The Turning Point

So everything has finally started. It was indeed a hectic week with 3 days of travelling back and forth to Skudai after school. And then came UPSR. All so frenzy and without a single doubt, exhausting. I was basically rushing right after school, having my snack-like-lunch in the car, stopped at the rest area for a quick face wash and attended the lectures which lasted till 7pm. Crazy times two or perhaps 5. Reaching home close to 9 at night, leaves me no time for gym or any empty idling session either. It's like a schedule resembling tuna in a can. Tightly packed. That's a sort of hyperbole I guess. But trust me, it is not an overstatement.

The whole situation is like what Piper Chapman mentioned in OITNB.

I'm indeed trying to climb Everest in flip flops. Truth be told, I have no serious plans in my head yet about this M.Ed TESL thing. I just wanna learn and use English more and more eventually, improving my proficiency. It's simply my mad love for English that made me commit to this crazy thing. Call me ambitious, call me stupid, I'm willing to surrender. There's something about learning new things that excites me and English is definitely a drug that has made me a happy addict.

Even though I could finish my masters in 2 years time, I've decided to take it slow. At least a little slow. It's better to not go all out and quit due to pressure. Slow and steady baby! I'm planning to stretch till 2.5 to 3 years. I'm working and my work demands lots of energy. By 1.10pm, I am already half dead but I'm sacrificing my cosy bed, stepping out from my comfort zone for something good. I have always believed comfort zone is a dead end, hence, the rest is justified.

Promoting :p

I have no idea how rough this M.Ed journey would be. Up to this point, I'm adapting and trying to get comfortable about being uncomfortable. I once came across a quote which says 'You can never be overdressed or overeducated.' I have zero doubts about it. I wanna fight my way up to Ph.D. Apart from that, my plans of getting my exercise science cert and baking dreams still goes on. At time moment, I just wish to minimize the many many tabs. I'm curious where this road would lead me.
Fingers crossed.

Still having all the fun in the world!

There's so much to learn. There's so much to do. Life is never going to be boring! At least for me :D







Renuka G

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The Vision

While we were making headlines in some local newspapers this morning, an incident at school hit me real hard inside. Honestly speaking, I admit I'm not much of a teacher from within. I do my job. I take responsibilities seriously and that's that. Sometimes, just sometimes I get really overwhelmed with certain things which afflicts me. I dislike kids, true. However, sympathy is an emotion I shower my pupils with because I know they deserve it.

I was having basically sharing with a colleague about the frustrations and disappointments I land myself in every day because of the pupils' lack of effort and zero ambition. It was not a surprise that we were in the same boat. That was when she told me something which saddened me beyond belief. This is not my passion. This is not even close to what I wanted to be. But this feeling is real. I was upset when she revealed what these kids will eventually become someday. The girls will either be working after high school or married. The boys go astray. Those who actually make it to the university are so few, what more those who really succeeds and leave a mark?

For some reasons, I feel some of us are very lucky to be born in a place where education is attainable and accessible. Plus we are blessed to be born in a family which values the ability to read and write than petty skills and norms. These kids, not all but most of them are unfortunate. One of the reason I could coin based on their attitude would be lack of inspiration. They have nobody's success to drool at. The only influence they have is the TV channels which repeatedly air programmes full of sobbing, revenge and everything negative enough to spoil a kid's thoughts into an adult's mind-frame. They do not enjoy internet access like we do. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad one yet, for a kid to not know who is Mahatma Gandhi and their own state is a serious issue I guess.

There are countless number of problems and issues within this small community and the children are simply the scapegoat of a reality which have been going on for years or perhaps decades.
It's a sad case scenario indeed.
Who to blame?
Who to change?
How to transform?
I guess every single teacher with or without passion would at least once thought about this. But in a place as such, heat of the moment would be a joy to watch yet it gets cold real fast and the next thing you know the past repeats itself somehow or someway. It's similar  to a pendulum which sways with a push so fast and gets slow , eventually stopping at point . The next push and no matter how many more that comes won't last forever, either.

Sympathy, anger and frustration are mundane routines which leave me with guilt. Perhaps my expectations are high. Maybe I'm trying too hard that I fail the same way. I feel lost figuring the small steps which leads to a big change. The hope is there still, though. When there's a will, there's a way, right?

