Overly-Attached Demands

This is the phase of my life called 'To survive is to learn'. I have grasped a tremendous amount of things for the past few weeks. It was an opportunity to walk out from my comfort zone to let things that I've never experienced before touch me. At first just like any other typical control-freak, I resisted. I was full of anger, felt like a scapegoat of the inescapable event, perturbed to an extent where each bit of my patience only morphed into tears and over-attachment to my bed. It was difficult.

The occurrence which started with a silent-cry soon turned into a loud meltdown, somehow gathering helping hands that came for rescue. I guess this is just how things work, it has to get worse before getting better. And the latter finally took place. I realized it was not all that tough afterall. I was not alone. The problem was me. It was me who stubbornly refuse to come out from my comfort zone. It was me who told myself, this should not have happened when I was expected to simply adapt and learn. 

I have always had the thirst to learn, but why did I over-react on this one?  

FEAR. The fear of failure. As much as I'm curious about learning, I'm also scared of  failing. Over the years I have developed within myself an imaginary wall which allows no excuse for failure. However, what I missed was, to learn you have to move away from your comfort zone. To learn one has to make mistakes. To learn one has to be prepared to fail. Instead of embracing the mysterious blessing, I treated the situation like a battalion of enemies launching attack after another onto me. That was then.

I feel alright now. Things seem to be under control while I steal the chances to learn and be better. Here I realized one important fact, the bitter pill to swallow is what will make you recover. Recover from your ego, high-demands and unrealistic expectations on how things should be/go.

Let loose!

Renuka G

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A sip of knowledge

I believe one thing you have to do especially while you are still young and commitment-free is, to jump at every opportunity to learn. Three weeks at the new school has taught me so much. Be it in terms of professional development or self-empowerment , it has been a great place to explore new things. I did not deny the stress and the tiresome journey nor I wish to sugar-coat everything that is taking place. I am merely stating this profession is not what it looks like on the surface. There is so much more in being a teacher and I am taking baby-steps every single day.

It is obvious that the teachers at school are seasoned with experience and knowledge. Their class control is close to perfection while mine is a huge mess still when it comes to lower primary classes. I am excited to learn and to improve and to experiment. These are what makes days interesting. I did not sign up for a   9 to 5 job in front of a PC. I am a teacher. That is what I am and that is what I shall remain, at least for another few years.

Renuka G

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Plans and Pursuits

Who ever expected that I would get back my hometown?

But I am not changing any part of my plan. I wanted to start the hard way and progress through it , that is exactly what I will be doing. It's a long scary 50 minutes drive from home, small school with people of golden hearts, English and Arts, Year 1 and year 6 in my schedule, and many more challenges that I choose not to overly fuss about. Perhaps the years I have spent dreaming of my future turned me into this ambitious girl that I am now. Or it could merely be the whole ' new broom sweeps well' scenario. Let time reveal.

You can place any bets on me but I have already embarked my journey. As I have always desired, I finally signed up for gym and started with light weights. My dad apparently had a shock because it was super tiring  to come home at 5 and head to gym by 5.30 everyday but, this is what I want. I dread ending up like those people who neglect working out using their work as an excuse. Your body is your best friend and the only way to stay healthy is to keep fit. Plus I feel more positive and happy after this routine. Try it! Exercising does make a huge difference in your personality and EQ.

Next, tuition. Cliche ! I already got some offers for home tuition and I will not say no. So what if I am still at the warming up stage of my job ? I can teach. 2 hours a day can't hurt, at least I choose to believe so. Plus they say, you will never know how far you can go if you don't push yourself enough. I already have home-comfort (thank god!) , the rest should be challenging or I will drown and disappear. For once I am happy teaching.  It's like my passion for English yearning to make a  difference in the lives of these kids and more kids. It's stressful to get them to understand without using a word of their mother tongue, but once you succeed the feeling is out of the world. I can go another day for that passion and the thought of me changing at least a little part of their world.

So you think I'm forgoing my baking pursuits? Hell NO! I have enquired some certificate courses for baking and pastry during the weekends. Ambitious uh? Before I pursue my masters, I want to do something simply for sheer passion and the fun of it. Fingers crossed.

