Feet on the ground.

It has been a while since wrote something here. Well, truth be told I’ve missed this space and I’m glad to be back. So why today?

It irks me to not share, and it’s hard to ignore as well. Humility. Humility has been estranged .

To stay humble has become a chore in this competitive world. Everyone is running towards the goal of being impressive and proving the world they capable of a certain thing or skill. In that race, they lose control of the ground. They run so hard only to fall on the very same ground.

Humility is estranged. But it can still teach you a lesson or two. Growth is measured by wisdom not by your boastful description of your strengths. Pride comes before a fall. Be matured enough to realise that if it’s significant enough, if it’s sound enough, the world would speak for you of your glory.

Humility is a beautiful quality to possess. It frees you from yourself. It reminds you  to learn while those in pride think they have enough. It brings peace. 

There’s been a misconception that pride equals to confidence. You can be humble and confident. Confidence is to know and believe in your abilities, not convincing people of them. It’s personal. You know if you have them. 

Being modest doesn’t make you zero. It creates a projection that not everything needs to be shown, explained and described, it will all come through if necessary. 

Aim for the sky but keep your feet on the ground .

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Mine forever, Yours Forever

We find love in the most unlikely places and at the most unexpected time. Well, that's pretty much our story. It was when I got used to being by myself, living a routine apart from just taking baby steps into my PG journey, that we were fated to find each other. Though the thought of him and talks about him had always kept me interested, they were very casual. The initial stage of knowing each other was certainly overwhelming and full of confusions accompanied with much conflicts. But it is true what people say, you heart will tell you if he's the one. Purely instincts. 

As time passed , when layers of differences began to surface , we struggled to not argue, he probably clenched his fist at many instances to guard the relationship and then there was me, fighting my own battle with expectations and acceptance. Truth be told, we are not one of those couples who is all rainbows and sunshine every day, every moment. I believe in uniqueness of every relationship and how messed up sometimes things are and also how some days we forget every single flaw of our partner and live heaven on Earth. The best feeling though is, to feel both the sweetness and bitterness at the same time. To have an argument yet going to bed knowing it's going to be alright the next day, realizing he is my every day and forever no matter what challenges might drive us apart.

Let's speak of differences. Men and women aren't made the same. We may complete each other but not necessarily a unified puzzle piece which fits perfectly in all angles. We have flaws, in fact we are all indeed  flawed. Probably I'm extra flawed in my pursuit of perfection.

Point blank,  differences aren't always good when it comes to relationships but they are not so bad either as long as two people are persistent in holding on to each other. I want this, he wants that. Setting all those glitches aside I found things in him that I've never seen in much men I know.I guess I'd never find someone who  could suppress his male ego and wait for the right time even to correct me and not lash out in the heat of the moment or even speak my flaws to his closest kin. Someone who respects me and my feelings in every way possible though I'm one tough cookie to crack. Instead of saying we fell for each other, it's the best fit to put it as, "We learned to love each other."

People in our lives aren't delivered to us as a perfect package with the prettiest ribbon. It certainly took me some time to learn this fact. We need the will and effort to save them place in our heart. Despite all the denials and uncertainties that occupied my mind, it was him, I always knew it will be him. And time, the greatest healer and the mightiest path of truth proved how much this man means to me and how he has and will turn my life around. 

If love is the fruit of patience, learning to love is the art of patience. If we hadn't had those misunderstandings and conflicts, I don't think I would have realized what a gem of a person he is. Not to sugarcoat anything but I have never been so proud of a man and to be called his, ever so excited to let the whole world know he is mine forever. Though the next phase is a big step leading to adventures of different kinds , of happiness and bittersweet moments, I know we are gonna be alright.

I'm never letting go , so does he.

 I'm in love.

 I'm in love with the best man I have and will ever meet. 

This is for you, love. You know who you are ♥♥♥

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

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Let it go

“Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.”