Renuka G

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Go ahead, fuss!

I'm not complaining. Believe it if you are dumb ! I apparently, most certainly, without a single percent of doubt ,am complaining. How else would you sanely and rationally put it?

I could possibly be in denial. The condition in which a person justifies everything favoring to one's own fairytale-ish thoughts. But unfortunately you can't frame me on that this time . This is a shameless confession on my presumably self-destructive behavior. Or better put as an idea.

I'm complaining. I took me a long while to figure the name for the ongoing process for I was constantly tapping on the imaginary denial button in my head which was pretty fun to play with, honestly speaking. I could conclude from the end findings which followed the revelation, I wasn't actually doomed. To my relief, I wasn't.

What's wrong with complaining ? Have you had like one day in your life that you accept every single thing which happened? It could be the simplest ones like the morning alarm to phone notifications, we all have something that ticks us off . We wear our complaints the same way we wear our shades. Whenever necessary! It doesn't matter if it's RayBan or the one from an accessory shop behind your house, classiest or a useless complaint, we are certainly guilty of some. Or maybe not? Think again.

I guess complaints are fine. As long as you are not miserable everyday, it is of course alright to whine and lament. Our head do need quick intense surge of emotions like annoyance and anger combined in speedball motion now and then to just set us apart from robots and other gadgets the technology has given birth to. The only thing that makes us who we are, the Humans. 

I have complaints. Sometimes I can't even stop listing because they never end. It's so long I could make or break a record if there's any. But duhh, like I care? My complaints are comfortably occupying my head space not as a tenant but merely the furniture. Fully controlled by me. I move them, destroy them and manipulate them how-so-ever I wish. 

And I  believe a man without complaints is a man without thoughts. Come on, who wants to be that? 

Renuka G

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I

The ultimate goal at the moment is to be better than yesterday. We all run after success, or at least  most of us do. There are some who run obediently in their own lane at their own pace. Another bunch pushes those next to them and turn their head to watch who's coming after .It's just how the universe works. Some compete with their own self while the rest battles the  whole world.

My measure of success is parallel to progress. This has always allowed me to be more open to views of others, appreciate their individual abilities and cheer upon their success. Having a perspective as such has also opened doors for a more meaningful progress.


So what's next?

Something for sure!

Renuka G

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Prescriptions

It is apparently true what people say about passion, it's an addiction. You will always bounce back like a ball slammed on a surface. Hence this new post justified.

The past few weeks had been pretty overwhelming. I could say 'hard' but it won't explain the truth. Not to pinpoint everything  on work, many other things took place further piling on mental strain. It was a feeling close to drowning but far from panic. The cherry on top is, I reacted so less. I used to jump at every instance and let those tears roll as if it's the proper way to deal with a breakdown. You might think I'd say I'm stronger. Unfortunately, that's not the case. 

I just do not care about some things anymore. Whatever that took place in the past taught me to take life as it unfolds. There is no need to over think the unpredictable, stalk and investigate, or even to question the whys. Everything that you need to know will be brought to you someday, someway. I have so much to do and learn and that I won't compromise for anything. Some people are passing clouds, I would never invest so much trying to hold on to something that would't fit me in the long term. 

One thing I have to get off my chest though. There are certain individuals in the world who thinks life is what they live and everybody else is wrong. Foolish I say. Your life is how you choose to engineer it. If someone brainwashes you into believing a formula to a happy life is what that's in their hands, punch them right on their face! It has never worked that way. If you ever beg someone to show you the right path, then do punch yourself! It's more like finding the perfect pair of shoes. You have to try a few pairs, walk a few steps, pick the right color, think about the most practical choice and weigh your wallet. Simply put, in life you have to take a few decisions and evaluate all of them so you find your own equation that is applicable to your personal life. 

It is not tough but truth be told, we are only afraid of the possible negative outcome. We belittle our abilities to design our lives and settle for anything that we saw perfect from a spectator's angle. Remember, all that shines is not gold.  The same eyes that enables vision are famous for deceptions as well. In short, stop prescribing formulas and receiving formulas. The experiences we had have reasons. Use them to find yourself, and later pursue whatever the hell you want!

