of a ball bouncing back from a surface. You move back and forth between sweetness and the bitter-side of events, you hit and bounce back.

Although there's a slim chance that you possess a complete anatomy and mechanics similar to ball, more often that is not the case. Sometimes a hit is all you need to fall face-down . At times a hit is more than enough to cripple you so long that it twists the plot altogether.

This is not some friendly prescription of motivational dose nor a faint-sprinkle of fairy dust to the world.

Welcome to rock bottom!

Exactly where life serves you a platter of cold, raw meat at a dinner table with depression and helplessness as sidelines. You wish you could look for inspiration and search restlessly the self-esteem that you know had hidden itself somewhere but to no avail. Again, welcome to rock bottom!

Here, you will chase after a shooting star while simultaneously being frisked by the most daunted of all fears in the real world, the fear of failure. You will run like a mad dog after a bone only to discover the price of the wish is not the chase.

Time will neither be your enemy nor your friend. Time is a distant variable which mocks you and your efforts while still being in motion. You wait, you wait for the clues that it may drop. In your mind you build thoughts that time will soon favour you, it will soon divert its path towards you. You wish and you keep wishing as it continuously proves you wrong.

The final bashing you have at rock bottom, the withdrawal of hope. We are born equipped with a belief system. A system that could collapse like any other. Your good thoughts will soon turn grey and eventually die. And a negative belief system is a dead-system afterall. Wishes will be replaced by anger which will accumulate into merciless acts of self-destruction. Nothing matters. Anything  becomes everything and everything becomes anything. Now, you are officially game.

Only once in a while, an occasional reflection on the mirror will bombard you with questions of your long-gone identity. It would be fun. Everyone loves a little mystery. The moments of struggle to discover the exact turning point which destroyed you to unrecognizable and non-fixable state would challenge your own curiosity.

This is where you return to square one.

The question though is, will it lead you back to a moment of sheer-bitterness or destructive-sweetness?

Renuka G

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Overly-Attached Demands

This is the phase of my life called 'To survive is to learn'. I have grasped a tremendous amount of things for the past few weeks. It was an opportunity to walk out from my comfort zone to let things that I've never experienced before touch me. At first just like any other typical control-freak, I resisted. I was full of anger, felt like a scapegoat of the inescapable event, perturbed to an extent where each bit of my patience only morphed into tears and over-attachment to my bed. It was difficult.

The occurrence which started with a silent-cry soon turned into a loud meltdown, somehow gathering helping hands that came for rescue. I guess this is just how things work, it has to get worse before getting better. And the latter finally took place. I realized it was not all that tough afterall. I was not alone. The problem was me. It was me who stubbornly refuse to come out from my comfort zone. It was me who told myself, this should not have happened when I was expected to simply adapt and learn. 

I have always had the thirst to learn, but why did I over-react on this one?  

FEAR. The fear of failure. As much as I'm curious about learning, I'm also scared of  failing. Over the years I have developed within myself an imaginary wall which allows no excuse for failure. However, what I missed was, to learn you have to move away from your comfort zone. To learn one has to make mistakes. To learn one has to be prepared to fail. Instead of embracing the mysterious blessing, I treated the situation like a battalion of enemies launching attack after another onto me. That was then.

I feel alright now. Things seem to be under control while I steal the chances to learn and be better. Here I realized one important fact, the bitter pill to swallow is what will make you recover. Recover from your ego, high-demands and unrealistic expectations on how things should be/go.

Let loose!

Renuka G

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Prescriptions

It is apparently true what people say about passion, it's an addiction. You will always bounce back like a ball slammed on a surface. Hence this new post justified.

The past few weeks had been pretty overwhelming. I could say 'hard' but it won't explain the truth. Not to pinpoint everything  on work, many other things took place further piling on mental strain. It was a feeling close to drowning but far from panic. The cherry on top is, I reacted so less. I used to jump at every instance and let those tears roll as if it's the proper way to deal with a breakdown. You might think I'd say I'm stronger. Unfortunately, that's not the case. 

I just do not care about some things anymore. Whatever that took place in the past taught me to take life as it unfolds. There is no need to over think the unpredictable, stalk and investigate, or even to question the whys. Everything that you need to know will be brought to you someday, someway. I have so much to do and learn and that I won't compromise for anything. Some people are passing clouds, I would never invest so much trying to hold on to something that would't fit me in the long term. 