― Albert Schweitzer

Let days pass, let things happen because that's the most natural course of life. Life just happens to us despite our desire and urge to resist. Sometimes power is the enemy in disguise and the control we crave upon our lives is the ultimate weapon in assistance to destruct happiness. It took me years to realize the ability to let loose is the right way of living. I have spent years trying to fix this and that, change my now and know all out before leaping but those were the days I was the least happy. Wasn't much of a risk taker I'd say. That's not the case though.  It is indeed the fear of failing and the fear that someone else will live your live for you is what drives people closer to have a blueprint for every aspect of their lives.

For me, letting go of the firm grip was a purely an unconscious process. It happened and realization came when I was already halfway down the carefree route to happiness. Reflecting back, experiences and mostly people I met were the main cause. It may not always be something personal and anything that I went through. There were instances in which I played the spectator who was hooked enough to let it influence me without too much of analyzing and judging that could have possibly returned me towards the pre-made plans.

We can learn from others' lives as much as we learn from our own, given we keep an open mind. I've met people who are simply amazing or should I say, chose to look beyond the imperfections in their lives because they know the value of happiness and spreading it to the world. I desire not to speak about flaws and weakness, life has not taught but made me to search and find what I have to discover at this point of my life. And I found happiness in spreading smiles and laughing at every struggle I face. Life is not meant to be taken too seriously, anyway. 

We cry today, we laugh tomorrow. Everything happens for a reason so find shade under the tree of happiness!

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Freedom is a choice

It was just a few days before my 24th birthday that I decided to opt out from Facebook and now it has been a month away from the ever so-coveted social networking site. Well given the past, this isn't at all a new scenario since I have deactivated my Facebook for countless times in the past few years, for numerous reasons which somehow in some ways navigated me back where I wanted to elude. I was undecided. Safe to say, most people are indeed undecided. While there are kids trying to snoop into it disregarding their parents' opinions, there are Gen-Ys getting sick and bored of the brag-worthy filtered-life filling the void between conversations and work.

The intention to leave is there however, it is also followed by the dread of FOMO ( Feeling Of Missing Out). As much as some of us want the world to talk about the most general of things, people actually, are just impossibly generous with their knowledge of people which is unfortunate. Sitting at lunch discussing over a friend's new life event which you apparently missed, isn't cool. Or to be precise, will not be accepted as cool. While your degree of coolness decreases and ego gets bruised, you will then be reminded of what an alien you are among that group of friends. Not to burst your bubble but waving goodbye to your sense of belonging is hard because that without a doubt is a basic human need, blame Maslow. The next thing you know you are scrolling hungrily to feed yourself everything you've missed or in another simple, blunt note is called 'stalking'.

If you are all set  to survive the awkwardness, there comes another complication. Something is extremely wrong with society these days but it's hard to blame it on them. I guess you'd admit if I were to claim Facebook to be the most convenient platform for file sharing if you are not in an organization which wants things to be done the right way instead of the easy way, or perhaps simply has restricted you access to the site during office hours. Isn't it just so easy to drag a couple of files while you still keep up with the ever-updating feeds? Yes, Google drive was invented for a reason so does iCloud, Evernote etc but who cares right? Considering the "innovation", people assume Facebook to be the next big thing they should never abandon.

Let's just say you are prepared to stand by the pain of organizing a storage drive, you just feel the emptiness of life in between tv commercials, awkward moments while waiting for your food and a weird sense of guilt over the reason behind the smartphone in your grip. Then you bounce back ! I had those reasons messing my stand and many more I can't elaborate yet I've survived. Perhaps it would sound really wrong to say I kind of don't miss it anymore. Everything mentioned above are temptations which are indeed possible to overcome. I fought those excuses to alternatives which eventually formed new habits. I'm happy up to this point.

Facebook isn't bad as long as it isn't an addiction. The problem though is, are you sure you're not a slave yet? On a different note, do you even care? Stick to what matters to you. I just done, at least amidst this ever-increasing pile of work .