Renuka G

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Plans and Pursuits

Who ever expected that I would get back my hometown?

But I am not changing any part of my plan. I wanted to start the hard way and progress through it , that is exactly what I will be doing. It's a long scary 50 minutes drive from home, small school with people of golden hearts, English and Arts, Year 1 and year 6 in my schedule, and many more challenges that I choose not to overly fuss about. Perhaps the years I have spent dreaming of my future turned me into this ambitious girl that I am now. Or it could merely be the whole ' new broom sweeps well' scenario. Let time reveal.

You can place any bets on me but I have already embarked my journey. As I have always desired, I finally signed up for gym and started with light weights. My dad apparently had a shock because it was super tiring  to come home at 5 and head to gym by 5.30 everyday but, this is what I want. I dread ending up like those people who neglect working out using their work as an excuse. Your body is your best friend and the only way to stay healthy is to keep fit. Plus I feel more positive and happy after this routine. Try it! Exercising does make a huge difference in your personality and EQ.

Next, tuition. Cliche ! I already got some offers for home tuition and I will not say no. So what if I am still at the warming up stage of my job ? I can teach. 2 hours a day can't hurt, at least I choose to believe so. Plus they say, you will never know how far you can go if you don't push yourself enough. I already have home-comfort (thank god!) , the rest should be challenging or I will drown and disappear. For once I am happy teaching.  It's like my passion for English yearning to make a  difference in the lives of these kids and more kids. It's stressful to get them to understand without using a word of their mother tongue, but once you succeed the feeling is out of the world. I can go another day for that passion and the thought of me changing at least a little part of their world.

So you think I'm forgoing my baking pursuits? Hell NO! I have enquired some certificate courses for baking and pastry during the weekends. Ambitious uh? Before I pursue my masters, I want to do something simply for sheer passion and the fun of it. Fingers crossed.

This is not me boasting about my grand plans, do not misunderstand. This is about me reminding myself how badly I want to progress. I want to be better. If I ever stop that means I am the best version of me already. You know, 'best' is a myth. The world is full of knowledge, I wish to conquer as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Renuka G

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Dancing with weights

Yesterday of all the days got me swinging to the peak of happiness. It was those times you feel so much joy and the reason seems to be plenty to name. Perhaps because I have always been away in the past that this long long stay home has gotten pretty overwhelming.

I love enjoying the moments in my life. Be it the rough ones or the sweetest happenings, I always take some time to muse over things and embrace whatever that's happening. It was indeed the happiest thing to be home and taste homemade ponggal after 5 years, at the same time realising that I might not have this luxury in the coming years. Ok it may have sounded like a military man returning to his camp but a teacher too possibly has the same reality. Some of the teachers serving in the interiors of Sabah and Sarawak have their family back in the peninsular. It's not easy to travel back and forth setting aside the expenses for one journey home. Yet they are making it happen! Every single day in the jungles where even a phone call is a matter of luck and blessings.

But I'm happy even if that shall be my destiny. And by god's will I will be happy. I leave that to time. Who knows, I might get posted somewhere near, right?  Back to my story. I love watching the way people show their love and care. Home is the best place you are privileged to see both. I'm enjoying every single moment of it. Sometimes you just don't need to demand, fuss or try at all. You are sent the best people to be with. They stick with you no matter what. I have my dad, my family and the people I have met in the past two years. They are gems! And yes I will always specifically mention my dad because he deserves every single  praise and he will always be the man who  only gave the best to me. 

I was happy like really happy, so happy that I could even cry. It's amazing to be feeling all this. On top of all, it's amazing to just be me. I even skipped cardio and held the dumbbells dancing in the room yesterday  which probably torched more calories  or at least I assume so. 

Gratitude is of dire importance! A day like this absolutely earns itself a post. It's not like a bad day doesn't deserve one. From my perspective, I strongly believe things that I put up on the net should be motivational and positive. I had come a long way to realise how important it is to only see things that makes me happy. Hence I want to grant my readers or random strangers who stop by the same privilege through my blog which is, to read good thoughts. None of you random people knows me but if my words could shine your day with positivity and hope, the blessing will somehow come back to me. I always have faith in that.

Another day of happiness shall follow.

