Unwrapped

First and foremost, I wanna send a warning to tears! If at all you are reading, please be selective of situations to flow out from my eyes. I'm sick of dealing with mascara mess and wet cheeks. Plus waterproof make-ups don't sell cheap ok? Considering all that, and also this being a closure post of 2013, I would like you to by all means stay away!

Now back to my hopefully-existing-readers.

I finally got my exam results of the 6th semester. Happy and satisfied! But that's just about exams . On a bigger picture, 2013 was a tough tough year in which I put up a tough tough front. Well I have become pretty good at masking emotions over the years. Practice makes perfect they say. Though there were hundreds of hurdles and heart wrenching moments, everything somehow fell into place at the end.  No problem is eternal. And having said that, I definitely have to thank the man above us for all his blessings.

Leaving pain and hurt aside, let's talk about the happy things of 2013. I found a handful of amazing people to call friends. People come and go, that's one bunch. But there are those who come with lots of care and love and stays with all their heart. The rare bunch. I'm glad a few crossed my path. I hope they will be a part of my life forever . Believe me, forever is a strong word. I won't use it if I don't mean it.

Apart from all mentioned, 2013 changed me into someone who's proud to be who I am. Some people are born to love themselves, some takes time to appreciate who they are while the rest are all wannabes of different kinds. I was once a member of the wannabe team, not anymore though. I think I'm special. Ok that might have sounded too much like a self-obssessed maniac, but hey,  everyone is special. Hence, me insisting my share is purely benign. I'm happy to wake up in the morning being myself and satisfied going to bed as Renuka and nobody else. Sometimes, being a typical human that I am, negative thoughts do mess with my head of who I could have been and why I'm not Mary or Jane. But such thoughts do not last and 'that' characters do not exist :D

In my perspective, I strongly feel the most important thing in life is keeping one's emotions intact. I'm progressing well in mastering it, thus, I was very much enduring and strong this year. Glad no extremely wrong decisions were made , convinced life comes with numerous lessons, and proud another river had been crossed.

All in all, 2013 basically wrapped up fine. Or shall I say wrapping up fine?

2014 will be a whole new chapter itself. Can't wait to be curiously turning the pages.

Renuka G

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The thin line

I love burning bridges in the heat of the moment, and that's an ugly truth of mine. Well there's enough space to criticize my morals based on what has been stated but I waive that chance to those nitpickers out there.

Whether it's a weakness of mine or my character, I'm usually inclined to react to situations especially dramas in a very hasty manner . Just as much as I love to end them, I love to end them fast. Hence,  all points justified. 

What happens when someone lights a fire beneath your feet? You jump and you run . In this case we shall put it as, we quarrel and we part, or yes, we burn the bridges . It's just too typical even to deny it. 

Guilty as charged.

The funny scenario though is, at some point I find this bizarre desire to build those bridges again. Like apologizing for something I'm not solely to be blamed for ? Oh yea exactly that! It is certainly not the same with all cases, yet some drains my sympathy . Deep inside I wish I was not a typical human . (The next line might make me sound like a person with split personality disorder , so embrace yourself . )

I hate to burn bridges.

Renuka G or the other :p

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Lemons that made lemonade

Choices in life finally, always, comes down to two. Wants and needs. I believe everyone is much excited about wants rather than needs though the truth is usually, wants being the exaggeration or extension of our needs which may or may not be truly fundamental. Don't think there is necessity to further explain the mentioned because who wouldn't like getting things their way right?

For a fairly long time, I have been that person. I was obsessed about my wants. I want this, I wanted that, I wanted everything my way till the moment I was humbled by my own thoughts. Instead of looking at personal pleasures and interests, I begin to look at satisfaction. Satisfaction of fulfilling certain responsibilities that I deem everyone should bow to. Well, I'm not going to disclose that responsibility of mine but I believe everyone has at least one . The difference being, whether we ignore them because we are drowned by our wants or we embrace them because of our needs. I choose the latter.