Renuka G

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Hatred a disease

Hate is one of the few words one can't define positively. Some people shout it out loud in silence while the rest give it a real voice in the most protruded manner. While there are claims of courage, the act of valour flashes headlines in the social media as if it's an uncertainty in the truth or perhaps another side to the story which has rather been chosen to be masked. Well, people are complicated, so am I. It frazzled me though, moments in life I felt some kind of sympathy and an unfathomable confusion of to what extent hatred go move a person.

Perhaps it's a simple struggle of power or an onerous acceptance towards the concept of sharing, I can't be sure. Like looking down from the top of the world  feeling like you're in control and marking a territory with a bunch of people chasing everyone else as a threat, hate is all about ego. I don't think there's a better word to conclude that feeling. It's utterly cold and a purely negative state of mind to hate when there's so much to share in this world to make it a better place. To dislike is temporary, hatred is indeed toxic.

It comes back to humanity at the end of the day. Instead of all good things, we magnify hatred putting forth our intolerable ego only to forget how bad the whole thing reflects on us. We claim to be ourselves by projecting those emotions out but, our negativity is spreading elsewhere thus affecting our own circle and the world at whole. All for what? To rain on someone's personality? To humiliate them? To influence others? I guess it's not worth the bid.

Again, hatred is toxic. Once you hate someone, you are blinded to their good side. When you can't see the good in someone, you get too busy trying to pin down their flaws. You indulge in the power of criticism only to fall on your face when even without you realizing your own people start resenting you. Just like the numerous typed hidden-speeches, you would become a secretly loathed person.

For a world free of hatred!

Renuka G

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Into the Wild

People read for various reasons. I read to be inspired. Perhaps that's why I don't simply walk into the bookstore and pick a read. Books that I've read and had a hard time to let go are the ones which crossed me by accident. Though cheesy and love story-ish it might sound, it is indeed undeniable that I'm fussy when it comes to books. Most of my collections are either a movie or true story. I believe in learning and these stories are truly inspiring to the extent of addiction and of course self-realization.

My recent read is Into the wild by Jon Krakauer. I hadn't read any books after Gone Girl till I came across this one. It's the story of a young boy named Johnson McCandless who abandoned his good life and dearest possessions to travel 'into the wild'. He died tragically but that's not the case. The life he lived was without a doubt remarkable with top notch values for his age.

There's something about his perspective of life which sets him apart for any random person 'living'. He was blessed with everything a normal teenager would desire yet, why he left? What was his quest? And at the end of the story will you see him like just another reckless idiot who abandoned his good life or as something else? These questions would make you turn the pages . It's for the thinkers who evaluate moral codes in a non judgmental manner. It's for people who understand 'things' and the value of each of those in life at whole.

Going footloose is of course intriguing and exciting, given the recent trend, it is also rather glamorous. The association of travel with escape is a cliche-connection people use to sculpt their stories of independent-self with much pride. Johnson was rather humble. He knew the world has flawed codes and he was sick of the society which he phrased as a 'crazy-breed'.  He was complaining, profusely complaining. Unlike the crowd, he set out to live the life which he believed in. His journey was not a glamorous road. His passion for new horizons were not mere words. His adventures were novel. Most importantly, his experiences were something one can never imagine to risk. He wanted to be lost to feel alive. Death was predictable yet nothing mattered more than his bond with the roads he took.

It's not like a story you want to live. Just one capable of making you reason choices in life and the beauty of the real universe without the 'things' people feel obsessed over which in return possess them in a way or another. This book is of class! A walk away from civilization so close to fiction with every page of adept descriptions teaching something this world has  now been missing.

Johnson McCandless lived, his story tells the rest.

Renuka G

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Justice served

It was just a week ago that I walked out from one of my postgrad classes feeling utterly defeated. I can't explain the choice of word but that was the first thought which came forth on that moment.

Well, they say if there's a time in your life you could do anything and not apologize for it would be your 20s. This is where it is acceptable even to get an ugliest tattoo and spare the regrets for the next decade. I have about 6 years left. Is that too little? Look, I'm not greedy for more. It was an unexplainable guilt over my ambitions. 