Renuka G

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End of Degree

Five and a half years of journey and not dedicating a post to honour it would be a shame. 

They say everything starts with a dream. My life in IPGM though kicked off with lots of tears, disappointments, did severe damage to my self-esteem yet progressed somehow. Life begins at the end of one's comfort zone, couldn't agree more. Despite all that broke me and wound me, I survived. The credit definitely goes to the wonderful souls I met along the way. Some who sat beside me and listened, the rest who touched my life from a far distance. Thank you is not suffice to show how much I appreciate your kindness. 

There were phases so tormenting I came pass. The fact that I am calm enough today to recall them is just the power of time which turned things over. Nothing lasts forever is both a happy and sad phrase. In this case it is most certainly something I am smiling while writing it down. I don't know your story but this is mine. Speaking from my perspective, all that I am now is everything that happened to me. My past made me myself. Even though it was never in my dreams to teach, the five years were a journey of self-discovery of a kind. I have no grand confessions that my interests have changed, I love what I am doing, I can't wait to be working. No. I can't lie to myself. That is what I learnt.

For many years I lived that way. Lying to myself, giving myself excuses, refusing to accept what is right in front of my eyes, denying reality, trying to be someone I am not. But every single mistake gave me a lesson which I fortunately took as a voice from above. Instincts were a good companion I should say.  I didn't change because I wanted to, it was the call of circumstances that somehow made a huge impact on the person I am. It took me half a decade to finally discover my passion and build my dreams. Along the way I also picked up some great truths about people, relationships and the course of life in general. My story so far seem perfect with the flaws and damages because that is what it was meant to be like. And I am happy to  be holding the pen still.

This degree means so little compared to the experiences but it is of course the milestone which will bring me closer to my dreams. Yes I know what I want to do, like finally.

People sometimes have an unrealistic image of what life should be like and jumps into comparing theirs with the person beside them. It doesn't work that way. We all will achieve different things at different stages after different struggles and different experiences. Life begins when you believe that you too are entitled for success and happiness though not at this right moment, at the same level with someone else. Dream, believe in it, work hard and don't stop till you bask the fruits. That is what I learnt. Nothing beats a strong heart and mind. Once you get the perfect balance of both, you are on your way towards something great.

While some of my peers are celebrating, I am still positively outlining my route to success. I can't wait to make my dreams come true. I am happy what I did not enjoy showed me what I should be doing. Who knew, right?

Never underestimate the experiences life put you through, there's a reason behind everything that had happened. I am humbled and I am thankful. Having said that, I would like wish everyone in my life well and good luck in their future undertakings. You all made this possible.

Renuka G

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Closure of the third

My return to this blog marks the end of my final practicum! God it feels so good . After 3 months of physical and emotional strain, I made it to the finish line. Honestly I feel very proud of myself as throughout the whole process I was conscious enough to sense the challenges and tough times I came pass. Now it's like a big burden lifted off from my shoulders. 

The one thing I learnt would be, if you are crazy about getting something and you work for it, it will be yours. Previously in my life I have seen the negative side of craziness conquering all , this time though the scene is in a positive setting with a much much more positive ending. For that I have to definitely thank my year 4 pupils who turned my tears into a triumphant smile by the end of my practicum. It was indeed an eye opening experience full of valuable lessons. I often had the perspective that class control is all about being stern and shouting and putting up a Chucky face yada yada. Not anymore.

People, be it kids or adults can't be kept in your grip by simply playing the who's-in-control game. It won't be long till you realize you are basically interacting with a piece of wall. What I used to get the kids to cooperate was crafts. Pupils in the weak class can't sit still and listen to you doing the monologue, they rather take walk looking for goats and cows. The only choice you have is to integrate something that interests them and relate it to the content. That was how I taught science after shedding tears for a month trying to figure out what was wrong. I used to hate this class but at last they grew so close to me that I started to love teaching them so much. Thank you kids!