One thing I have to get off my chest though. There are certain individuals in the world who thinks life is what they live and everybody else is wrong. Foolish I say. Your life is how you choose to engineer it. If someone brainwashes you into believing a formula to a happy life is what that's in their hands, punch them right on their face! It has never worked that way. If you ever beg someone to show you the right path, then do punch yourself! It's more like finding the perfect pair of shoes. You have to try a few pairs, walk a few steps, pick the right color, think about the most practical choice and weigh your wallet. Simply put, in life you have to take a few decisions and evaluate all of them so you find your own equation that is applicable to your personal life. 

It is not tough but truth be told, we are only afraid of the possible negative outcome. We belittle our abilities to design our lives and settle for anything that we saw perfect from a spectator's angle. Remember, all that shines is not gold.  The same eyes that enables vision are famous for deceptions as well. In short, stop prescribing formulas and receiving formulas. The experiences we had have reasons. Use them to find yourself, and later pursue whatever the hell you want!

Renuka G

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A sip of knowledge

I believe one thing you have to do especially while you are still young and commitment-free is, to jump at every opportunity to learn. Three weeks at the new school has taught me so much. Be it in terms of professional development or self-empowerment , it has been a great place to explore new things. I did not deny the stress and the tiresome journey nor I wish to sugar-coat everything that is taking place. I am merely stating this profession is not what it looks like on the surface. There is so much more in being a teacher and I am taking baby-steps every single day.

It is obvious that the teachers at school are seasoned with experience and knowledge. Their class control is close to perfection while mine is a huge mess still when it comes to lower primary classes. I am excited to learn and to improve and to experiment. These are what makes days interesting. I did not sign up for a   9 to 5 job in front of a PC. I am a teacher. That is what I am and that is what I shall remain, at least for another few years.

Renuka G

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Plans and Pursuits

Who ever expected that I would get back my hometown?

But I am not changing any part of my plan. I wanted to start the hard way and progress through it , that is exactly what I will be doing. It's a long scary 50 minutes drive from home, small school with people of golden hearts, English and Arts, Year 1 and year 6 in my schedule, and many more challenges that I choose not to overly fuss about. Perhaps the years I have spent dreaming of my future turned me into this ambitious girl that I am now. Or it could merely be the whole ' new broom sweeps well' scenario. Let time reveal.

You can place any bets on me but I have already embarked my journey. As I have always desired, I finally signed up for gym and started with light weights. My dad apparently had a shock because it was super tiring  to come home at 5 and head to gym by 5.30 everyday but, this is what I want. I dread ending up like those people who neglect working out using their work as an excuse. Your body is your best friend and the only way to stay healthy is to keep fit. Plus I feel more positive and happy after this routine. Try it! Exercising does make a huge difference in your personality and EQ.

Next, tuition. Cliche ! I already got some offers for home tuition and I will not say no. So what if I am still at the warming up stage of my job ? I can teach. 2 hours a day can't hurt, at least I choose to believe so. Plus they say, you will never know how far you can go if you don't push yourself enough. I already have home-comfort (thank god!) , the rest should be challenging or I will drown and disappear. For once I am happy teaching.  It's like my passion for English yearning to make a  difference in the lives of these kids and more kids. It's stressful to get them to understand without using a word of their mother tongue, but once you succeed the feeling is out of the world. I can go another day for that passion and the thought of me changing at least a little part of their world.

So you think I'm forgoing my baking pursuits? Hell NO! I have enquired some certificate courses for baking and pastry during the weekends. Ambitious uh? Before I pursue my masters, I want to do something simply for sheer passion and the fun of it. Fingers crossed.

This is not me boasting about my grand plans, do not misunderstand. This is about me reminding myself how badly I want to progress. I want to be better. If I ever stop that means I am the best version of me already. You know, 'best' is a myth. The world is full of knowledge, I wish to conquer as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Renuka G

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To walk a dream

I'm a dreamer. Now that I'm unemployed and commitment-free, I have progressed to the next level of dreaming, excessive dreaming. I mean whatever, make sense out of it. My head feels like a reservoir of plans and procrastinated efforts with an automated door allowing access anytime I wish. Hence, I'm always in my dreamland.