This is not me boasting about my grand plans, do not misunderstand. This is about me reminding myself how badly I want to progress. I want to be better. If I ever stop that means I am the best version of me already. You know, 'best' is a myth. The world is full of knowledge, I wish to conquer as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Renuka G

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Street-Peeper

One thing that I enjoy occasionally is watching people. I believe a way to learn apart from books is through people, random strangers we come across. You may develop leadership skills by reading Stephen Covey's or make your life better with a copy of Spencer Johnson's, however, what you will truly value is the visual experience of watching a totally random man doing an act which you thought impossible or you felt ignorant about.  The theory behind is pretty simple. If one man can do it, so does another.

I was at the hospital the other day to get done my medical report and I saw so many things, so many people. It was such an interesting day after weeks  of staying home. Ok I did go out, but it was not as significant as this experience. Be it the man who was carrying a sweet wrapper till he found a rubbish bin or the lady at the registration counter who was greeting everyone with a smile, they all have something to teach. Who are these people? Only known as humans to me they managed to show the good deeds we can do every day. Do I need to know them? Or add them on social networks to understand their lives? I don't think so.

Good things done do not need a justification. We just need to question ourselves if we are capable of following those acts. The answer is yes. Prickly though, we are curious of the wrong things. We try to severe what we see with reasons. Convincing ourselves, the lady was smiling because that's her job and the man was responsible because  he was being watched. At the end, we learn nothing. So whose loss is that?

To be better, watch strangers. Pick up good manners and simple act of kindness. Stop passing biased judgements only to prove yourself right. The world is full of lessons for those who cherish every encounter and experience. They will never stop learning and they know there's always more knowledge to chase after.

Stop being a lazy dreamer, open your eyes to the people around you instead.

Renuka G

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Thinking in/of Progress

How do you know who's the right one for you? And just like that how do you know which is the right place to kick start your career?

I had battled the mind-numbing thoughts before, for a few times actually. By battled I mean, I did decide on the best but now that they handed me a second chance to make changes I am left confused. For a long time I have gripped strongly to the belief of heading wherever life takes me. In fact, I made the shelved choices based of the mentioned belief. Never in my life I thought I would leave INTI, and embarassingly  I didn't even know where Terengganu is in the map of Malaysia till I get the offer letter. However, that is exactly where life took me and 5 years went by just like that and here I am a degree holder baffled by thoughts of the future.

The conflict is between money and progress. Which one would you choose?

Would you rather go somewhere far, forgoing most comfort and progress settling for the pot of gold or be happy somewhere you could get the comfort, advance academically at ease but for a much lower pay? I am still weighing both choices, the pros and cons. Perhaps I won't find the answer , or there is no answer after all. Sometimes we just have to close our eyes, stop questioning so much, take a leap of faith and make the best of what life hands us. Once again as I mentioned earlier, wherever life takes me!

As I am writing this it is getting clearer, I do not need to over think this. Selangor or Sabah, I will somehow make it work. Those with dreams and ambitions do not fancy excuses people say. I will get my masters, pursue my baking dreams and be the best version of me without calculating the time I have to sacrifice and invest.

It's gonna be alright!

Renuka G

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Beauty I say..

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, I could not agree more. Beauty is something very subjective and I will never find the perfect definition for the word but I would let you know my take on it. Some people believe inner beauty compliments the physical looks. Some claim beauty to be solely judged on either one, mostly agreeing that to be physical looks. I think we have passed those times where we measure beauty by the fullness of the lips and sharpness of the nose and how defined the curls and curves are. Physical looks just soothes the eyes, not your ears or your mind.

Not to offend the drop-dead-beautiful-looking girls out there, you girls are perfect in a way. In my reality though, I  feel what one's looks like is a bonus to one's personality. Simply put, inner beauty before the outer. I have been called ugly, fat and more absurd things in my life, I do not care if it is true. My point is, of all the people I have met the wonderful bunch are not beauty queens or girls who could get ten winks only by  swaying their hair.

As much as I want to condemn some men for selecting partner by their looks, I think the choice is personal. If you prefer to live with a high-heeled mannequin, that is your decision. But my heart goes out to man who sees a girl inside-out. To live with a good face and good mind and good heart are three completely different things. If you ask me, a good mind and heart would walk you a lifetime while the skin sags and the hair greys as time eats you up.

