Purpose and Progess

People have different purposes in life. Some strive for money, some chase after happiness and the rest with their own unique ambitions. I look out for progress. It's my word, the one word that I want to be defined after.

In my perspective, a person needs to evolve. It matters so less how much and how long it takes for each tiny change, to grow as a being is crucial. I don't believe in calculating success adding someone else into my equation. I'm happy if I progress. This is one of the many reasons I do things that I do. Like baking for instance, I started with a dry rainbow cake with cracked tops and now I can make a decent layer cake. The same applies for writing and working out. Nothing compares the happiness you get out of satisfaction and progress is what brings one there.

As the phase called unemployment is coming to an end, I'm writing this to remind myself to look out for the many  opportunities awaiting to grow. Truth be told, I am a little anxious about the posting results. God knows where I will be spending the coming three years prior the contract ends. But the best part being, I can't do anything about it. It leaves me with a little peace because I know it's pointless to overthink what's not in my control. Whatever life throws, I will try to make desserts out of it! :p

Hope I will get to be a better teacher, complete my postgraduate studies, join culinary and baking certificate programs, read good books and learn more about anything and everything! To see progress is ultimate the purpose. After-all, success is a self-defined thing !

Renuka G

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Gatsby, the Great

I have a penchant for good literature. It is one of the main reason I took an extra subject, Literature In English for SPM. I did some awesome plays and novels but I couldn't fully enjoy it then because of the exam pressure. Now though I am all into reading between the lines, again. The difference between contemporary novels and classics is that they have symbols and hidden meanings left for the readers to interpret according to their understanding. All answers are correct hence it's second level of fun reading about what others have to say. You will end up amazed with how a few lines could signify so many different things. I love that about literature.

Recently I watched this movie The Great Gatsby which is the movie adaptation of a F. Scott Fitzgerald's writing of the same name. The movie had so many symbols and great quotes. Everything had a meaning underneath; the green light which signifies Gatsby's dream which is visible yet so far from reach, the eyes of the doctor that is shown everything an immoral act took place denoting the presence of god. Even better is the narration of  Nick done with so much depth about the society and Gatsby's story. One memorable quote that caught my literature-brain was :

"I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life." Nick Carraway

It explains how we all are in life. Both a participant (within) and an observer (without) at the same time. But the irony being we are often at joy with things that we commit yet loathe watching the scenes happening in front of us. Yes it is biased, also was Nick. It's the same world, a world full of flaws and opportunities in which we strive to understand adversity by either watching or participating. Nick enjoyed the situation in Tom's apartment  and living the city life however, as a casual watcher he couldn't understand whatever that was happening. The same goes to his views on Gatsby's love.  He was amazed seeing his love for Daisy and the way he looks at her but Nick only fathoms the foolishness when he was all alone at the funeral, in Gatsby's mansion. We are all a Nick in our lives,somehow in some ways.

It was a tragic ending when Jay Gatsby died. It was not his illegal businesses that killed him, but his naive love. Gatsby was a great lover who came a long a way only to realize that his future was already behind him. While Daisy depicts a typical woman whose actions only reflects inconsistency and confusion, "a beautiful little fool". Overall a great literature!

Renuka G

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To walk a dream

I'm a dreamer. Now that I'm unemployed and commitment-free, I have progressed to the next level of dreaming, excessive dreaming. I mean whatever, make sense out of it. My head feels like a reservoir of plans and procrastinated efforts with an automated door allowing access anytime I wish. Hence, I'm always in my dreamland.

Sometimes I wish I could dig out a few ideas, actually bringing them at least a couple of steps closer to reality, but laziness seem to be one clingy partner. Dreaming is the easiest and consumes very little to no work at all thus, producing a faithful user out of me. Not fair yet justified.

I think I'm just another human capable of pampering myself to an unacceptable extent. How sweet of me, right?

Though it was me who wrote the above, I genuinely feel this should not go on for long. There is no doubt that I am a lazy, forever-sleepy, bored soul but naah. As soon as I start working, if this were to become a habit then I'm most certainly in a lot of trouble. Bearing that in mind, I'm gonna make one of my humble yet personally grand idea to use. And everyone will definitely  be informed of the progress!