Sometimes I wish I could dig out a few ideas, actually bringing them at least a couple of steps closer to reality, but laziness seem to be one clingy partner. Dreaming is the easiest and consumes very little to no work at all thus, producing a faithful user out of me. Not fair yet justified.

I think I'm just another human capable of pampering myself to an unacceptable extent. How sweet of me, right?

Though it was me who wrote the above, I genuinely feel this should not go on for long. There is no doubt that I am a lazy, forever-sleepy, bored soul but naah. As soon as I start working, if this were to become a habit then I'm most certainly in a lot of trouble. Bearing that in mind, I'm gonna make one of my humble yet personally grand idea to use. And everyone will definitely  be informed of the progress!

Renuka G

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The go-to strategy

I had been busy for a couple of months in which I felt nothing but stress. The simplicity of my thoughts and the tamed curiosity held me so close to my responsibilities at hand. Had I not enjoyed those moments?  It was like dating loneliness so deeply that I even desire to take it home with me. Now that the tasks at hand are framed aside, thoughts are wandering, literally everywhere!

I know this means trouble. The return of the whys and why-nots are messing with my head and hey, you two are not welcomed! This is real, my thoughts just unlocked themselves and they seem to be enjoying the limitless space they could occupy while I sit here ranting about the tragedy.

Sometime ago I decided to not commit into a relationship and, be comfortable with the love that I'm blessed with from the people who are already in  my life. Well, so far I had not lost the battle. But you know thoughts, they can be extremely annoying and persuasive in convincing you something is wrong and something is lacking. It is like a mosquito bite-situation. You scratch, you are bruised, you resist, head explodes! Similarly, thoughts are messing with my self-control like a boss as I sit on ehow figuring how to make a padlock to keep my self-control intact. Just shoot me now!

I wonder how they do it :p

Reality check, self-control requires some positive thoughts to counter attack the frenzy thoughts. Here comes the role of ambitions! I do not know about the world population and their views but for me, ambitions are to be fulfilled prior big commitments like marriage especially. So why should I rush? Don't I have too much time to wait for Prince charming? Plus, loneliness seem to get along pretty well with me, judging based on its hesitance to leave me of course. Again, why rush?

my life is colourful still, so why bother ?!! :D

My principle of life is pretty simple. I do not care about fame and recognition, I just want to learn. Learn about everything that mesmerizes me, tickles my curiosity and interests me. Commitments may not stop me from learning, but it does change some things. Call me selfish, I don't think it is risk worth thinking.

Let the random thoughts use up its last bullet, I will be holding tight to my passion and ambitions. My heart is safe in a space surrounded with positivity and just enough ego to keep me going.

Renuka G

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Just live!

I no longer believe life has to be fair what-so-ever. It happens to every single one of us. We cannot resist nor demand reasons behind things that takes place. It is the way it goes. Sometimes it's like a cool breeze ,at times it's a bad storm. Embrace it either way. Put behind those raging emotions and curiosity, just let it happen to you. You will be thankful someday for all the experiences.

I'm thankful for everything that I have been through

Life does not have to be fair always. If you want to grow, learn to accept that fact. Keep walking, no matter what happens, keep going. Nothing is worth stopping for. Life is too short for pauses, I guess. And life is too precious that you can't weigh its fairness on a lever.

Enjoy the mystery, ignore the what-ifs, don't look to the right, don't look to the left, just live! You know you are AMAZING!

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I'm so much more

So one more day to go. It's not like I'm happily counting days for my final practicum to kick start but, I'm just excited to improve. For some obvious reasons I should say, I had been too lenient with my performance. It's about time I stop. Only because I don't like some parts of this job, I shouldn't waste my time playing mediocre. Even more important, I shouldn't prioritize 'things' that do not prioritize me.

Maybe I'm too sick right now. I'm too sick of seeing myself giving up at every fall. I'm too tired of making myself believe I had done my best when there's soo much I could have shown. Let's not brood with regrets or shy away because the other person beside you thinks you are not good enough. I genuinely want to make things work. I want a determination that lasts and a passion that could drive each day of the coming 3 months with much meaning.