I have heard some ridiculous remarks like physical beauty would give one beautiful kids, cannot be changed, get everybody's attention etc etc. Like, give me second! It is a simple comparison to an orange. As much as it looks good to eat a sliced-orange with the skin-on compared to a peeled one, somehow the skin is not going into your system. Once again, it soothes your eyes but somehow at some point it serves no purpose.

Well, point blank I do understand nobody wants to spend their entire lives looking at something so dull and less pretty. Trust me, we all want a little glow. However, inner beauty without a doubt is the priority! Others are bonus. Just like a good book with a well-illustrated cover, the person you are should overpower youself more than your gorgeous hair and hour-glass curves (which is the ultimate stereotype surely), and that is the real deal!

With that said, I would like to give a big hug and wish a rain of glitters for the girls and ladies and women who are balancing the equation right and for the wise men who own them! Kindly accept this sugar-sprinkled doughnut :D

Nothing beats a smile uh though it looks so retard-like?!

Renuka G

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The go-to strategy

I had been busy for a couple of months in which I felt nothing but stress. The simplicity of my thoughts and the tamed curiosity held me so close to my responsibilities at hand. Had I not enjoyed those moments?  It was like dating loneliness so deeply that I even desire to take it home with me. Now that the tasks at hand are framed aside, thoughts are wandering, literally everywhere!

I know this means trouble. The return of the whys and why-nots are messing with my head and hey, you two are not welcomed! This is real, my thoughts just unlocked themselves and they seem to be enjoying the limitless space they could occupy while I sit here ranting about the tragedy.

Sometime ago I decided to not commit into a relationship and, be comfortable with the love that I'm blessed with from the people who are already in  my life. Well, so far I had not lost the battle. But you know thoughts, they can be extremely annoying and persuasive in convincing you something is wrong and something is lacking. It is like a mosquito bite-situation. You scratch, you are bruised, you resist, head explodes! Similarly, thoughts are messing with my self-control like a boss as I sit on ehow figuring how to make a padlock to keep my self-control intact. Just shoot me now!

I wonder how they do it :p

Reality check, self-control requires some positive thoughts to counter attack the frenzy thoughts. Here comes the role of ambitions! I do not know about the world population and their views but for me, ambitions are to be fulfilled prior big commitments like marriage especially. So why should I rush? Don't I have too much time to wait for Prince charming? Plus, loneliness seem to get along pretty well with me, judging based on its hesitance to leave me of course. Again, why rush?

my life is colourful still, so why bother ?!! :D

My principle of life is pretty simple. I do not care about fame and recognition, I just want to learn. Learn about everything that mesmerizes me, tickles my curiosity and interests me. Commitments may not stop me from learning, but it does change some things. Call me selfish, I don't think it is risk worth thinking.

Let the random thoughts use up its last bullet, I will be holding tight to my passion and ambitions. My heart is safe in a space surrounded with positivity and just enough ego to keep me going.

Renuka G

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Sinned-Saint

I have heard of people going on a journey of self-discovery and coming back confused still. I'm different though. I know too much. I know too much about my own self that my inner soul dies to shoot me every time I expose that profound knowledge . Anyone on the same boat?  I can recognize my weakness and strengths, my positive side and the little devil within me, also my ego which measures bigger than my head. YES I just admitted that, stop rubbing your eyes.

I wish I hadn't known this much. It's like committing a crime consciously. It's like making a mistake fully realizing it is one. I can't put it any simpler, unless you are a kid!

The one bad thing about the mentioned is, your instincts telling you what's next. I can predict my actions and it gets creepy over the time. It's like a cliche. Every situation is a no-brainer for I know how I will react to it. It can be so accurate that sometimes I wish I could stop the obvious. More often than a not, I ignore it. You feel me?  Perhaps it is my plain belief of self-discovery being, knowing who you are and accepting fully the outcome. So obviously I'm not innocent. 

Knowing and accepting is a far concept from changing and preventing. I have known and accepted the negative and positive sides of myself, like a boss. However, as far as the other two are concerned, I'm helpless. Or maybe I choose not to help myself. Hey, I am no saint, and I don't fancy being one. The world is no place for the purest of hearts and cleanest of minds. If you think it is, perhaps you are delusional or in denial. You need help, so go to mommy! Plus, it's always better to stand in between two extremes. There's no need to be too good or too cruel. Hence, I feel some emotions are better shown and revealed without guilt. Even though I can't control the aftereffect.