It's like moving along an army of ants feeling  completely hopeless about my choices. Everyone is moving so quick in different directions and journeys which looks so extravagant with the assistance of photo editing apps. And there I was  just another ant carrying the pursuit of an extra paper qualification on my back.

Perhaps it is not all so tragic as it sounds. I love that I'm moving forward with my dreams at my own pace . Sometimes the proverbial grass just messes with my path. So yes I was feeling defeated. Cancelling on my trip to Indonesia only to make myself available for the classes during the holidays, frankly was depressing. But as every other troublesome emotions, that too passed.

The hectic days have become routines instead. To my 20s, I'm still doing justice by traveling locally whenever possible and enjoying every bit of my free days with something new in it . I'm still crazy and happy! 

I guess our 20s deserve nothing less than that!

Renuka G

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The Turning Point

So everything has finally started. It was indeed a hectic week with 3 days of travelling back and forth to Skudai after school. And then came UPSR. All so frenzy and without a single doubt, exhausting. I was basically rushing right after school, having my snack-like-lunch in the car, stopped at the rest area for a quick face wash and attended the lectures which lasted till 7pm. Crazy times two or perhaps 5. Reaching home close to 9 at night, leaves me no time for gym or any empty idling session either. It's like a schedule resembling tuna in a can. Tightly packed. That's a sort of hyperbole I guess. But trust me, it is not an overstatement.

The whole situation is like what Piper Chapman mentioned in OITNB.

I'm indeed trying to climb Everest in flip flops. Truth be told, I have no serious plans in my head yet about this M.Ed TESL thing. I just wanna learn and use English more and more eventually, improving my proficiency. It's simply my mad love for English that made me commit to this crazy thing. Call me ambitious, call me stupid, I'm willing to surrender. There's something about learning new things that excites me and English is definitely a drug that has made me a happy addict.

Even though I could finish my masters in 2 years time, I've decided to take it slow. At least a little slow. It's better to not go all out and quit due to pressure. Slow and steady baby! I'm planning to stretch till 2.5 to 3 years. I'm working and my work demands lots of energy. By 1.10pm, I am already half dead but I'm sacrificing my cosy bed, stepping out from my comfort zone for something good. I have always believed comfort zone is a dead end, hence, the rest is justified.

Promoting :p

I have no idea how rough this M.Ed journey would be. Up to this point, I'm adapting and trying to get comfortable about being uncomfortable. I once came across a quote which says 'You can never be overdressed or overeducated.' I have zero doubts about it. I wanna fight my way up to Ph.D. Apart from that, my plans of getting my exercise science cert and baking dreams still goes on. At time moment, I just wish to minimize the many many tabs. I'm curious where this road would lead me.
Fingers crossed.

Still having all the fun in the world!

There's so much to learn. There's so much to do. Life is never going to be boring! At least for me :D







Renuka G

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Re-route

It was sometime ago that I  realised comfort zone is a dead end. Trust me, a dead end is always a bad news ! Someone once told me, if it feels good then it's not normal. We are not designed to live by a set of rules and routines. In contrast, our body is like a mechanism tuned to frequently adapt and run through various circumstances. Discovering a robot was the impossible made possible not the robot itself. And who did it? A man of course. Hence, don't waste your inner strength !

Comfort zone at the end of the day only creates humans who are static and satisfied. One accomplisment and they are done with their lives. Soon they will pamper their capabilities in vain, deflating them a little more by day till they are gone without a trace. These people are what I could call the joggers. They jog and they repeat and they are satisfied. If you ask them to run, they will quote numerous articles that says why they shouldn't. The one-goal-per life examples, I should say.

Those who run over that bunch is called the go-getters. They don't limit themselves to just one dream. They run through every course of life with new visions and gather more as they progress. Some convict them of being unrealistic, foolish and the mighty description of all would be ' ambitious '! Yet they turn their ears deaf and keep marching forward. Though sometimes a couple of  steps could make them look less of a human, like trying to commit some insane acts of bravery as if they hadn't known fear, they are actually very much like any of you. It's just that they weigh their risks with the fruits they will someday bask.

