The Turning Point

So everything has finally started. It was indeed a hectic week with 3 days of travelling back and forth to Skudai after school. And then came UPSR. All so frenzy and without a single doubt, exhausting. I was basically rushing right after school, having my snack-like-lunch in the car, stopped at the rest area for a quick face wash and attended the lectures which lasted till 7pm. Crazy times two or perhaps 5. Reaching home close to 9 at night, leaves me no time for gym or any empty idling session either. It's like a schedule resembling tuna in a can. Tightly packed. That's a sort of hyperbole I guess. But trust me, it is not an overstatement.

The whole situation is like what Piper Chapman mentioned in OITNB.

I'm indeed trying to climb Everest in flip flops. Truth be told, I have no serious plans in my head yet about this M.Ed TESL thing. I just wanna learn and use English more and more eventually, improving my proficiency. It's simply my mad love for English that made me commit to this crazy thing. Call me ambitious, call me stupid, I'm willing to surrender. There's something about learning new things that excites me and English is definitely a drug that has made me a happy addict.

Even though I could finish my masters in 2 years time, I've decided to take it slow. At least a little slow. It's better to not go all out and quit due to pressure. Slow and steady baby! I'm planning to stretch till 2.5 to 3 years. I'm working and my work demands lots of energy. By 1.10pm, I am already half dead but I'm sacrificing my cosy bed, stepping out from my comfort zone for something good. I have always believed comfort zone is a dead end, hence, the rest is justified.

Promoting :p

I have no idea how rough this M.Ed journey would be. Up to this point, I'm adapting and trying to get comfortable about being uncomfortable. I once came across a quote which says 'You can never be overdressed or overeducated.' I have zero doubts about it. I wanna fight my way up to Ph.D. Apart from that, my plans of getting my exercise science cert and baking dreams still goes on. At time moment, I just wish to minimize the many many tabs. I'm curious where this road would lead me.
Fingers crossed.

Still having all the fun in the world!

There's so much to learn. There's so much to do. Life is never going to be boring! At least for me :D







Renuka G

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Fat-fat-fit

So today's mission was to calculate body fat percentage!

When it comes to being fit, the best way of measure would be this. BMI and your weighing scale cannot speak the amount of truth your body fat percentage could tell. You may be skinny-fat, or a case like Arnold Schwarzenegger who had a whopping BMI of 30.2 ,classified obese yet
 had a very minimum body fat.

There are a few ways to calculate body fat percentage. One of it would the calculator available in numerous sites which requires your waist, wrist, hip and forearm circumference apart from your weight. The results are explained briefly in the table .

My result is at fit-level, 23%! I guess that a good news! My waist circumference used to be 27 inches and now it has reduced by 7 inches. I realized it's not all about the number on the scale. I feel stronger, more energetic and I fit better into my clothes.

My next mission is to strive for 20-21%. All I have to do is stay committed to the gym, eat healthy and get enough rest.

Definitely a happy kid today!

Renuka G

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Plans and Pursuits

Who ever expected that I would get back my hometown?

But I am not changing any part of my plan. I wanted to start the hard way and progress through it , that is exactly what I will be doing. It's a long scary 50 minutes drive from home, small school with people of golden hearts, English and Arts, Year 1 and year 6 in my schedule, and many more challenges that I choose not to overly fuss about. Perhaps the years I have spent dreaming of my future turned me into this ambitious girl that I am now. Or it could merely be the whole ' new broom sweeps well' scenario. Let time reveal.

You can place any bets on me but I have already embarked my journey. As I have always desired, I finally signed up for gym and started with light weights. My dad apparently had a shock because it was super tiring  to come home at 5 and head to gym by 5.30 everyday but, this is what I want. I dread ending up like those people who neglect working out using their work as an excuse. Your body is your best friend and the only way to stay healthy is to keep fit. Plus I feel more positive and happy after this routine. Try it! Exercising does make a huge difference in your personality and EQ.

Next, tuition. Cliche ! I already got some offers for home tuition and I will not say no. So what if I am still at the warming up stage of my job ? I can teach. 2 hours a day can't hurt, at least I choose to believe so. Plus they say, you will never know how far you can go if you don't push yourself enough. I already have home-comfort (thank god!) , the rest should be challenging or I will drown and disappear. For once I am happy teaching.  It's like my passion for English yearning to make a  difference in the lives of these kids and more kids. It's stressful to get them to understand without using a word of their mother tongue, but once you succeed the feeling is out of the world. I can go another day for that passion and the thought of me changing at least a little part of their world.

So you think I'm forgoing my baking pursuits? Hell NO! I have enquired some certificate courses for baking and pastry during the weekends. Ambitious uh? Before I pursue my masters, I want to do something simply for sheer passion and the fun of it. Fingers crossed.