You can call me wrong, you can say I'm ugly and speak everything you wish about my opinions but it doesn't matter. It feels ok for me. I don't wish to sugarcoat the reality of life. My words speak the truth I have learnt, which I assume is valid from my perspective. Too good could land you in a 'too bad'-situation. Agree?

Keeping everything aside, let's just admit this one thing, we all claim we know what is right and what is wrong, so how did the world became so polluted of broken hearts and hurtful words? 

Of course I can't blame the cat sleeping on my shoe shelf, isn't it? It's us! Humans! I don't know what had happened to the world, including myself that I feel mistakes are in the recent times done rather consciously than unconsciously. Perhaps our morals are descending with the drastically increasing amount of stress of the ever-busy world. We don't mind hurting because we have been hurt. We are trying so hard to make the unfair life fair and equalize everyone else's equations like it's at all possible. I know I'm failing, hope you will realize it too. But will we ever stop trying? That's a point to ponder!

(God, I wish I hadn't known this much. Shoot me please! )

Renuka G

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Wisdom-ized

Somewhere between the soaring spirit and rusting memories I realize I have grown so much. You might be praying that I have expanded sideways or floating like a balloon with a melting chocolate in my hand, but sorry you are wrong. I have grown as in, I have matured in my ways of thinking and actions. As cheesy as that I might have sounded, it is no tall-tale.

Below is a prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)

It's not like I have been sitting here praying each and every single day. In fact, I just found this today. I thought it bore so much truth to the extent where I can't help but sharing. 

These are the only crucial things we have to know isn't it? The ability to accept some things we can't change so we can live the next day with a peaceful-mind. The courage to change those which are within our means, and finally to recognize which is what. Not everything in life are reversible. If we have the rewind and pause buttons we have always desired, perfect won't be superficial anymore. Remember, life is no media player. It is a ground for strong contenders to battle it out. But strong isn't all about flexing muscles and boxing hurdles in it's face, endurance is a synonym to go to in some situations. However, when an opportunity to flip things over arise, be sure to muster the courage giving it a try. Don't be hasty, stop being too persistent, choose wisely what to endure and which one to change.

Too many things happen often leaving us confused about what's the best for us, that's very true. Therefore learn to put emotions behind and think with your head. Emotions are the worst dictator of all.. It will mess with your beliefs and leak your tear glands and make your hair fall as soon as you begin prioritizing it. Do you fancy that? Like seriously? Think about it. 

Bottomline, if you want to be matured my advice is, master the mentioned three, the ability to endure, change and recognize which is what. Try to reason the good behind a bad occurrence, pursue a dream if there's still a chance and last but not least, accept success and failure as the part and parcel of life.

No man lives in a paradise, but nobody said he can't create one.

Renuka G

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Resolutions?

Holla 2014! This is my first post of the horse year. Let's talk about resolutions. Resolutions, in my point of view, are the list of things or lies we convince ourselves with, to live better and feel better. However, since to live better one needs to keep up with it, to feel better might be the closer truth.   No? You are living in denial, buttercup! Resolutions are the extravagant ideas running in our heads, sometimes close to fantasy, that are formed in the so called curtain-rising excitement.

Having condemned it pretty badly, I of course did not make any. The reason being, I just wanna live. We make decisions every single day. If it's a good one, we change our lives for the better. There's no magic power to a four digit number to bring in determination, unless you choose it to be so. New Year is just another day.

Being a good street peeper, I realize most people make resolutions about their relationships, work and physiques. The mentioned reflects the most common issues everyone faces, like every single day. 2014 or 2015 or even 2020 can't help if your resolutions are mere handwritten list of improvisations-planned. One thing about hopping on a trend is that, it fades with time. Same goes with new year resolutions. Typical trend which will be chucked at a corner in just weeks time. First of all, do you even remember the resolution or resolutions you made the previous year?

The whole thing is like going into the hunger games with all the weapons yet dying because you don't know how they work. Only consolation being, the thought. But to think again, does it even matter? I mean the thought. Dreams without an action I guess. Or wait, people do work on their resolutions don't they? Like I previously said, for a period of time, till old habits start kicking in. They die hard honey! 1st day of the year is no magic date to throw in determination.

