Prescriptions

It is apparently true what people say about passion, it's an addiction. You will always bounce back like a ball slammed on a surface. Hence this new post justified.

The past few weeks had been pretty overwhelming. I could say 'hard' but it won't explain the truth. Not to pinpoint everything  on work, many other things took place further piling on mental strain. It was a feeling close to drowning but far from panic. The cherry on top is, I reacted so less. I used to jump at every instance and let those tears roll as if it's the proper way to deal with a breakdown. You might think I'd say I'm stronger. Unfortunately, that's not the case. 

I just do not care about some things anymore. Whatever that took place in the past taught me to take life as it unfolds. There is no need to over think the unpredictable, stalk and investigate, or even to question the whys. Everything that you need to know will be brought to you someday, someway. I have so much to do and learn and that I won't compromise for anything. Some people are passing clouds, I would never invest so much trying to hold on to something that would't fit me in the long term. 

One thing I have to get off my chest though. There are certain individuals in the world who thinks life is what they live and everybody else is wrong. Foolish I say. Your life is how you choose to engineer it. If someone brainwashes you into believing a formula to a happy life is what that's in their hands, punch them right on their face! It has never worked that way. If you ever beg someone to show you the right path, then do punch yourself! It's more like finding the perfect pair of shoes. You have to try a few pairs, walk a few steps, pick the right color, think about the most practical choice and weigh your wallet. Simply put, in life you have to take a few decisions and evaluate all of them so you find your own equation that is applicable to your personal life. 

It is not tough but truth be told, we are only afraid of the possible negative outcome. We belittle our abilities to design our lives and settle for anything that we saw perfect from a spectator's angle. Remember, all that shines is not gold.  The same eyes that enables vision are famous for deceptions as well. In short, stop prescribing formulas and receiving formulas. The experiences we had have reasons. Use them to find yourself, and later pursue whatever the hell you want!

Renuka G

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A sip of knowledge

I believe one thing you have to do especially while you are still young and commitment-free is, to jump at every opportunity to learn. Three weeks at the new school has taught me so much. Be it in terms of professional development or self-empowerment , it has been a great place to explore new things. I did not deny the stress and the tiresome journey nor I wish to sugar-coat everything that is taking place. I am merely stating this profession is not what it looks like on the surface. There is so much more in being a teacher and I am taking baby-steps every single day.

It is obvious that the teachers at school are seasoned with experience and knowledge. Their class control is close to perfection while mine is a huge mess still when it comes to lower primary classes. I am excited to learn and to improve and to experiment. These are what makes days interesting. I did not sign up for a   9 to 5 job in front of a PC. I am a teacher. That is what I am and that is what I shall remain, at least for another few years.

Renuka G

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That day

So what's the whole fuss about? The weekend? 

As Valentine's Day is drawing near, things that are taking place only reminds me of how far I have travelled away from the search for the one. Perhaps my ambitions have consumed the part of me which used to overly sigh over the loneliness and an nonexistent companionship. I think it's just human nature to run from one thing to another.

I was afraid of heartbreaks hence I left chasing after dreams that I know would be feasible. I prefer being in control. Call me a control freak and I would nod in agreement.  Love and relationships are subtle. So complicated that it's hard to see it as an easy experience. People on the other hand are the worst subject to master. It might sound like a surrender-note but it's more of a temporary one.

I'm full of questions which I don't demand for answers anymore. I have too many demands that I won't pen down as I used to. Everything runs in my mind occasionally like an exciting ad playing in between my self-directed play. Maybe I have found the one, maybe not.  Maybe I know what I feel, maybe that's an excitement of a child over a toy. Whatever that is meant to be yours should and will reach you when you are ready to accept it.  For now, my plate is full.

People that I had an opportunity to cross paths with taught me the value of respect and the importance of living a meaningful life. My priorities are different now. If love can still find me despite all the odds, then do delay the journey a little. 

Renuka G

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Plans and Pursuits

Who ever expected that I would get back my hometown?

But I am not changing any part of my plan. I wanted to start the hard way and progress through it , that is exactly what I will be doing. It's a long scary 50 minutes drive from home, small school with people of golden hearts, English and Arts, Year 1 and year 6 in my schedule, and many more challenges that I choose not to overly fuss about. Perhaps the years I have spent dreaming of my future turned me into this ambitious girl that I am now. Or it could merely be the whole ' new broom sweeps well' scenario. Let time reveal.

You can place any bets on me but I have already embarked my journey. As I have always desired, I finally signed up for gym and started with light weights. My dad apparently had a shock because it was super tiring  to come home at 5 and head to gym by 5.30 everyday but, this is what I want. I dread ending up like those people who neglect working out using their work as an excuse. Your body is your best friend and the only way to stay healthy is to keep fit. Plus I feel more positive and happy after this routine. Try it! Exercising does make a huge difference in your personality and EQ.