This is not me boasting about my grand plans, do not misunderstand. This is about me reminding myself how badly I want to progress. I want to be better. If I ever stop that means I am the best version of me already. You know, 'best' is a myth. The world is full of knowledge, I wish to conquer as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Renuka G

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Chicken and calories

Lately I have been feeling like a sick chicken even though I'm nowhere close to a hike in temperature or a reduced appetite. Low haemoglobin count could be the culprit but I have decided to not bring that to the stand. A felon on lease always since, I'm too scared of visiting the doctor's office. Blame the medicinal smell! (Dear kids in any government schools please disregard  the previous just to save my rapport at all future encounters that may exist)

I specifically chose to describe myself as a sick chicken because I feel tired for no reason and chicken seems to be an animal that is both adorable and feeds me well in many ways. I love chickens, therefore it is an honour I gave myself via comparison.  

Being home and attempting to cook various dishes would make  me prone to weight gain on daily basis. Hence, this time once again I'm abiding by my fabfitfun (that's the name of a celebrity blog I stole) principle which makes exercising a daily routine. Prickly since it has been close to two months that I was busy pampering my body, it seems to rebel against the calorie burning efforts leaving me like a sick chicken right after a 15 secs-plank. Today I was even about to fall asleep on the mat! Geez!

Why am I complaining? 

Just so it sticks better to my brain as I  rewrote the  scenario. 

Quality workout is crucial because my meals seem to be the richest of quality and, generous of calories. I can't afford to lay on the floor or lay eggs on the yoga mat. If I don't sweat it out enough then I can live on smoothies for the rest of the month! 

Brain, you heard that? Happy? Or you still want that cheesy sphagetti?

Game face on!

Renuka G 

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Le Memoire Night 2014

classic!

Just a few more pit-stops before I bid farewell to Terengganu. Whatever the future holds, I hope I will always have the most precious bunch of friends that I have found here by my side.

I can't exactly say if it was a rough road or a pleasant journey, but it was made better by all the people I met along the way. 

Without the experiences and lessons, I wouldn't have been who I am today. Thank you for the best moments and cheers to more!

With love,

Renuka G

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23rd and moving on

Old habits die hard. The habits that we pick up at some point of time once fossilized within us won't leave us. Just like a tattoo, we take them everywhere we go, for as long as we live. I think I am not alone. We all have at least one habit that irks  us so much but has become a rock that won't budge from our daily lives. Be it a common nail-biting routine or an embarrassing stalking-the-past agenda, we all had at some moment got sick of it and became determined to quit though it never was the reality the next moment.

Since I have just turned 23 officially, I am here to talk about habits, habits that I want to wrap up and dispose before they could define me. As we grow, our curiosity grows with us. I guess. The sudden need for details and explanations and justifications drive us crazy. After-all we are all humans chasing behind the truth. To satisfy ourselves, we often develop some silly habits that mounts to nothing but more heartache and mental-torture. Yes I just wrote mental-'torture', you read it right!

Making a guess, we humans like to calculate our losses and gains in some ways just to balance the equation or even better feel good about the gains. If we find out that a person who rejected us having a tough time, we feel like a thousand dollar deposited into our account. Something like that. But the truth being, there is no explicit gain for any party in this situation. The next day we are all going to move on with our work and the silly habit of stalking become a small dessert during lunch. And that was just an example.

My point is simple, I think the ugliest habits most people especially girls suffer from is stalking. The root of the cause being their inability to let go. In my life, as years passed I did let go of some things and people. However, as new people walk out the door, the curiosity kicks in again. I do not wish to be curios of people and their behaviour anymore. In fact I am embarrassed of this habit. The other day someone wise advised me to not do or see things that will hurt myself. It was indeed eye-opening. I owe it all to that person.

I think it is about time I focus on my future. I have so much ahead of me. Having a degree won't do my ambition any justice. I am far behind I should say. Masters would be a long hectic journey, pursuing my passion for baking and make-up would be another. Then I want to travel around the world, then I want to this, I want to do that. I do not want some ugly habits to crack me and slow me down because everything somehow will bruise your self-esteem and that definitely makes a huge difference. Don't think it is fair to put my dreams at stake for some silly loss-gain balance.

Apart from all the seriousness, I had an awesome birthday. Thank you to my dad who has always been sweet, for that person who called and wished at 12, my sister and my sisters in IPG who made my day extra special. God I am gonna leave Terengganu with so much good memories and a handful of great friends!

Renuka G

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Beauty I say..

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, I could not agree more. Beauty is something very subjective and I will never find the perfect definition for the word but I would let you know my take on it. Some people believe inner beauty compliments the physical looks. Some claim beauty to be solely judged on either one, mostly agreeing that to be physical looks. I think we have passed those times where we measure beauty by the fullness of the lips and sharpness of the nose and how defined the curls and curves are. Physical looks just soothes the eyes, not your ears or your mind.

