Its HARD..

I don't know why am i still awake..its hard to sleep when you are having too many things bothering you at heart and mind. plus it has been quite a while i didn't publish any new post here.

well, things are really going bad and heading to worst situations lately. frankly speaking, its hard.. seriously its hard to cope with everything here..predictably,i'm not good at dealing with problems and people, so that fact is enough to get things even worse!

Sometimes life requires you take up responsibilities, sometimes you need to make all crucial decisions , sometimes you need to confront people, sometimes you need bear with even the worst thing just forsake of relationships and responsibility. how if all this comes at once? yup, its hard..i gotta suck it all up and go on with whatever i gotta do. sometimes most of the time, i feel like letting it all go! giving up! but its just foolish i guess. i have reached till this stage, i've fought half of the battle, so whats the point surrendering at this stage?

People? Lets talk about people..well, who cares about people? if you think carefully, we never did care about people, but we do care and give priority to relationships! those we are bonded with...parents, siblings, most importantly friends! the hardest bunch we have to bear with.. friends are important! its hard to deny that.. but how many of those so-called friends deserve the adjective "important".. again, its hard.. bearing! coping! that is vital~ PATIENCE...

finally MYSELF! don't think im that impractical to not blame myself.. yes i do blame myself for certain things. i am the type who gets close to others in a very short period. the biggest problem with me is that i dont draw lines..i forgive easily.. so ?? some stomp on my head! well other than that, i'm not good at controlling my emotions ! small things can make me cry..i can be damn sarcastic at times too.. its hard, its just me..but dont say i didnt try! i am trying to deal with things in a proper way. without getting too emotional, without hurting others..how far it worked?? i dont know...i tried at least..

Along my way here, i learnt a lot and still learning till this moment..but all i wanna say is its not easy..to be in my shoes.well, let me put it this way, you cant judge someone's situation through any of your senses!!  NO ONE CAN BE IN OTHERS' SHOES! thats not practical...

things are not going well, thats obvious..i'm not trying to fix them, but to bear with them..i wanna get through this without complicating it even more. i'm playing my role, i dont wana hurt anyone, let it be my friend or foe ( like i have 1) ..and if my silence hurts some, i'm sorry...i prefer to be left alone for some time...

-RG-

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MOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOCK??? as though i'm soo scared..

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L.I.F.E n etc..

Life isn’t easy..ain’t that true? Well, I never assumed it easy anyway. Things that had happened and happening carry its reason behind. Its just I’m too naïve perhaps to unfold them. Sometimes going too deep into something only gives you heartache and headache at the end. So I’m staying where I am rather than ending my peace of mind like the cat killed by curiosity! Remember the “curiosity killed the cat” thingy?? Yup that applies..

We all make mistakes and we all pay a price! I’m not an exception here. I made mistakes in past.. if I were to list it down then I would end my life writing off my wrongs. Well, I don’t wish to die with such accomplishment! But,when my friends made mistakes that victimize me perhaps, I don’t care. I don’t care much for apologies. They are just words to be frank. Human can’t talk both ways. Things are said and done, so let it be so. I just wanna know whether they accept their wrongs and change or choose to do nothing at all after the noble 5 letter word of “SORRY”.. Yeah noble! Perhaps!!!

There are also certain things that people don’t owe you an apology! That includes “certain things” that you don’t like about that person. As we all know, originating from the same species called “human” doesn’t mean that we should be alike attitude wise. Some people like to be neat and hate those who are clean-freaks. While some obey all the rules in the world, a bunch stay reckless upon it! Opposite doesn’t always attracts you see! It’s a pure fact! Digest it right! hmm when this happens, what can one do??? Hey, I’m neither a philosopher nor psychologist! Never even thought about such nightmares! Not enough of problems in my life, I gotta poke my noses into others! What an ugly sight!!! Sometimes teaching is way better..Seriously I didn’t mean that!!!! Hmm back to business, what can 1 do? I don’t know..Stay away perhaps, rather than getting annoyed every time for everything and hurting the person. Find your own way..

Life always leaves you with options but sometimes the options sounds like “do or die” which is actually a “none” option! Hmm whatever! Rather than just risking everything into the option which either way leads you into trouble, some chose not even to peek at them! Yeah, better way! “look or stay blind” sounds good..stay blind! “ to act dunno” I mean to say it in our slang! Pretend like nothing happened even though you felt an earthquake, is way better! Most of the times! Rather than plotting strategies to save a sinking ship of “friend”, better just stay blind like you didn’t see anything! ship?? Yeah ,its going well! Less headache ,right? if at all it sinks, then just say goodbye thanking god for not boarding it!! Simple as that! Well, easy to say…I never denied that!!

So what is my point here?? Pointless perhaps! Haha….hmm point? My point is that life isn’t easy! Sometimes life drives to a one-way road with a dead -end..no return , no forward! And you are stuck there forever! Be prepared for everything..When you are stuck, prepare to make a life there! Nothing wrong in that! You screwed yourself, so fix the mess yourself! Its not hard anyway.. Living is a must but the way you live is an open option! Nobody deserves your love and care more than yourself! Your charity comes first! Mother Theresa was decades ago! World has changed, nobody is there to evaluate your noble actions! Come on everyone got stuffz to do..be yourself, follow your instincts and do use your brains ALL the time! When you get yourself into swamps, be ready to wash it off and leave..don’t sit in the swamp thinking how I fell? What wrong I did? This is not fair! Stop wasting your time! Life is short but it’s a long journey..Remember, humanity is overrated sometimes!!! Life is all about moving on, isn’t it???
Hmm something to ponder upon, people say , I can’t live without love, I can’t live without friends, Well, AIR is MORE important!!!! Isn’t it???? So SHUT UP!!!