Come back to reality. Instead of dreaming big about going to work on time, eating healthy and spending more time with family, learn determination first. Any day can turn you into a new leaf as long as you are strong about something you wish. True strength comes from the heart and a healthy mind, not by looking at firework displays or through a liquored midnight.

Bottom line, 2014 is just another 2013, 2012 or any other past years. It's the whole roller coaster thingy once again. The big question is, what you wanna do differently this time? Don't over-think about resolutions. You know what you want. So make decisions as you go, as you need. Your first January can be even today or tomorrow. No one has missed the chance to relive the wrong choices YET.

Happy New Year fellas!

Renuka G

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Unwrapped

First and foremost, I wanna send a warning to tears! If at all you are reading, please be selective of situations to flow out from my eyes. I'm sick of dealing with mascara mess and wet cheeks. Plus waterproof make-ups don't sell cheap ok? Considering all that, and also this being a closure post of 2013, I would like you to by all means stay away!

Now back to my hopefully-existing-readers.

I finally got my exam results of the 6th semester. Happy and satisfied! But that's just about exams . On a bigger picture, 2013 was a tough tough year in which I put up a tough tough front. Well I have become pretty good at masking emotions over the years. Practice makes perfect they say. Though there were hundreds of hurdles and heart wrenching moments, everything somehow fell into place at the end.  No problem is eternal. And having said that, I definitely have to thank the man above us for all his blessings.

Leaving pain and hurt aside, let's talk about the happy things of 2013. I found a handful of amazing people to call friends. People come and go, that's one bunch. But there are those who come with lots of care and love and stays with all their heart. The rare bunch. I'm glad a few crossed my path. I hope they will be a part of my life forever . Believe me, forever is a strong word. I won't use it if I don't mean it.

Apart from all mentioned, 2013 changed me into someone who's proud to be who I am. Some people are born to love themselves, some takes time to appreciate who they are while the rest are all wannabes of different kinds. I was once a member of the wannabe team, not anymore though. I think I'm special. Ok that might have sounded too much like a self-obssessed maniac, but hey,  everyone is special. Hence, me insisting my share is purely benign. I'm happy to wake up in the morning being myself and satisfied going to bed as Renuka and nobody else. Sometimes, being a typical human that I am, negative thoughts do mess with my head of who I could have been and why I'm not Mary or Jane. But such thoughts do not last and 'that' characters do not exist :D

In my perspective, I strongly feel the most important thing in life is keeping one's emotions intact. I'm progressing well in mastering it, thus, I was very much enduring and strong this year. Glad no extremely wrong decisions were made , convinced life comes with numerous lessons, and proud another river had been crossed.

All in all, 2013 basically wrapped up fine. Or shall I say wrapping up fine?

2014 will be a whole new chapter itself. Can't wait to be curiously turning the pages.

Renuka G

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The thin line

I love burning bridges in the heat of the moment, and that's an ugly truth of mine. Well there's enough space to criticize my morals based on what has been stated but I waive that chance to those nitpickers out there.

Whether it's a weakness of mine or my character, I'm usually inclined to react to situations especially dramas in a very hasty manner . Just as much as I love to end them, I love to end them fast. Hence,  all points justified. 

What happens when someone lights a fire beneath your feet? You jump and you run . In this case we shall put it as, we quarrel and we part, or yes, we burn the bridges . It's just too typical even to deny it. 

Guilty as charged.

The funny scenario though is, at some point I find this bizarre desire to build those bridges again. Like apologizing for something I'm not solely to be blamed for ? Oh yea exactly that! It is certainly not the same with all cases, yet some drains my sympathy . Deep inside I wish I was not a typical human . (The next line might make me sound like a person with split personality disorder , so embrace yourself . )

I hate to burn bridges.

Renuka G or the other :p

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Take a breather

There comes a point in our lives that we close one eye to some things around us. We stop caring who's watching, we stop observing who is doing what, we stop thinking of the what ifs and what nots. We just live life. We throw our hands in the air and surrender.

Not because we are weak. Not because we are afraid. For the reason we choose to take a breather and care less than we used to.

Life begins the moment one realizes both his ability and limitations he has upon his being. He knows where to shine and where to shrug. In actuality, very few things needs our utmost attention. We humans however, have this inborn attitude of dipping a little bit everywhere and anywhere which at the end of the day gets us nowhere.