Success could come either way. What you should decide is your definition of it and the means of achieving it.

You can either pick to cross your legs and act like you have conquered the world or you can always run like the world has no end. It's a matter of choice. Whatever your choice is, stop drooling at the proverbial grass on the other side.

Life is too awesome to be living in envy!🙈

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The Vision

While we were making headlines in some local newspapers this morning, an incident at school hit me real hard inside. Honestly speaking, I admit I'm not much of a teacher from within. I do my job. I take responsibilities seriously and that's that. Sometimes, just sometimes I get really overwhelmed with certain things which afflicts me. I dislike kids, true. However, sympathy is an emotion I shower my pupils with because I know they deserve it.

I was having basically sharing with a colleague about the frustrations and disappointments I land myself in every day because of the pupils' lack of effort and zero ambition. It was not a surprise that we were in the same boat. That was when she told me something which saddened me beyond belief. This is not my passion. This is not even close to what I wanted to be. But this feeling is real. I was upset when she revealed what these kids will eventually become someday. The girls will either be working after high school or married. The boys go astray. Those who actually make it to the university are so few, what more those who really succeeds and leave a mark?

For some reasons, I feel some of us are very lucky to be born in a place where education is attainable and accessible. Plus we are blessed to be born in a family which values the ability to read and write than petty skills and norms. These kids, not all but most of them are unfortunate. One of the reason I could coin based on their attitude would be lack of inspiration. They have nobody's success to drool at. The only influence they have is the TV channels which repeatedly air programmes full of sobbing, revenge and everything negative enough to spoil a kid's thoughts into an adult's mind-frame. They do not enjoy internet access like we do. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad one yet, for a kid to not know who is Mahatma Gandhi and their own state is a serious issue I guess.

There are countless number of problems and issues within this small community and the children are simply the scapegoat of a reality which have been going on for years or perhaps decades.
It's a sad case scenario indeed.
Who to blame?
Who to change?
How to transform?
I guess every single teacher with or without passion would at least once thought about this. But in a place as such, heat of the moment would be a joy to watch yet it gets cold real fast and the next thing you know the past repeats itself somehow or someway. It's similar  to a pendulum which sways with a push so fast and gets slow , eventually stopping at point . The next push and no matter how many more that comes won't last forever, either.

Sympathy, anger and frustration are mundane routines which leave me with guilt. Perhaps my expectations are high. Maybe I'm trying too hard that I fail the same way. I feel lost figuring the small steps which leads to a big change. The hope is there still, though. When there's a will, there's a way, right?

Renuka G

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M.Ed and the now

As the next step towards more progress draws closer, I'm starting to wonder if I have done enough being a teacher. Given a chance, I'd definitely ditch teaching and do something else but that's a vision away from reality. The position I am at in my life puts me under a circumstance which mandates me to bow down to certain responsibilities . 

I was in one of my English classes when I started to look deeply into the pupils in front me. I wasn't talking nor were they. I was just watching them thinking, how do I fix this? Kids who still speak English in words instead of sentences. Those who pronounce 'a' as 'ehh'. Not forgetting some who makes my head explode just to explain one simple word. Am I missing something?

My next step would be a huge one. Doing masters be it part time or full time is not going to be a piece of cake. The only option is to juggle,somehow ,someway . Prior to that, something has to change. It's the ultimate question of ego and pride. To consider myself someone who deserves a postgrad degree in TESL, I have to be an English teacher who could transform and bring about change. 

That's the mission!

Renuka G

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The Nights

"One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember."

You don't have to be rich

You need not be famous

You just have to live

Do things that makes you feel good.

Do things you know makes you proud someday remembering them.

Wanna jump? Jump.

Wanna scream? Do it.

You have nothing to fear but your own self.

You don't have to hold back because somebody's watching.

One life, so live!

You will be remembered for all the fears you conquered.

You will be remembered for the paths you took.

You might be gone someday but you will still live somehow.