~ HeeLzZ OfF~

RG

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Rihanna-Hard

Lyrics | Rihanna Lyrics | Hard Lyrics

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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The One and Only...

I've been burned by so many friends, especially lately, now I'm starting to realize who my true friends are.  i've come to my senses that no one is actually there to lift someone up. All are just having their own intentions on you. Waiting for time and preying to trip you down! its always fun to watch someone fall. Isn’t it? If that satisfies you, well then watch me! Enough is enough, i'm not a fool to forgive over and over again.

well i'm talking about the RULE! There are of course exceptions! yeah perhaps.. Chucking aside those pets that are looking for shelter, there are some, those who are there for you always... apologize and value you all the time! but it’s just they are outshined with these bunch of fakers around! We demand sincerity in search of friends, but at the end of the day we ourselves break the rules we set! Funny right?

hmm frankly, this post doesn't mean that i'm writing evil nor i'm begging for sympathy.  i am just putting my two cents in, friendship is just like an illusion..One moment it is there, another moments it just vanish..What you see is not the genuine thing. At the end of the day, looking back at time yu will realize how you made fool of yourselves. so stop trying soo hard!

I so wanna be over this whole misery I’m in! Only god knows how it feels to be in my shoes! Sometimes it just crosses my mind, living in isolation is way better than what I’m going through.. facing people who are capable of making me question everything about myself! I feel pathetic! Not about them but myself! Claiming this and that, don’t make you nor myself innocent!

It is really sad to look back and smile over those good memories as its like dead memories now! More like a dream that haunts me and hurts me every time I close my eyes.. well, I don’t know what to do. Knowing myself , I’m conscious with the fact, I forgive easily! But things are showing me signs, maybe people are taking advantage over that!

If friendship is like a blowing wind! Yeah, I’m giving up my arguments! It touches me and went the second moment..Well, fair enough..ain’t not that?? But its not! That’s not at all close to the real meaning of friendship! Come on, define to me what friendship means buddy! I am just stumbling over it again and again so, clear me up please!

Apple polishing, then you use’em whenever you need, after that?? Hmm..Relating for gains perhaps.. Even worst are some that stay with you 24/7 just to watch how you go up to overthrow, and joys over your fall ,thinking its their achievement! Gosh! What is this?? Can someone please explain! If you really need help, why don’t you go to the person and ask for favor instead of faking over and over again, just for the little favor that is gonna benefit you at the end of the day! Don’t you think its cruel enough? To kill in the name of friendship? The person who helps you are mostly sincere, but how about the blood suckers who listens to each and one of their stories, smiles for everything the person says even though it is the dumbest thing on earth and etc just to get their own things done! Think about it…its better to not to denote it as friendship, give it some other name I suggest!

Gaining something from a friend is no harm, as long as both parties are sincere! Most of the time, this is not the scenario! 1 party will benefit and suck everything out from the other. The losing party lives a life of a hermit! Fair or is it not? That’s very subjective. Because in this society, there are two types of human beings! Two types?  Genuine humans and….answer for yourself!

Ok fine, I’m done with this post! All I have to say is “you don’t have to remind someone to be your friend” if they are your friends, they should realize their roles in this whole stage play of your life.  if they fail, then lets just put them backstage! They are better off there i guess..

Curtain FallZzz

!!~RG~!!

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Selfish??? ain't that BAD!

Majority claims naively that selfishness is wrong and that service must be offered in a "selfless" manner. We live in a world that does not recognize the option of rational selfishness but barely assume selfishness as an act of "Hitler" maybe. We are taught from childhood that we must be either self-sacrificing or thoughtlessly "selfish" which can never help it fitting to our "human" society these days.

Selfishness does not denote a self-destructive behavior. Choosing to pursue one's career choice is selfish; choosing to have children  or not to have children  is selfish ( even tough this is not the age to discuss it *winkz*). Demanding freedom rather than living under a dictatorship is selfish. Even crossing the street in a manner to avoid an oncoming car is selfish yet responsible. If this seems too wrong then why don't you let the car drive you straight to heaven.

Again, I maintain that our perception of "selfish" is the problem. Contrary to popular yet undiscovered "fact", all healthy individuals are selfish  (don't blame me if its unfamiliar ). Rational selfishness is the means of living both a moral and psychologically healthy life. So why blindly make a foolish statement selfish people are hitler's babies!!!! (oh well, i made that statement i suppose *giggles*) First of all, do understand the circumstances! Don't simply judge and label people just because you can! Remember!  If you can , so do others!

Sometimes a rational selfish act of your friend might give you an ugly sight concerning him/her. But trust me, if you an observer then you remains one.As for you the dream of being an analyzer is like the blowing wind . It touches you but you can't grab it nor see it!  And just through the touch some act like they have it all. Yeah, as i always say " Keep on dreaming!!" Let see how far you can go.

Well, its a selfish world! What more can i explain on a clear-straight fact! Its your life! Sculpture it with your own tools. The world??!!! duh, you think you can please people?? If its a "yes" then go and start making a kite so you create a good past time while it winds :-p .. If its a clear "NO" then yeah join the club!!!

Happy 2010!!!!

_RG_

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