Speaking of life in general, I made peace with myself that everything happened and happens for a reason, good reasons mostly. And even more important, I realized the world is a free place to make individual choices and decisions. There is no need to worry about people who don't care about you, there is no need to know the truth behind every happenings, there is no need to entertain everyone who wants to get to you, there is no need be friends with everyone, there is no need to tail the beliefs and norms of a culture which does not fit you, there's just no need to be copy cats. You are free, create your own rules and be happy living by those principles.

coffee, watching the new beginning unfolds :D

If you fall, it will be your ground and if you rise, let it be your sky! *fairy-dust to all*

Love,

Renuka G 

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Hmm

Days just pass by like this. The same old routine. The day starting will all smiles, morphing into frustrations and later tears. So mundane that tomorrow has become very much predictable. I feel so lost while having my hopes crushed further hard each passing moment. It's not like I didn't try, I did. It's not like I gave up, I'm still fighting the battle. The worst part is, I miss being me.I forgo many things in life because I simply wanna stay happy and escape the stress. This is the ultimate wake-up call I assume, life knows your weakest point. It knows where it hurts.

Just like everyone else, I too have a force pulling me down every time I try to get up.

That's life, right?  No one gets it easy.

Renuka G

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Lemons that made lemonade

Choices in life finally, always, comes down to two. Wants and needs. I believe everyone is much excited about wants rather than needs though the truth is usually, wants being the exaggeration or extension of our needs which may or may not be truly fundamental. Don't think there is necessity to further explain the mentioned because who wouldn't like getting things their way right?

For a fairly long time, I have been that person. I was obsessed about my wants. I want this, I wanted that, I wanted everything my way till the moment I was humbled by my own thoughts. Instead of looking at personal pleasures and interests, I begin to look at satisfaction. Satisfaction of fulfilling certain responsibilities that I deem everyone should bow to. Well, I'm not going to disclose that responsibility of mine but I believe everyone has at least one . The difference being, whether we ignore them because we are drowned by our wants or we embrace them because of our needs. I choose the latter.

Let me give a simple example. Water. We need water as that is human necessity. And we want chocolates. First we have to ensure we have enough supply of water, then we can go look for all the chocolates in the world. Just like that. Responsibilities are the musts, while desires are the supplementaries. At least that's how I believe it to be. And that's how it will be if you are not selfish.

Bottom line, life hit me with two choices, and I picked to render to my needs.  It might not end up a perfect journey, but it's the absolute right thing to do.

Renuka G

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That Pretty Dress

When a dress is new, we hunt down events to wear them. To flaunt it's freshness, to let the world see the beautiful design of it, with a smile rather as perfect as the dress itself. We make home out of a mirror, turning to the right, to the left,  moving like a ballerina on top of a music box. What an amazing sight. 

Time will pass. And the same dress you once donned at every significant event of your life, will soon wear off. The stitches might become loose. Faded. A little torn at the side. Now the perfect beautiful dress is left somewhere among the rest of the daily wear and tear section. Sometimes when you open and slide close the wardrobe it peeks out at you in desperation, hoping someday you will pick it once again. Positivity is such a pain but just like love, hopes can be blind to. 

Do you think something that is used all out will ever be someone's pick rather than a mere option? 

The answer is no. People do not cling to things that don't make them look good anymore. They are always in a mad-search for something fresh, something they do not have. But little do they know, that too will wear off. The world is designed in a way that what enters ,shall exit. Some things wear off, some disappear, some forgotten while the rest is thrown. Permanent might be the memories and impact, yet presence is never the case. 

You can try running as far as you can I bet, our fate though is similar to the dress mentioned. We come all fresh and new, we shine, we impress, and the mighty sword of time takes its course. One day we are all just memories. Naah this doesn't only apply to death, it applies to everything. Relationships, success, etc etc.

Life is tough, get a helmet.

Renuka G

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Spreading joy

You can sit where you are and spend a lifetime chasing after things you think will make you cheese, or you may opt  to open your eyes to the beautiful world around you. 

It doesn't matter if it's a lemon or a lemonade that life throws at you, find joy in simplicity. Don’t let negative situations or people become you. There's no excuse to change the good in you. Hold firm to your ground !

People leave a profound impact on us, our thinking and our behaviour, therefore, choose those who want in your circle cautiously. Most importantly, don't give mind to those who don't matter. Take and give more chances to speak good, mean good and do good to the world instead of peeping through someone's skirt and fanning it.

Next, stop worrying about living the best. If you think today wasn't as good as you wished, you will always appreciate the tomorrows . Live more with days rather than living the best everyday, for that's when you know the benign effect of a mistake. Life is about trial and errors, experiment all along. 