Let me give a simple example. Water. We need water as that is human necessity. And we want chocolates. First we have to ensure we have enough supply of water, then we can go look for all the chocolates in the world. Just like that. Responsibilities are the musts, while desires are the supplementaries. At least that's how I believe it to be. And that's how it will be if you are not selfish.

Bottom line, life hit me with two choices, and I picked to render to my needs.  It might not end up a perfect journey, but it's the absolute right thing to do.

Renuka G

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Take a breather

There comes a point in our lives that we close one eye to some things around us. We stop caring who's watching, we stop observing who is doing what, we stop thinking of the what ifs and what nots. We just live life. We throw our hands in the air and surrender.

Not because we are weak. Not because we are afraid. For the reason we choose to take a breather and care less than we used to.

Life begins the moment one realizes both his ability and limitations he has upon his being. He knows where to shine and where to shrug. In actuality, very few things needs our utmost attention. We humans however, have this inborn attitude of dipping a little bit everywhere and anywhere which at the end of the day gets us nowhere.

Sometimes, all we have to do is sit back, and breathe. Too many voices are 'talking'! Too much noise all around! But nothing is 'saying' a thing.

Renuka G

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Burning Bridges

Whatever that leaves you is for the good, that's my dad's way of confronting life. He always advises me to not bother if anything goes off my grip because it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I look at past relationships, an old friend perhaps, thinking maybe things would have been different if I did it another way. Delusional tale. It's like meddling with a broken wheel. Only because it rolls when I spin it, doesn't mean it's gonna roll by itself in the long run. It will stop somewhere along the way, maybe so worse that it can't be fixed anymore. Just like that, when something or someone begin to show you the signs, keep the door wide open. Have faith because the same door will bring in the better sometime later

Many people waste too much time brooding over whether to burn or not burn the bridge. They carry with them too much doubts and what ifs that are not necessarily worth it. They cling too hard and handcuff themselves to the root of their issues hence refusing to let go the all-set-to-go baggage. Yes baggage. This baggage will soon turn into their biggest burden. Dragging a baggage might seem like strong act done with pride but remember, the farther you drag, the horrendous it gets.

Whatever that leaves you is for the good. Feel free to wave goodbye. Lets not be overly imaginative thinking it could work or it would have worked. Those who wants to stay will stay no matter what and those who wants to leave won't stop even if you put up an electric fence against it.

It's a beautiful life, spend it with those who wants to stay. And there's always a corner for baggages, always JUST a corner.

Till next time,

Renuka G

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That Pretty Dress

When a dress is new, we hunt down events to wear them. To flaunt it's freshness, to let the world see the beautiful design of it, with a smile rather as perfect as the dress itself. We make home out of a mirror, turning to the right, to the left,  moving like a ballerina on top of a music box. What an amazing sight. 

Time will pass. And the same dress you once donned at every significant event of your life, will soon wear off. The stitches might become loose. Faded. A little torn at the side. Now the perfect beautiful dress is left somewhere among the rest of the daily wear and tear section. Sometimes when you open and slide close the wardrobe it peeks out at you in desperation, hoping someday you will pick it once again. Positivity is such a pain but just like love, hopes can be blind to. 

Do you think something that is used all out will ever be someone's pick rather than a mere option? 

The answer is no. People do not cling to things that don't make them look good anymore. They are always in a mad-search for something fresh, something they do not have. But little do they know, that too will wear off. The world is designed in a way that what enters ,shall exit. Some things wear off, some disappear, some forgotten while the rest is thrown. Permanent might be the memories and impact, yet presence is never the case. 

You can try running as far as you can I bet, our fate though is similar to the dress mentioned. We come all fresh and new, we shine, we impress, and the mighty sword of time takes its course. One day we are all just memories. Naah this doesn't only apply to death, it applies to everything. Relationships, success, etc etc.

Life is tough, get a helmet.

Renuka G

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