Next, tuition. Cliche ! I already got some offers for home tuition and I will not say no. So what if I am still at the warming up stage of my job ? I can teach. 2 hours a day can't hurt, at least I choose to believe so. Plus they say, you will never know how far you can go if you don't push yourself enough. I already have home-comfort (thank god!) , the rest should be challenging or I will drown and disappear. For once I am happy teaching.  It's like my passion for English yearning to make a  difference in the lives of these kids and more kids. It's stressful to get them to understand without using a word of their mother tongue, but once you succeed the feeling is out of the world. I can go another day for that passion and the thought of me changing at least a little part of their world.

So you think I'm forgoing my baking pursuits? Hell NO! I have enquired some certificate courses for baking and pastry during the weekends. Ambitious uh? Before I pursue my masters, I want to do something simply for sheer passion and the fun of it. Fingers crossed.

This is not me boasting about my grand plans, do not misunderstand. This is about me reminding myself how badly I want to progress. I want to be better. If I ever stop that means I am the best version of me already. You know, 'best' is a myth. The world is full of knowledge, I wish to conquer as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Renuka G

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Three wise monkeys

Take the good, leave the bad. One policy that accommodates us into the imperfect world perfectly. I have always been taught to see the good in people disregarding their weak points. 

A man may be a drug addict but portrays good manners. A man could lie and cheat but still show gratitude to those who love him. We all have our vices that's the truth. At the same time we are capable of modeling admirable behaviors as well. Sometimes we feel so natural doing an act without realizing not many actually do those things because for us it has become a habit.

How would the world be if we only scan to scorn people by seeing them as half a human only capable of the bad? We will only end up ruining each other while indulging in more vices ourselves. Remember the three wise monkeys? Only see, hear and speak good things.

Nobody's perfect. So why not excuse a certain side of a person you dislike and value his/her strengths instead? 

Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we learn to ignore shortfalls ? Something to ponder indeed.

Renuka G

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Of cravings and guavas

The hyper kid had her day! Usually my self control is pretty remarkable in terms of my diet that I reward myself everyday with a small piece of chocolate after my lunch. Today I had no chocolates since I haven't done my grocery shopping yet. Oh yes I have my once in a fortnight routine through which I stock up things for cooking, baking and snacking purposes. I was one disciplined kid you know, till yesterday. 

I even went to the extreme extent of having cabbage soup and toast for dinner! Neither missed workout nor night time yoga. I was that good! This morning I woke up and established a newly weds kinda relationship with the scale. Then it happened. Hyperactivity. 

My dad is a very responsible man! He knows my needs well and when my favourite snacks run out, even without me nagging he will stock the fridge real soon. So he came home after work with my go-to fruits like guava and pomegranate. By the way, today he bought a new addition, rose apple! Wondering what's that uh? Thanks to my curiosity , I found out the English name for Jambu Air to be rose apple or water apple. So that was it. Setting aside the healthy basket, I saw Pringles standing tall on the tv shelf and Merci in the bottom rack of the fridge. I knew there shall be a disaster. 

After my usual workout and shower, my dad offered me one rose apple. Like a good dad he offered me an healthy option, but he too did the damage by purchasing the fattening junk. An irony indeed. 

I was munching the sweet juicy fruit with my eyes fixed at the junk food sitting comfortably on the shelf! It didn't take my determination very long to surrender itself and rip open the potato crisps like a Cookie Monster! Or potato monster maybe? The crunching and munching went on and on till I realise I had to eat some nutritional food . Made a sunny side up eggs with grilled tomatoes and reheated the remaining cabbage soup in the microwave. Even in the given teeny tiny cooking and heating period, I sneaked a small piece of guava from the fridge and kept my mouth busy. Lots of different varieties of guavas in my system today. Guava day it shall be named.

After gobbling up dinner, Merci made my hands itch to unseal it. And I apparently did. I had never, even once in my life turned down chocolates! True story. I ate like three pieces savouring every chocolately almond crunch. Yum! Then I came to my senses of the damage I was doing via excessive sugar and salt and fat formation immediately making a bottle full of lemon-cucumber infused water. Drinking it helps in keeping my tummy feeling full thereby preventing further food intake for the rest of the night. And the mission was successful.

The truth shall uncover itself tomorrow when the happy relationship turns sour. Weighing scale, I wish your battery drains off. Haha. Or maybe I will limit my snacks tomorrow and weigh myself the next day!

There's always an escape and a fix *winks*

Renuka G

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