Anyone can make an extravagant opening, but only a few finish grand. So why be a common man?

Renuka G

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Sinned-Saint

I have heard of people going on a journey of self-discovery and coming back confused still. I'm different though. I know too much. I know too much about my own self that my inner soul dies to shoot me every time I expose that profound knowledge . Anyone on the same boat?  I can recognize my weakness and strengths, my positive side and the little devil within me, also my ego which measures bigger than my head. YES I just admitted that, stop rubbing your eyes.

I wish I hadn't known this much. It's like committing a crime consciously. It's like making a mistake fully realizing it is one. I can't put it any simpler, unless you are a kid!

The one bad thing about the mentioned is, your instincts telling you what's next. I can predict my actions and it gets creepy over the time. It's like a cliche. Every situation is a no-brainer for I know how I will react to it. It can be so accurate that sometimes I wish I could stop the obvious. More often than a not, I ignore it. You feel me?  Perhaps it is my plain belief of self-discovery being, knowing who you are and accepting fully the outcome. So obviously I'm not innocent. 

Knowing and accepting is a far concept from changing and preventing. I have known and accepted the negative and positive sides of myself, like a boss. However, as far as the other two are concerned, I'm helpless. Or maybe I choose not to help myself. Hey, I am no saint, and I don't fancy being one. The world is no place for the purest of hearts and cleanest of minds. If you think it is, perhaps you are delusional or in denial. You need help, so go to mommy! Plus, it's always better to stand in between two extremes. There's no need to be too good or too cruel. Hence, I feel some emotions are better shown and revealed without guilt. Even though I can't control the aftereffect.

You can call me wrong, you can say I'm ugly and speak everything you wish about my opinions but it doesn't matter. It feels ok for me. I don't wish to sugarcoat the reality of life. My words speak the truth I have learnt, which I assume is valid from my perspective. Too good could land you in a 'too bad'-situation. Agree?

Keeping everything aside, let's just admit this one thing, we all claim we know what is right and what is wrong, so how did the world became so polluted of broken hearts and hurtful words? 

Of course I can't blame the cat sleeping on my shoe shelf, isn't it? It's us! Humans! I don't know what had happened to the world, including myself that I feel mistakes are in the recent times done rather consciously than unconsciously. Perhaps our morals are descending with the drastically increasing amount of stress of the ever-busy world. We don't mind hurting because we have been hurt. We are trying so hard to make the unfair life fair and equalize everyone else's equations like it's at all possible. I know I'm failing, hope you will realize it too. But will we ever stop trying? That's a point to ponder!

(God, I wish I hadn't known this much. Shoot me please! )

Renuka G

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Wisdom-ized

Somewhere between the soaring spirit and rusting memories I realize I have grown so much. You might be praying that I have expanded sideways or floating like a balloon with a melting chocolate in my hand, but sorry you are wrong. I have grown as in, I have matured in my ways of thinking and actions. As cheesy as that I might have sounded, it is no tall-tale.

Below is a prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)

It's not like I have been sitting here praying each and every single day. In fact, I just found this today. I thought it bore so much truth to the extent where I can't help but sharing. 

These are the only crucial things we have to know isn't it? The ability to accept some things we can't change so we can live the next day with a peaceful-mind. The courage to change those which are within our means, and finally to recognize which is what. Not everything in life are reversible. If we have the rewind and pause buttons we have always desired, perfect won't be superficial anymore. Remember, life is no media player. It is a ground for strong contenders to battle it out. But strong isn't all about flexing muscles and boxing hurdles in it's face, endurance is a synonym to go to in some situations. However, when an opportunity to flip things over arise, be sure to muster the courage giving it a try. Don't be hasty, stop being too persistent, choose wisely what to endure and which one to change.

Too many things happen often leaving us confused about what's the best for us, that's very true. Therefore learn to put emotions behind and think with your head. Emotions are the worst dictator of all.. It will mess with your beliefs and leak your tear glands and make your hair fall as soon as you begin prioritizing it. Do you fancy that? Like seriously? Think about it. 

Bottomline, if you want to be matured my advice is, master the mentioned three, the ability to endure, change and recognize which is what. Try to reason the good behind a bad occurrence, pursue a dream if there's still a chance and last but not least, accept success and failure as the part and parcel of life.