Sometimes, all we have to do is sit back, and breathe. Too many voices are 'talking'! Too much noise all around! But nothing is 'saying' a thing.

Renuka G

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Burning Bridges

Whatever that leaves you is for the good, that's my dad's way of confronting life. He always advises me to not bother if anything goes off my grip because it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I look at past relationships, an old friend perhaps, thinking maybe things would have been different if I did it another way. Delusional tale. It's like meddling with a broken wheel. Only because it rolls when I spin it, doesn't mean it's gonna roll by itself in the long run. It will stop somewhere along the way, maybe so worse that it can't be fixed anymore. Just like that, when something or someone begin to show you the signs, keep the door wide open. Have faith because the same door will bring in the better sometime later

Many people waste too much time brooding over whether to burn or not burn the bridge. They carry with them too much doubts and what ifs that are not necessarily worth it. They cling too hard and handcuff themselves to the root of their issues hence refusing to let go the all-set-to-go baggage. Yes baggage. This baggage will soon turn into their biggest burden. Dragging a baggage might seem like strong act done with pride but remember, the farther you drag, the horrendous it gets.

Whatever that leaves you is for the good. Feel free to wave goodbye. Lets not be overly imaginative thinking it could work or it would have worked. Those who wants to stay will stay no matter what and those who wants to leave won't stop even if you put up an electric fence against it.

It's a beautiful life, spend it with those who wants to stay. And there's always a corner for baggages, always JUST a corner.

Till next time,

Renuka G

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Silver linings, not playbook.

Every cloud has a silver lining. But not all silver linings could make the dark cloud gloom any less. With that said, there's more to failures than small victories, and there's more to life than sheer happiness. Everything is reciprocal, you do the math.

Renuka G

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Stability.

This is the voice of experience speaking, so you better listen. If you ever think of becoming a teacher, take an emotional stability test. In case you fail, start promoting yourself else where. You have been warned! Don't become another me.

by my year 3 kids ..gingerbread man

I'm capable of blanketing my emotions pretty well. Oh screw being humble! I'm darn good at that. However when your heart crumbles, it crumbles no matter what. Whether you hide it or whether you flash it on a billboard, it doesn't matter anymore. Yup I'm having this whole sinking in the ocean kind of feeling thinking of leaving the current school I'm doing my practicals at in two weeks time.

The year 2 kids under my supervision on some merdeka event

At first when it all started, I was like man, it's gonna be a hell of a pain. Since I dislike kids generally, except those who are exceptionally smart, good or of course cute, I wasn't shading under the rainbow. I had a downpour with thunder and storm instead due to excessive shouting and explaining and planning and assessing. Now though, I'm feeling, Ugh I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like a rock tied to my foot, making it heavier to drag myself out from these kids. Yes things got a little creepy when they started to hunt me on Facebook, check through my phone, smell my hair and know exactly when I wore what, but they made my days better. I mean some days better. The rest were awful as usual.

A Raya card which came out of no where :p

God I'm going to miss my Year 3 kids. And being a vain pot, I know they will miss me too considering all the chocolates and lollipops I have bribed them with *winks*

Renuka G

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So serious

Ok holla back everyone. So why am I back? And that's what you have ask? NO. I have stopped answering rude questions, therefore, I shall proceed and make your eyes sore looking at the screen.

Well, this is the part of my life called, ' I don't know'. Yes that's the name of the part , not I don't know being the answer. Kapish? ( And that's the  new spanish word i've learnt which I will use fully for showing off purposes. Oh wait,it's Italian) Back on the part, I don't know. To further explain, this is where things get real blurry like you need a new spectacles or lenses because , obviously that's what you do when things get blur. No brainer! However, things here is not like the television screen or the notice boards, it's trouble to the next level. Blurriness dictates your tomorrows, future, dreams etc etc. You feel like it's blur because it's far, but trust me buddy, it's blur because it's blur.  Cliche.  I mean the cause being something else than the usual.

This is getting real confusing I guess. I feel twisted. Like literally physically twisted ( which may also be because I'm trying a yoga pose at the moment, but let's not digress).This I don't know phase, is all about worries. Worries that the expected might turn the other way round. Possibilities locked, and dilemmas shoot up. Your eyes are fine, only the reality is hazy. You get what I mean?