Renuka G

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Run from the clichés

If only running actually solves problems, many of us wouldn't  take off our shoes . However since it apparently doesn't , at least in most instances, we invent excuses. I was presumably convinced that it all rooted from childhood itself . It began the moment we blamed our mediocre achievements on the tuition classes we were denied, our ignorance of the school rules on the teachers' inconsistency, and hiding under the shades of that-person-does-it-too excuses, we thrived. 

The second phase of life hits later. It is obviously not mandotory for if it has been then many wouldn't have been stuck at the previous. This phase is called growing up. What a cliché! Not all grows up, exceptions seem like a rule in this case. So to feel any form of attachment to this post, you should be in the correct stage. If you aren't, the rest would be a relief. 

When you grow up, you allegedly run out of excuses. It isn't a requirement or a norm forced onto an individual. It is merely a choice you are obliged to make as , well, a grown up. This time around you can't hide behind the mistakes of your parents who carved your dreams for you, nor blame the society and religion for the person you are becoming. You are entirely your own responsibility.  The stage where you learn the real meaning of consequences and regrets and most importantly, risks. You run out of excuses.

The next minor event in this stage would be the owning up to your state. It doesn't matter whether you fail, fall, succeed or stand naked to the world, you take the blame. Fixing is the art you master and control all by yourself. You could surrender and get back playing the blame game but that's child's play when you are here. They are still in the cards laid out yet nobody takes pride in cowardice . Or do you? 

I don't know about the people out there and their excuses. Excuses scream comfort to me and comfort is synonymous with stale. It gets boring, eventually.

 Give me a little fight for my survival! Throw me an obstacle. I rather start fresh again and again than grow stale with the rest of benched players .  I made a choice, to be and stay a grown up.

Renuka G

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Identity-conflicts

Don't hate or love someone so much! You will end up exactly mirroring them. Your jealousy and desire to be them will reflect unconsciously and reveal itself without much realisation .

People often end up the spitting image of either their best friend or their most loathed enemy . However, there are also cases in which a person acts like a sponge which absorbs everything they see and the next thing you know they are at the bookstore getting the books someone was reading , taking up new routines like admiring the moon or even develop new interests like fitness etc like in the page they saw . I wouldn't necessarily say it's a bad thing. But let's pause for a moment this whole permeable membrane's activities.

Who are you? Would you rather be defined by the things you picked up from the others or the ones you actually found within yourself? I'm a writer, and I became a veracious reader because I had to read in order to write. I did it for my passion. I became a fitness enthusiast because I have goals. Nobody came into my life and moved me into trying all these. Is it that hard to discover your passion?

Passion starts with goals. What are your goals? It is very amusing to watch people who didn't retire bad mouthing others and being a part of the so-acclaimed social network warriors who fight problems online actually end up something they are not. Be warned , hatred is a sign of jealousy and an emotion showing you want something the other person has. Plus, reading someone's blog everyday could make you drawn into the other person's interests instead of yours.

Think for your own well-being people! Do you want to be yourself or a person whole stole numerous identities to sculpture your image ? You might have mocked someone who went too generous on lipstick or someone's poses, but what have you become now? Don't end up a statistic.

There is something about originality that is inspiring. I think people with unique interest and passion are the ones who awe the world. If you keep trying to prove something by mocking others or mirroring them, where are you heading?  And one day you can't even define yourself in an About Me column that you have to copy-paste it from other sources. 

Once again be warned, hatred and love could wipe off your identity altogether!  The world is full of copy cats . You either jump off and save yourself now or sit along and play the guessing game . 

Renuka G

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Fat-fat-fit

So today's mission was to calculate body fat percentage!

When it comes to being fit, the best way of measure would be this. BMI and your weighing scale cannot speak the amount of truth your body fat percentage could tell. You may be skinny-fat, or a case like Arnold Schwarzenegger who had a whopping BMI of 30.2 ,classified obese yet
 had a very minimum body fat.

There are a few ways to calculate body fat percentage. One of it would the calculator available in numerous sites which requires your waist, wrist, hip and forearm circumference apart from your weight. The results are explained briefly in the table .