Not to offend the drop-dead-beautiful-looking girls out there, you girls are perfect in a way. In my reality though, I  feel what one's looks like is a bonus to one's personality. Simply put, inner beauty before the outer. I have been called ugly, fat and more absurd things in my life, I do not care if it is true. My point is, of all the people I have met the wonderful bunch are not beauty queens or girls who could get ten winks only by  swaying their hair.

As much as I want to condemn some men for selecting partner by their looks, I think the choice is personal. If you prefer to live with a high-heeled mannequin, that is your decision. But my heart goes out to man who sees a girl inside-out. To live with a good face and good mind and good heart are three completely different things. If you ask me, a good mind and heart would walk you a lifetime while the skin sags and the hair greys as time eats you up.

I have heard some ridiculous remarks like physical beauty would give one beautiful kids, cannot be changed, get everybody's attention etc etc. Like, give me second! It is a simple comparison to an orange. As much as it looks good to eat a sliced-orange with the skin-on compared to a peeled one, somehow the skin is not going into your system. Once again, it soothes your eyes but somehow at some point it serves no purpose.

Well, point blank I do understand nobody wants to spend their entire lives looking at something so dull and less pretty. Trust me, we all want a little glow. However, inner beauty without a doubt is the priority! Others are bonus. Just like a good book with a well-illustrated cover, the person you are should overpower youself more than your gorgeous hair and hour-glass curves (which is the ultimate stereotype surely), and that is the real deal!

With that said, I would like to give a big hug and wish a rain of glitters for the girls and ladies and women who are balancing the equation right and for the wise men who own them! Kindly accept this sugar-sprinkled doughnut :D

Nothing beats a smile uh though it looks so retard-like?!

Renuka G

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Sunshine and Rainbows

I don't think you need thousand moments to tell you if you are happy and a thousand and one more to tell if you are a sad soul. All we actually need is to count our blessings. Sometimes we expect too much from people but we fail to realize they have their moods and rough days too. We think life is a straight line build with tons of roses and all sweet things but we miss the roughness of the surface underneath.

Count your blessings.

If yesterday meant something, it sure did. Somehow someday it might repeat, who knows? If today was tough, that's alright, tomorrow it will be past already. Be happy ! It is all in the mind. Smiles are prettier than a frown and nothing compares a good laugh at the end of any day of your life.

There is just so much to be thankful for. Never brood around sadness or self-pity too much, it might become a habit. Happy pills are addictive, blessings are wonderful. So remember,you are your choices!

Life is good for me, how about you?

Renuka G

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The go-to strategy

I had been busy for a couple of months in which I felt nothing but stress. The simplicity of my thoughts and the tamed curiosity held me so close to my responsibilities at hand. Had I not enjoyed those moments?  It was like dating loneliness so deeply that I even desire to take it home with me. Now that the tasks at hand are framed aside, thoughts are wandering, literally everywhere!

I know this means trouble. The return of the whys and why-nots are messing with my head and hey, you two are not welcomed! This is real, my thoughts just unlocked themselves and they seem to be enjoying the limitless space they could occupy while I sit here ranting about the tragedy.

Sometime ago I decided to not commit into a relationship and, be comfortable with the love that I'm blessed with from the people who are already in  my life. Well, so far I had not lost the battle. But you know thoughts, they can be extremely annoying and persuasive in convincing you something is wrong and something is lacking. It is like a mosquito bite-situation. You scratch, you are bruised, you resist, head explodes! Similarly, thoughts are messing with my self-control like a boss as I sit on ehow figuring how to make a padlock to keep my self-control intact. Just shoot me now!

I wonder how they do it :p

Reality check, self-control requires some positive thoughts to counter attack the frenzy thoughts. Here comes the role of ambitions! I do not know about the world population and their views but for me, ambitions are to be fulfilled prior big commitments like marriage especially. So why should I rush? Don't I have too much time to wait for Prince charming? Plus, loneliness seem to get along pretty well with me, judging based on its hesitance to leave me of course. Again, why rush?

my life is colourful still, so why bother ?!! :D

My principle of life is pretty simple. I do not care about fame and recognition, I just want to learn. Learn about everything that mesmerizes me, tickles my curiosity and interests me. Commitments may not stop me from learning, but it does change some things. Call me selfish, I don't think it is risk worth thinking.

Let the random thoughts use up its last bullet, I will be holding tight to my passion and ambitions. My heart is safe in a space surrounded with positivity and just enough ego to keep me going.

Renuka G

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Just live!