One more thing, attitudes are contagious; spread joy and strive to inspire! The world needs a heads up before the negative vibes drown us all.

Renuka G

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Cheerrrrrrrr

I have heard many stories and some I have seen taking place right in front of my 4 eyes, considering that I'm wearing a pair of spectacles. However, the stories capable of moving me most profoundly are about people having tons of weight on the shoulder yet sprinkling the rainbow dust to those around them.

Cheerfulness is indeed a value to be learnt and appreciated by everyone. It has the ultimate power to eliminate many negative thoughts and pain within us. It's like a free anti-depressant. People who choose to show happiness and rather spread smile than hurt are the great achievers of all. I have met some along the way , they are indeed a rare breed.

I once read in a book that being cheerful indicates your intelligence of being aware if you live in the state of pleasure, you can have the impact to meet virtually any challenge that comes your way. What makes things hard at the first place is one's attitude of feeding the monstrous emotions like pain, hurt etc. Kill them while they are still little. As mean as it might sound, it makes a lot of sense. Isn't that strong enough? Ok. A LOT of sense. Caps always make a difference *winks* . If you're smart,  start showing happy faces! Good kids.

So it's about time everyone instead of trying so hard to convince your inner soul to be happy, tell your face to do so. Everything else will follow. If it doesn't, keep trying. You have got nothing to lose, a smile is free isn't it? Thank god it is, or I don't know how I would survive all the stupid deals and bets I enjoy making .

Be cheerful, and transmit joy like a  bad virus.  Some nonsense do make sense and are indeed contagious.

Renuka G

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Rain Rain Go Away

A wise man once said, life's tough get a helmet. Even though I have no idea who is he and why he phrased it that way I agreed with him to a certain extent. Today a wise girl is going to say something, so you better be all ears. Life's tough, get an umbrella. Well, I need not further introduce the wise girl for we all know who is she *winks*. Let's just move on.

What is with rain people? What's with the rain? It has been 2 weeks since I was tormented by it. There is no need for me to make a list with nonsensical elaborations on why I dislike the rain because I'm a VERY serious person. Having lied that way, I will only use 3 words to describe the whys. Mosquitoes, flu, waffles.

Mosquitoes. Rain increases the number of thirsty mosquitoes that are picky enough to only find a person named Renuka. I have ordered scientific researches to prove this fact ( Yes it is already a fact before proven),  but results might take more time. So what this mosquitoes do is that, they suck me dry. DRY! And leave me itchy. How mean! Just to avoid unnecessary arguments and physical contact, I avoid going to bed. Plus even if I try, there will be no sleep. Only scratching. And YES I'm too poor to get a repellent, believe it.  Due to this whole mosquito scenario, I am always forced to stay up and play candy crush instead. People call me an addict, some say I have no life, some say I'm just a part of a craze, but nobody knows the sad story behind my candy-crushing agenda. Please wipe your tears, no tears tonight.

Flu. I'm not poor to get an umbrella because I do have one. Yet due to a medical condition I lost my memory on how to use an umbrella, therefore, whenever there is rain and I'm out, it's flood on myself. Sad case. Till now my flu found no cure because the rain found no stop. Life's tough, know how to use an umbrella!

Waffles. I have this weird cravings for waffles when it's raining. And there was one day when I went to satisfy my craving while it was still raining. Guess what happened? Waffles turned from biting texture to scooping smoothness. Amazing uh? NO! It sucked.

How can I not dislike rain?

Well honestly speaking I do like rain. I mean the sound of it, the cold weather in which I could cover my whole self with my blankie, sleep like nobody's business ( only at spots with no mosquitoes), etc etc. But not when I'm tormented like this.

Dear Rain, please take away the mosquitoes and my flu and bring me some fresh peanut waffles :)

Renuka G

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Blurred Whys

I'm going to be super free till next week ends, so more nonsense coming your way. As the preparation for your mind's saneness, read this.