Point blank, I'm stuck. I'm stuck for I can't foresee the future. I'm stuck thinking it can be corrected by changing some things. Major stuck-ing screw up this is.

But I'm still happy. You know why?

Even though this is a complete nonsensical post, you stuck around till the end. *Tears of joy* Tell me who was stuck now??
Kapish?

Boo-Yah

Renuka G

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You, I know

You know that one quality capable of juxtaposing life next to heaven? It is the ability to endure. The ability of falling on your face yet standing up with both feet firm on the ground. The ability to not let things or emotions dictate you in a way that it cripples you. That quality, it is rare!  If you think you have got it, tears and sorrow must be your long-lost friends. Smiles and laughter must be the new life companions you flaunt. There has begun the awesomeness of yourself and your life. Nah-ah this is not a state you achieve by forsaking someone else’s happiness or taking into your hand decisions to be made only by God. You, the power of evil, I command thee leave by all means. You will never understand ‘good’. I’m only speaking on behalf of good people who could box’em problems and come out strong at the end. Those who know from  which angle to face problem and from which to kick them to grave. Crying and sulking are for high-school kids. When you have passed that stage it is all about a few drops of tears and moving forward towards a solution. This type of people I respect.  Cheers to you if you’re in!

Well, I’m close I bet and I’ll join the awesome-rockers-of-life, soon. Real soon J

Renuka G

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Always a thumbs-up!

Lately I'm getting more and more reasons to start worrying. Sensing a  big voice screaming to my ears, 'Be afraid Renuka!'. As creepy as that might have sounded, it is even creepier to feel it by yourself. So the mighty question being, should we worry?

Well, of course! If a red warning sign so huge as a billboard is flashed right to your face, you got to react. But not so much. Worry leads to more worry for,  we are etched with the incredible ability of magnifying problems. Therefore, be careful how much you take in.

Rationally speaking, worrying is a pure waste of energy. We have way too many things that demands our attention every single day, and they deserve the priority seats. Worrying? It's like an absolute wet blanket, dragging away the fun and good spirit without you realizing it. Day-ruiner indeed! Keep them at bay.

Next,  stop worrying because it's going to be alright. Oh c'mon, how old are you? 20? 22? 2 decades and you haven't seen those metaphorical rainbows after the rain? It's going to be alright ok? Maintain a positive outlook. Not standing by the idea of being ignorant, what I'm trying to say is, act upon the problem without cringing. You can deal with things cool and calm, that's an option. Frowning isn't a requirement nor an obligation.

And finally, let's cross the river when we come to it. This saves hell a lot of stress!

Trust me, the first step towards happiness is knowing to take control of your emotions, be it worries, depression, confusion etc etc. Only when you've accomplished that step, life morphs into a sweet journey .

Renuka G

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Here it comes !

Thomas A. Edison once said discontent is the first necessity of progress, well I'm at the moment discontented. Discontented with the teacher that I am because I know the teacher I can be. You may have heard me expressing my carefree attitude about whatever that had taken place during my first practicum. But hey, I'm feeling discontented at heart. Whether I can be better let time decide. Whether I can strive to be better, that's my call for progress.

Only because I have shelved an A the previous time, doesn't mean I'm gonna get lucky this time around. Things are certainly not certain to go backwards and predict the 'forward'. Simply said, anything can happen. It makes me restless. Discontented. And i believe it is screaming in head to open doors for improvement and progress. I'm not a couch potato! Or maybe I am, couldn't help it. But  work is work. Nothing feels better than basking the fruits of one's hardwork. Therefore I shall strive for the best I can possibly be.

Ok the situation is like this, once again a school from Marang, an additional project with an ETA from the US if I'm not mistaken, observing-lecturer yet to be announced, so yeah the pressure has been elevated. Can't sit here and day dream anymore, for it is about time I buckle up getting everything that has to be done right.

The 2 months out from IPG is no license to roam free, it's a wake up call instead. While the world demands only the finest of quality, playing mediocre is not an option. It's a competitive market for the teachers as well if you were to keep up with the recent updates and education policies. I'm so screwed . HAHA.

Anyway, it's going to be a fun yet stressful experience which is going to make me roll eyes saying 'kids' every single working day at SK Paya Resak. Can't wait!!!  Ok I'm kidding. I'm hell scared :p

Renuka G

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