No man lives in a paradise, but nobody said he can't create one.

Renuka G

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Resolutions?

Holla 2014! This is my first post of the horse year. Let's talk about resolutions. Resolutions, in my point of view, are the list of things or lies we convince ourselves with, to live better and feel better. However, since to live better one needs to keep up with it, to feel better might be the closer truth.   No? You are living in denial, buttercup! Resolutions are the extravagant ideas running in our heads, sometimes close to fantasy, that are formed in the so called curtain-rising excitement.

Having condemned it pretty badly, I of course did not make any. The reason being, I just wanna live. We make decisions every single day. If it's a good one, we change our lives for the better. There's no magic power to a four digit number to bring in determination, unless you choose it to be so. New Year is just another day.

Being a good street peeper, I realize most people make resolutions about their relationships, work and physiques. The mentioned reflects the most common issues everyone faces, like every single day. 2014 or 2015 or even 2020 can't help if your resolutions are mere handwritten list of improvisations-planned. One thing about hopping on a trend is that, it fades with time. Same goes with new year resolutions. Typical trend which will be chucked at a corner in just weeks time. First of all, do you even remember the resolution or resolutions you made the previous year?

The whole thing is like going into the hunger games with all the weapons yet dying because you don't know how they work. Only consolation being, the thought. But to think again, does it even matter? I mean the thought. Dreams without an action I guess. Or wait, people do work on their resolutions don't they? Like I previously said, for a period of time, till old habits start kicking in. They die hard honey! 1st day of the year is no magic date to throw in determination.

Come back to reality. Instead of dreaming big about going to work on time, eating healthy and spending more time with family, learn determination first. Any day can turn you into a new leaf as long as you are strong about something you wish. True strength comes from the heart and a healthy mind, not by looking at firework displays or through a liquored midnight.

Bottom line, 2014 is just another 2013, 2012 or any other past years. It's the whole roller coaster thingy once again. The big question is, what you wanna do differently this time? Don't over-think about resolutions. You know what you want. So make decisions as you go, as you need. Your first January can be even today or tomorrow. No one has missed the chance to relive the wrong choices YET.

Happy New Year fellas!

Renuka G

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Burning Bridges

Whatever that leaves you is for the good, that's my dad's way of confronting life. He always advises me to not bother if anything goes off my grip because it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I look at past relationships, an old friend perhaps, thinking maybe things would have been different if I did it another way. Delusional tale. It's like meddling with a broken wheel. Only because it rolls when I spin it, doesn't mean it's gonna roll by itself in the long run. It will stop somewhere along the way, maybe so worse that it can't be fixed anymore. Just like that, when something or someone begin to show you the signs, keep the door wide open. Have faith because the same door will bring in the better sometime later

Many people waste too much time brooding over whether to burn or not burn the bridge. They carry with them too much doubts and what ifs that are not necessarily worth it. They cling too hard and handcuff themselves to the root of their issues hence refusing to let go the all-set-to-go baggage. Yes baggage. This baggage will soon turn into their biggest burden. Dragging a baggage might seem like strong act done with pride but remember, the farther you drag, the horrendous it gets.

Whatever that leaves you is for the good. Feel free to wave goodbye. Lets not be overly imaginative thinking it could work or it would have worked. Those who wants to stay will stay no matter what and those who wants to leave won't stop even if you put up an electric fence against it.

It's a beautiful life, spend it with those who wants to stay. And there's always a corner for baggages, always JUST a corner.

Till next time,

Renuka G

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That Pretty Dress

When a dress is new, we hunt down events to wear them. To flaunt it's freshness, to let the world see the beautiful design of it, with a smile rather as perfect as the dress itself. We make home out of a mirror, turning to the right, to the left,  moving like a ballerina on top of a music box. What an amazing sight. 

Time will pass. And the same dress you once donned at every significant event of your life, will soon wear off. The stitches might become loose. Faded. A little torn at the side. Now the perfect beautiful dress is left somewhere among the rest of the daily wear and tear section. Sometimes when you open and slide close the wardrobe it peeks out at you in desperation, hoping someday you will pick it once again. Positivity is such a pain but just like love, hopes can be blind to. 