So yeah, today I was, as mentioned, so free, I started to blindly stalk humans on interpals. Well that's entertainment you  know. Like seriously, you have to try that. Reading people's profile is sheer fun-tertainment. Even though mine is one clown-house space, I will still laugh at people's. And what happened during the time-killing event was, I found something. Or more like concluded something. Ok I'm feeling pretty intelligent right now with the use of the word 'concluded', excuse  me a moment for self-admiration...............

So what I concluded was that people around the world especially Europeans, listed numerous asian countries in their profiles as places to visit, but not my beloved nation, Malaysia. SAD case. This is REALLY SAD, because I wrote it in caps. I mean why, why people why? What's wrong with Malaysia? It's a beautiful country  with many fascinating tourist spots. Our islands are mind blowing. Is it that you people are ignorant or chose to ignore?

As a true citizen of Malaysia let me blow my country's trumpet by giving you 10 reasons why Malaysia is a MUST ( notice that caps?) visit nation.

1. Malaysians are very friendly people ( living example here!) . We smile at everyone on the streets. ( Unless it's a Monday and we're in the mood to shoot rather than smile, stay at your own risk) 

2. In Malaysia we have awesome customer service. When you are pissed we calm you down by assuring we will get back to you later, which translates I'm running away, solve your own problem! 

3. Most of our packages to islands come with fresh brochures. Fresh brochures as in, created freshly when the spot was first opened. FRESH artifact now probably, yet still FRESH.

4.  We awe tourists especially Europeans. You think you are humans, through our eyes we see aliens walking on the streets. We admire, stalk every move like a concerned parents. We CARE. 

5.Our roads are never straight. You think that's bad? NO! Roads here will teach you to focus. When you are driving on the highway, don't ever think about letting the wheel go, or keeping your hands still. Grip hard  and keep moving honey! So the good part being, when you return to your own country, you shall be a seasoned driver who could drive through all crookedness in life. ( I know you want to book your tickets already) 

6. We have food everywhere. Literally EVERYwhere. On the road, across the road, in the shop, in front of the house, you name it. But the case of recycling food materials is still going on, therefore, consumption is at your own risk. Believe, trust, that's tomorrow's hope , said a Malaysian .

7. Our journalists wrote so much about travel that the newspaper found it redundant and reduced publishing it already. Yes we lack travel columns, not because we want to write or read about politics or anything. It's merely because we have wrote too much. Please understand alright :)

8. We speak English. YES most Malaysians especially those working at tourist spots, know English. Sometimes we drag a little laaaaaa and meeehhhhhh but we speak no alien-ano . English ok?

9. Our local radio stations have awesome programmes. I assure you entertainment, but do be extra cautious with the volume hike. We are the people of love, so we speak to be 'heard'. Thanks to our RJs for alerting us before we fall asleep. 

10. This is the most important point. You don't want to miss the chance of meeting awesome people, don't you? That's why you have to visit Malaysia. People like the author for example, is rare. VERY rare (caps again!) * blushing*

HAHA it's nonsensical I know. But this post do bear a certain amount of truth, if you read between the lines. Otherwise, Malaysia is a great country. Historical places is Malacca, islands in Terengganu, and food in Penang are the icing on the cake for us. We stand equal to other Asian countries if you could see the very best of my multicultural nation. 

Renuka G 

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So serious

Ok holla back everyone. So why am I back? And that's what you have ask? NO. I have stopped answering rude questions, therefore, I shall proceed and make your eyes sore looking at the screen.

Well, this is the part of my life called, ' I don't know'. Yes that's the name of the part , not I don't know being the answer. Kapish? ( And that's the  new spanish word i've learnt which I will use fully for showing off purposes. Oh wait,it's Italian) Back on the part, I don't know. To further explain, this is where things get real blurry like you need a new spectacles or lenses because , obviously that's what you do when things get blur. No brainer! However, things here is not like the television screen or the notice boards, it's trouble to the next level. Blurriness dictates your tomorrows, future, dreams etc etc. You feel like it's blur because it's far, but trust me buddy, it's blur because it's blur.  Cliche.  I mean the cause being something else than the usual.

This is getting real confusing I guess. I feel twisted. Like literally physically twisted ( which may also be because I'm trying a yoga pose at the moment, but let's not digress).This I don't know phase, is all about worries. Worries that the expected might turn the other way round. Possibilities locked, and dilemmas shoot up. Your eyes are fine, only the reality is hazy. You get what I mean?