I no longer believe life has to be fair what-so-ever. It happens to every single one of us. We cannot resist nor demand reasons behind things that takes place. It is the way it goes. Sometimes it's like a cool breeze ,at times it's a bad storm. Embrace it either way. Put behind those raging emotions and curiosity, just let it happen to you. You will be thankful someday for all the experiences.

I'm thankful for everything that I have been through

Life does not have to be fair always. If you want to grow, learn to accept that fact. Keep walking, no matter what happens, keep going. Nothing is worth stopping for. Life is too short for pauses, I guess. And life is too precious that you can't weigh its fairness on a lever.

Enjoy the mystery, ignore the what-ifs, don't look to the right, don't look to the left, just live! You know you are AMAZING!

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Wisdom-ized

Somewhere between the soaring spirit and rusting memories I realize I have grown so much. You might be praying that I have expanded sideways or floating like a balloon with a melting chocolate in my hand, but sorry you are wrong. I have grown as in, I have matured in my ways of thinking and actions. As cheesy as that I might have sounded, it is no tall-tale.

Below is a prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)

It's not like I have been sitting here praying each and every single day. In fact, I just found this today. I thought it bore so much truth to the extent where I can't help but sharing. 

These are the only crucial things we have to know isn't it? The ability to accept some things we can't change so we can live the next day with a peaceful-mind. The courage to change those which are within our means, and finally to recognize which is what. Not everything in life are reversible. If we have the rewind and pause buttons we have always desired, perfect won't be superficial anymore. Remember, life is no media player. It is a ground for strong contenders to battle it out. But strong isn't all about flexing muscles and boxing hurdles in it's face, endurance is a synonym to go to in some situations. However, when an opportunity to flip things over arise, be sure to muster the courage giving it a try. Don't be hasty, stop being too persistent, choose wisely what to endure and which one to change.

Too many things happen often leaving us confused about what's the best for us, that's very true. Therefore learn to put emotions behind and think with your head. Emotions are the worst dictator of all.. It will mess with your beliefs and leak your tear glands and make your hair fall as soon as you begin prioritizing it. Do you fancy that? Like seriously? Think about it. 

Bottomline, if you want to be matured my advice is, master the mentioned three, the ability to endure, change and recognize which is what. Try to reason the good behind a bad occurrence, pursue a dream if there's still a chance and last but not least, accept success and failure as the part and parcel of life.

No man lives in a paradise, but nobody said he can't create one.

Renuka G

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You, I know

You know that one quality capable of juxtaposing life next to heaven? It is the ability to endure. The ability of falling on your face yet standing up with both feet firm on the ground. The ability to not let things or emotions dictate you in a way that it cripples you. That quality, it is rare!  If you think you have got it, tears and sorrow must be your long-lost friends. Smiles and laughter must be the new life companions you flaunt. There has begun the awesomeness of yourself and your life. Nah-ah this is not a state you achieve by forsaking someone else’s happiness or taking into your hand decisions to be made only by God. You, the power of evil, I command thee leave by all means. You will never understand ‘good’. I’m only speaking on behalf of good people who could box’em problems and come out strong at the end. Those who know from  which angle to face problem and from which to kick them to grave. Crying and sulking are for high-school kids. When you have passed that stage it is all about a few drops of tears and moving forward towards a solution. This type of people I respect.  Cheers to you if you’re in!

Well, I’m close I bet and I’ll join the awesome-rockers-of-life, soon. Real soon J

Renuka G

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Always a thumbs-up!

Lately I'm getting more and more reasons to start worrying. Sensing a  big voice screaming to my ears, 'Be afraid Renuka!'. As creepy as that might have sounded, it is even creepier to feel it by yourself. So the mighty question being, should we worry?

Well, of course! If a red warning sign so huge as a billboard is flashed right to your face, you got to react. But not so much. Worry leads to more worry for,  we are etched with the incredible ability of magnifying problems. Therefore, be careful how much you take in.

Rationally speaking, worrying is a pure waste of energy. We have way too many things that demands our attention every single day, and they deserve the priority seats. Worrying? It's like an absolute wet blanket, dragging away the fun and good spirit without you realizing it. Day-ruiner indeed! Keep them at bay.

Next,  stop worrying because it's going to be alright. Oh c'mon, how old are you? 20? 22? 2 decades and you haven't seen those metaphorical rainbows after the rain? It's going to be alright ok? Maintain a positive outlook. Not standing by the idea of being ignorant, what I'm trying to say is, act upon the problem without cringing. You can deal with things cool and calm, that's an option. Frowning isn't a requirement nor an obligation.

And finally, let's cross the river when we come to it. This saves hell a lot of stress!

Trust me, the first step towards happiness is knowing to take control of your emotions, be it worries, depression, confusion etc etc. Only when you've accomplished that step, life morphs into a sweet journey .

Renuka G

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