My result is at fit-level, 23%! I guess that a good news! My waist circumference used to be 27 inches and now it has reduced by 7 inches. I realized it's not all about the number on the scale. I feel stronger, more energetic and I fit better into my clothes.

My next mission is to strive for 20-21%. All I have to do is stay committed to the gym, eat healthy and get enough rest.

Definitely a happy kid today!

Renuka G

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The Shortcut-Shame

Most people are only known for their unknown shortcuts they take. When it comes to the notion of being skinny and fit, many would like to delusionaly assume that they are the latter. 

Alright, let me get this straight! You don't get fit in a week, but you can get skinny and make the dumb crowd believe you are full of muscles in just 2 days.

Trust me, it only takes 2 days and 2 things. First of all, you need a little cardio and know a few workouts. Next is the ultimate go-to solution for girls worldwide , starve! These two things are easy. Especially when you are desperate to look slim for a date or an event, they could come handy. After the show is over, a week later, the reality sips in with an impressive pooch. Oh yea, very fit indeed.

As much as it is easy to look slim and skinny, nothing is more lasting and fulfilling as being toned and fit. People work for weeks and months just to see the change while some people flash their skinny figure as an inspiration for fools. When you are thin, your body could still be full of fats whereas a toned-physique won't give you that pillow-ish hug. Muscles are hard, fats are equivalent to flabby. I guess that's not rocket science.

One important thing to remember, fit people actually eat . It's just that they don't overindulge in processed and unhealthy food while consistent practising portion control in their meals. So the next time you feel flat because you sip green tea and ate crackers for days, don't get overjoyed over the accomplishment. You are nowhere close to being healthy. Save yourself the memory space of your phone. 

To be fit and toned, one need to lift, eat healthy and get enough rest to recover for the next gym visit. The effort and sweat and pain , I call that inspiring and share-worthy. If you pamper yourself with light cardio and do squats with your knees crossing your toes, go home! 

I support strong women. Shortcuts are embrassing.

Renuka G

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They own you

What's with our generation ?

What's with material possessions and wants ?

Things we own , end up owning us. True enough. It's a simple case of getting a pet to pat and ending up serving it like a slave. We buy expensive things , we chase after luxury names, we prey on the prettiest and the most good looking in the bunch , all to finally become submissive to them.

While it could sound a little impractical to live without everything mentioned, is it possible to not be owned and defined by everything we possess? 

Can you reside in an extravagant mansion and disregard the security ? Can you walk around flashing your platinum cards and rings without being called out for some illegal misdoings just because you fail to convince the society of your true capabilities ?

 Is it possible to not be owned? Whether mentally or physically, can one stop whatever at hand from getting into your head? 

And amidst this tricky situation, would you dare limit your possessions to set yourself free from being claimed? Does the price of freedom higher in value compared to the profit of possessions? Dare you sacrifice the latter to survive the world? Or are you ready to be succumbed and be made into slaves of your most coveted wants?

And finally, how do you own without being owned ?

Renuka G

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Death and Cynicism

Is it tragic or funny?

To live our entire lives pursuing happiness and finally to finish with death. Like climbing over the rainbow only to land on a pointy sword, how tragic? Or it's just our poor sense of humour denying the huge yet simple joke?

I watched a movie the other day which caught me thinking about the euphemisms. Things are actually pretty rough and sad and pathetic but we try so hard to smile with guns in our head. Some do succeed. How impressive is it? And with that, again I wonder, have these happy crowds in the universe come to terms with death? Are you happy because you genuinely are or is it a pursuit to conceal the tragic end?  Even worse, could it be just a handshake over an agreement to sacrifice and gain mutually in the space between everything and death? If running is all about crossing the finish line, does how you run matter at all?

The one inseparable subject with death would be his kin, FEAR. So which fear is worse? The fear of not living or the fear of death? And to what extent who you go to conquer them? You can't cheat death but can you make it any better? To all the optimists of the world, why are you so happy? Or maybe, just maybe they actually got the joke.