Point blank, I'm stuck. I'm stuck for I can't foresee the future. I'm stuck thinking it can be corrected by changing some things. Major stuck-ing screw up this is.

But I'm still happy. You know why?

Even though this is a complete nonsensical post, you stuck around till the end. *Tears of joy* Tell me who was stuck now??
Kapish?

Boo-Yah

Renuka G

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Always a thumbs-up!

Lately I'm getting more and more reasons to start worrying. Sensing a  big voice screaming to my ears, 'Be afraid Renuka!'. As creepy as that might have sounded, it is even creepier to feel it by yourself. So the mighty question being, should we worry?

Well, of course! If a red warning sign so huge as a billboard is flashed right to your face, you got to react. But not so much. Worry leads to more worry for,  we are etched with the incredible ability of magnifying problems. Therefore, be careful how much you take in.

Rationally speaking, worrying is a pure waste of energy. We have way too many things that demands our attention every single day, and they deserve the priority seats. Worrying? It's like an absolute wet blanket, dragging away the fun and good spirit without you realizing it. Day-ruiner indeed! Keep them at bay.

Next,  stop worrying because it's going to be alright. Oh c'mon, how old are you? 20? 22? 2 decades and you haven't seen those metaphorical rainbows after the rain? It's going to be alright ok? Maintain a positive outlook. Not standing by the idea of being ignorant, what I'm trying to say is, act upon the problem without cringing. You can deal with things cool and calm, that's an option. Frowning isn't a requirement nor an obligation.

And finally, let's cross the river when we come to it. This saves hell a lot of stress!

Trust me, the first step towards happiness is knowing to take control of your emotions, be it worries, depression, confusion etc etc. Only when you've accomplished that step, life morphs into a sweet journey .

Renuka G

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Let's box it off

Today was a hell of a day I should say. It's not like I'm refusing to work hard or eyeing for an easy way out, all I wanted was a little smile amidst the trials. Perhaps I'm demanding too much I'm not sure. But it's ok. If this is what awaiting, I accept it. I'm making peace with what's has been set as the meant-to-be at the moment. We cross the river when we come to it, meanwhile, I'm gonna stay positive and stay determined of my resolutions.

All well ends well. It's going to be alright.

Looking at the bright side, every hurdle is a chance to learn, so why not take it easy? Having said that, I'm not planning to not cringe or wave the white flag, I'm fighting this battle. Haha battle sounds like a real strong word uh? Well a little exaggeration doesn't hurt.

Yea I know I'm being all vague about this one, bear with me please . It's not like I don't want to be point-blank, I prefer to be mysterious here and then :p

Renuka G

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Here it comes !

Thomas A. Edison once said discontent is the first necessity of progress, well I'm at the moment discontented. Discontented with the teacher that I am because I know the teacher I can be. You may have heard me expressing my carefree attitude about whatever that had taken place during my first practicum. But hey, I'm feeling discontented at heart. Whether I can be better let time decide. Whether I can strive to be better, that's my call for progress.

Only because I have shelved an A the previous time, doesn't mean I'm gonna get lucky this time around. Things are certainly not certain to go backwards and predict the 'forward'. Simply said, anything can happen. It makes me restless. Discontented. And i believe it is screaming in head to open doors for improvement and progress. I'm not a couch potato! Or maybe I am, couldn't help it. But  work is work. Nothing feels better than basking the fruits of one's hardwork. Therefore I shall strive for the best I can possibly be.

Ok the situation is like this, once again a school from Marang, an additional project with an ETA from the US if I'm not mistaken, observing-lecturer yet to be announced, so yeah the pressure has been elevated. Can't sit here and day dream anymore, for it is about time I buckle up getting everything that has to be done right.

The 2 months out from IPG is no license to roam free, it's a wake up call instead. While the world demands only the finest of quality, playing mediocre is not an option. It's a competitive market for the teachers as well if you were to keep up with the recent updates and education policies. I'm so screwed . HAHA.

Anyway, it's going to be a fun yet stressful experience which is going to make me roll eyes saying 'kids' every single working day at SK Paya Resak. Can't wait!!!  Ok I'm kidding. I'm hell scared :p

Renuka G

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