Do you think something that is used all out will ever be someone's pick rather than a mere option? 

The answer is no. People do not cling to things that don't make them look good anymore. They are always in a mad-search for something fresh, something they do not have. But little do they know, that too will wear off. The world is designed in a way that what enters ,shall exit. Some things wear off, some disappear, some forgotten while the rest is thrown. Permanent might be the memories and impact, yet presence is never the case. 

You can try running as far as you can I bet, our fate though is similar to the dress mentioned. We come all fresh and new, we shine, we impress, and the mighty sword of time takes its course. One day we are all just memories. Naah this doesn't only apply to death, it applies to everything. Relationships, success, etc etc.

Life is tough, get a helmet.

Renuka G

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Silver linings, not playbook.

Every cloud has a silver lining. But not all silver linings could make the dark cloud gloom any less. With that said, there's more to failures than small victories, and there's more to life than sheer happiness. Everything is reciprocal, you do the math.

Renuka G

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So serious

Ok holla back everyone. So why am I back? And that's what you have ask? NO. I have stopped answering rude questions, therefore, I shall proceed and make your eyes sore looking at the screen.

Well, this is the part of my life called, ' I don't know'. Yes that's the name of the part , not I don't know being the answer. Kapish? ( And that's the  new spanish word i've learnt which I will use fully for showing off purposes. Oh wait,it's Italian) Back on the part, I don't know. To further explain, this is where things get real blurry like you need a new spectacles or lenses because , obviously that's what you do when things get blur. No brainer! However, things here is not like the television screen or the notice boards, it's trouble to the next level. Blurriness dictates your tomorrows, future, dreams etc etc. You feel like it's blur because it's far, but trust me buddy, it's blur because it's blur.  Cliche.  I mean the cause being something else than the usual.

This is getting real confusing I guess. I feel twisted. Like literally physically twisted ( which may also be because I'm trying a yoga pose at the moment, but let's not digress).This I don't know phase, is all about worries. Worries that the expected might turn the other way round. Possibilities locked, and dilemmas shoot up. Your eyes are fine, only the reality is hazy. You get what I mean?

Point blank, I'm stuck. I'm stuck for I can't foresee the future. I'm stuck thinking it can be corrected by changing some things. Major stuck-ing screw up this is.

But I'm still happy. You know why?

Even though this is a complete nonsensical post, you stuck around till the end. *Tears of joy* Tell me who was stuck now??
Kapish?

Boo-Yah

Renuka G

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You know when it happens

I wonder how two worlds collide. A lighted oil lamp seem to stand tall among chandeliers. It's amazing to see the newly blossomed flower from the garden looking over the old tree.  Just like that, some things are not meant to be justified, only felt. They marvel us, they excite us, and they take us by our feet without a clue. Rare I should say these happenings. Some stop to feel, while the rest ignore. If you know it's happening to you, don't miss a second. Not all precious moments come by for a second visit.

Spreading some love ,
Renuka G

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Slurp the Surp

Holla people! Hope everyone is good.

Today I wanna talk about surprises. Yes surprises. Some are capable of giving a free ride to cloud 9 while some could throw you off the cliff in mere seconds.

I love surprises, and any normal person of course, would stand by the sweet surprises, avoiding the bitter ones like a plague. But since I just can't understand normal, I love'em both.

Hey, I anticipate the unexpected you see, who cares what mood it carries!

Bitter ones test on your EQ while the happy-versions elevate you off your ground giving you the most wonderful feeling ever. I wanna score both.

I don't mind putting to test my ability to endure and stay stable still. It's challenging , yet an art to be learnt by all. Sadly not everyone is like me, right? Well, I just can't understand normal! :p

SO why am I all of a sudden speaking of surprises and not flaunting my work out-routines? In actuality,  lately I have been surprised a lot, like really a lot of times. And I'm loving it. It's more like challenge vs pleasure, which is acting  like motivation to accept the rule of life, consisting of 2 elements, the ups and the downs. When they take you in a spontaneous manner, so unprepared, and sudden, I can't help but wait for the next thrill.

You just gotta enjoy life whichever form it takes or gives. Screw normal! Life needs surprises. They make the most wonderful memories. Now, take this to the bank!

Renuka G

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