The go-to strategy

I had been busy for a couple of months in which I felt nothing but stress. The simplicity of my thoughts and the tamed curiosity held me so close to my responsibilities at hand. Had I not enjoyed those moments?  It was like dating loneliness so deeply that I even desire to take it home with me. Now that the tasks at hand are framed aside, thoughts are wandering, literally everywhere!

I know this means trouble. The return of the whys and why-nots are messing with my head and hey, you two are not welcomed! This is real, my thoughts just unlocked themselves and they seem to be enjoying the limitless space they could occupy while I sit here ranting about the tragedy.

Sometime ago I decided to not commit into a relationship and, be comfortable with the love that I'm blessed with from the people who are already in  my life. Well, so far I had not lost the battle. But you know thoughts, they can be extremely annoying and persuasive in convincing you something is wrong and something is lacking. It is like a mosquito bite-situation. You scratch, you are bruised, you resist, head explodes! Similarly, thoughts are messing with my self-control like a boss as I sit on ehow figuring how to make a padlock to keep my self-control intact. Just shoot me now!

I wonder how they do it :p

Reality check, self-control requires some positive thoughts to counter attack the frenzy thoughts. Here comes the role of ambitions! I do not know about the world population and their views but for me, ambitions are to be fulfilled prior big commitments like marriage especially. So why should I rush? Don't I have too much time to wait for Prince charming? Plus, loneliness seem to get along pretty well with me, judging based on its hesitance to leave me of course. Again, why rush?

my life is colourful still, so why bother ?!! :D

My principle of life is pretty simple. I do not care about fame and recognition, I just want to learn. Learn about everything that mesmerizes me, tickles my curiosity and interests me. Commitments may not stop me from learning, but it does change some things. Call me selfish, I don't think it is risk worth thinking.

Let the random thoughts use up its last bullet, I will be holding tight to my passion and ambitions. My heart is safe in a space surrounded with positivity and just enough ego to keep me going.

Renuka G

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Just live!

I no longer believe life has to be fair what-so-ever. It happens to every single one of us. We cannot resist nor demand reasons behind things that takes place. It is the way it goes. Sometimes it's like a cool breeze ,at times it's a bad storm. Embrace it either way. Put behind those raging emotions and curiosity, just let it happen to you. You will be thankful someday for all the experiences.

I'm thankful for everything that I have been through

Life does not have to be fair always. If you want to grow, learn to accept that fact. Keep walking, no matter what happens, keep going. Nothing is worth stopping for. Life is too short for pauses, I guess. And life is too precious that you can't weigh its fairness on a lever.

Enjoy the mystery, ignore the what-ifs, don't look to the right, don't look to the left, just live! You know you are AMAZING!

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Mother's Day

Words were never suffice to describe a mother . As much as that might sound like a cliché, don’t be in denial, it is most certainly one!Heee.

 It hit me just today that I have never written a post about mother’s day or my mother but have surprisingly shelved countless number of posts about my dad. She’s like the mysterious soul wishing me well behind the curtains.  Omit  the ‘like’, she is indeed and will always be. So today it would be about mothers.

Relationships are complicated, be it blood- ties or a stranger you just meet. They have ups and downs, tons and tons of misunderstandings, happy times and rocky times and some indescribable situations in which we wonder how complex humans could be. At the end of the day, it’s your call whether to burn the bridge or nurse the wounds. But some ties can never be broken, some bridges are impossible to burn. One would definitely be the relationship between you and your mother.

Shall I put it this way, people will throw stones at a full fruited tree, but the tree never surrendered to that. For it, it isn’t a big deal, the tree will still keep fruiting. It will give the best it could and let you bask its fruits anyway, even though it means  bearing another few stones hurting it. A mother is like a tree, a big tree which shades her children, attends to their needs even if it has to bear a little pain (or at times a lot of it), so magnificent that it withstands the unpredictable storms and rains for as long as it could.  Some of us on the other end are still the foolish crowd who are hurting the tree  consciously or unconsciously thinking it will always be there to shade and to feed us regardless of circumstances. Try to look closer, the tree is aging!

I think this is a reminder to my own self and others out there too. If we let the past disputes and anger rule us, we will only have an old chair, tears and lots of regrets somewhere in the future. Is our pride mightier than the hands which nurtured us? Think about it.