Renuka G

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Transformation amidst unemployment

It has been a crazy journey! Working out is not easy, especially for me. One hour of cardio and the other set of workouts can drive me insane sometimes. Frankly speaking I get bored real fast. I just could not count the number of times I changed my workouts. Sometimes I do planks , at times I totally ditch that and commit to crunches. It's just never easy.

But I'm proud to have not given up for as long as I started to workout. It sucks sometimes to wake up after a deep afternoon nap thinking of the next one hour of cardio. Yes I hate cardio the most! Having said that, realising I have survived a month plus with limited skips fill me with pride. 

They say weight loss and body transformation is 30% workout and 70% diet. I apparently mess up the latter severely as soon as I see French fries in the menu hence leaving me no choice but to hold on to my discipline when it comes to burning the calories. Safe to say, I had never  indulged so much when I don't workout. I usually make damn sure that I do a little yoga in case I miss my daily workouts. Plus I don't believe in starving to lose weight! You can always see the difference between the body of a person who works out and those who only let the diet do the job. Another reason being, I'm a foodie! And a baker .haha

Even though I'm not a size zero, I'm happy to look at myself in the mirror. This is all my hardwork. I remember those times I used to be close to 62kg but now I'm down by 10kg at least. And the best part being there is no muffin top when I sit or stand! I'm still far from achieving my fitness goals and forming healthy eating habits. For now, I'm happy where I am.

Renuka G

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Thinking in/of Progress

How do you know who's the right one for you? And just like that how do you know which is the right place to kick start your career?

I had battled the mind-numbing thoughts before, for a few times actually. By battled I mean, I did decide on the best but now that they handed me a second chance to make changes I am left confused. For a long time I have gripped strongly to the belief of heading wherever life takes me. In fact, I made the shelved choices based of the mentioned belief. Never in my life I thought I would leave INTI, and embarassingly  I didn't even know where Terengganu is in the map of Malaysia till I get the offer letter. However, that is exactly where life took me and 5 years went by just like that and here I am a degree holder baffled by thoughts of the future.

The conflict is between money and progress. Which one would you choose?

Would you rather go somewhere far, forgoing most comfort and progress settling for the pot of gold or be happy somewhere you could get the comfort, advance academically at ease but for a much lower pay? I am still weighing both choices, the pros and cons. Perhaps I won't find the answer , or there is no answer after all. Sometimes we just have to close our eyes, stop questioning so much, take a leap of faith and make the best of what life hands us. Once again as I mentioned earlier, wherever life takes me!

As I am writing this it is getting clearer, I do not need to over think this. Selangor or Sabah, I will somehow make it work. Those with dreams and ambitions do not fancy excuses people say. I will get my masters, pursue my baking dreams and be the best version of me without calculating the time I have to sacrifice and invest.

It's gonna be alright!

Renuka G

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Oh god!

So it's new year uh? Let me start off by wishing everyone a great year ahead and good luck with the ambitious resolutions. Hope your memory got space to retain them till year end and scan for viruses occasionally, alright?

I don't want to make a cliché post about 2015 and new beginnings, I'm gonna talk about beliefs. 

The existence of God has been a hot topic debated by people around the world. Plus I bet at least once in your entire life you have questioned the same notion. Does God really exist? Is there a power up up up there watching over every move we make? Can you prove it? 

I think it's incredible how some things are not meant to have legit answers. This means the ball is settling in our court. Hence it leaves us helpless to create our own answers which can never be proven wrong by anyone! Just in case you feel too in control, you could hop on any of the prescribed belief system that tunes your brain into something. Voluntarily!

I have seen both. I know some who believes in God and some who choose not to. Well, I never questioned any for choosing what they have chosen. The problem being some people do. 

Like seriously, why? Let's look at the whole water in the glass concept. Is it halfway full or halfway empty? Can you successfully prove which one is correct?

Admit it. Nobody has seen God but there are things that makes people feel He exists. It could also be something else. A scientific phenomenon maybe? Whatever it is, it's personal. The world is no place to stuff your beliefs onto somebody's head. Keep it with you! 

I wish some of us had the respect to accept the person next to them for who they are and what they want to be. God or science, we are all humans. Right ? If you are an animal kindly let me know, we could make headlines together ! Winks.

I don't care if you are counting sins or molecules, you are amazing regardless!

Good night !

Renuka G

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