Tomorrow might not be pretty as those golden days. Scars do change a relationship forever, I agree. But let’s just set our egos aside and accept that we are all equally flawed though in different ways. If the many years in this world haven’t taught you the beauty of forgiving and forgetting, you could be alien! :p

Before I end, here goes my belated Mother ’s Day wish to all the mothers in the world including mine! May you be blessed with love, care and a beautiful life just like your pretty little heart!

Renuka G

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Closure of the third

My return to this blog marks the end of my final practicum! God it feels so good . After 3 months of physical and emotional strain, I made it to the finish line. Honestly I feel very proud of myself as throughout the whole process I was conscious enough to sense the challenges and tough times I came pass. Now it's like a big burden lifted off from my shoulders. 

The one thing I learnt would be, if you are crazy about getting something and you work for it, it will be yours. Previously in my life I have seen the negative side of craziness conquering all , this time though the scene is in a positive setting with a much much more positive ending. For that I have to definitely thank my year 4 pupils who turned my tears into a triumphant smile by the end of my practicum. It was indeed an eye opening experience full of valuable lessons. I often had the perspective that class control is all about being stern and shouting and putting up a Chucky face yada yada. Not anymore.

People, be it kids or adults can't be kept in your grip by simply playing the who's-in-control game. It won't be long till you realize you are basically interacting with a piece of wall. What I used to get the kids to cooperate was crafts. Pupils in the weak class can't sit still and listen to you doing the monologue, they rather take walk looking for goats and cows. The only choice you have is to integrate something that interests them and relate it to the content. That was how I taught science after shedding tears for a month trying to figure out what was wrong. I used to hate this class but at last they grew so close to me that I started to love teaching them so much. Thank you kids!

Speaking of life in general, I made peace with myself that everything happened and happens for a reason, good reasons mostly. And even more important, I realized the world is a free place to make individual choices and decisions. There is no need to worry about people who don't care about you, there is no need to know the truth behind every happenings, there is no need to entertain everyone who wants to get to you, there is no need be friends with everyone, there is no need to tail the beliefs and norms of a culture which does not fit you, there's just no need to be copy cats. You are free, create your own rules and be happy living by those principles.

coffee, watching the new beginning unfolds :D

If you fall, it will be your ground and if you rise, let it be your sky! *fairy-dust to all*

Love,

Renuka G 

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Hmm

Days just pass by like this. The same old routine. The day starting will all smiles, morphing into frustrations and later tears. So mundane that tomorrow has become very much predictable. I feel so lost while having my hopes crushed further hard each passing moment. It's not like I didn't try, I did. It's not like I gave up, I'm still fighting the battle. The worst part is, I miss being me.I forgo many things in life because I simply wanna stay happy and escape the stress. This is the ultimate wake-up call I assume, life knows your weakest point. It knows where it hurts.

Just like everyone else, I too have a force pulling me down every time I try to get up.

That's life, right?  No one gets it easy.

Renuka G

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Life is a Marathon!

There will come a point in our lives when we turn around only to find how some people have progressed through life in such a short period. While you are still busy attending to your Barbie's Dream House, you find your friend buying his own house. While you are still gripping hard your fluffiest teddy, you friend's arms are tied in  the name of matrimony. Then when you come home logging into your favourite social network, there you go a video of your friend featured in a tv show, a few new relationship statuses flying around, pictures of some migrating elsewhere, updates of accomplishments and brand new life events triggering that one deadly question. What the hell am I doing wrong?

For most of us, that is the case scenario almost every single day. We are accustomed into believing the cliche of life being a race. We reflect our own progress by comparing it to some else's life. Everyone is striving to sprint through the field without realizing their feet being on different lanes with their so-called competitors. Life is not a race, it is a marathon.

No first, second or third place that is prioritized. It's about finishing it your way. You may sprint and slow down and sprint. You can go slow and steady all throughout the path or any way you wish. Taking life like a race, fearing the stride length of the person on the next lane, looking back on who's coming after you, is just an obvious sign of how unhappy you are with yourself. In the long run, that will only transform you into an unappreciative person who can't see the blessings you have, finally leaving you with nothing but resentments.

Take life as a marathon. It might be a long long journey but do it for yourself. Do it for a purpose. Run to prove yourself. Take your eyes off the medals and prizes, life doesn't start today and finish in the next few moments. No harm in finishing late. All you have to do is have personal goals, dreams and a well-founded passion. Your friend and you, are not the same. You might be entitled for different things, and get it at different times. It's OKAY.

After-all there is no such thing as a perfect life, it's all in the mind.

Renuka G

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