That silly joke of how a man goes so high to fall deep down. It's the simple law of gravity understood by all .God bless Newton and all science references ! The question here is, which law then is applicable for our life-scene?

 It's a mere joke. The most cynical joke of all. You can sit with a box of tissue and sulk all you want. Screw that! Perhaps it would be better if you imagine a  silly man on a trampoline going gaga, landing on the ground planting his whole shape onto the grass and tell yourself the genre of life is comedy.

As simple as that, everything is actually funny.

You don't have to laugh from your heart, sometimes it's satisfying to laugh with your head. Your mind is a powerful tool hence, learn to narrate, learn some humour. Death is tragic, perhaps the most tragic of all nouns. Remember, Shakespeare wrote tragedies with such cynical plot and the most twisted characters because he knew the secret. The cure to a tragic end is nothing. The journey to a tragic end though, begs humour for, without that all lame things becomes extra pretentious. Forcing yourself to enjoy simple pleasure, trying so hard to be happy, clenching your teeth on every fall? Oh, come on! Life is a joke. Don't make a fool out of yourself. Direct your play, enjoy the scenes. You don't have to be a clown, you just have to know to manipulate your characters.

Fear not the end, fear a stale plot.

Renuka G

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Go ahead, fuss!

I'm not complaining. Believe it if you are dumb ! I apparently, most certainly, without a single percent of doubt ,am complaining. How else would you sanely and rationally put it?

I could possibly be in denial. The condition in which a person justifies everything favoring to one's own fairytale-ish thoughts. But unfortunately you can't frame me on that this time . This is a shameless confession on my presumably self-destructive behavior. Or better put as an idea.

I'm complaining. I took me a long while to figure the name for the ongoing process for I was constantly tapping on the imaginary denial button in my head which was pretty fun to play with, honestly speaking. I could conclude from the end findings which followed the revelation, I wasn't actually doomed. To my relief, I wasn't.

What's wrong with complaining ? Have you had like one day in your life that you accept every single thing which happened? It could be the simplest ones like the morning alarm to phone notifications, we all have something that ticks us off . We wear our complaints the same way we wear our shades. Whenever necessary! It doesn't matter if it's RayBan or the one from an accessory shop behind your house, classiest or a useless complaint, we are certainly guilty of some. Or maybe not? Think again.

I guess complaints are fine. As long as you are not miserable everyday, it is of course alright to whine and lament. Our head do need quick intense surge of emotions like annoyance and anger combined in speedball motion now and then to just set us apart from robots and other gadgets the technology has given birth to. The only thing that makes us who we are, the Humans. 

I have complaints. Sometimes I can't even stop listing because they never end. It's so long I could make or break a record if there's any. But duhh, like I care? My complaints are comfortably occupying my head space not as a tenant but merely the furniture. Fully controlled by me. I move them, destroy them and manipulate them how-so-ever I wish. 

And I  believe a man without complaints is a man without thoughts. Come on, who wants to be that? 

Renuka G

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The blank war

It was frequent stares at blank spaces ! Like blank, blank , blank and more blanks . What are these things telling me? 

There's a vacuum in my head. I'm having a love-hate relationship with this state. I wanna be blank at the same time I need to free myself from this. 

Have you heard of a man in a meditation cave trying to persuade God to reside within him? The pure abuse of the purpose of meditation itself, the silence. It's the same case at a different setting. Chasing for peace at the same time starting a war. 

I want this blank space. I want to just go silent and let things be whatever they are. Let the universe spin the way it should, like how the wise people prescribed! But that would be unambitious, mediocre and too easy. Probably 'easy' won't fit the note, the rest sure does.

The joy of thinking so less crossed by the anger of stillness. Imagine reading a book and stopping halfway to figure the writer's head and your comprehension and not meeting in between. Exactly the dilemma. 

Had I not wanted this? To let things just be! Now that I'm there, what is this conflict? I'm too driven , I have grown too ambitious and more selfish than I've ever been. My pursuits won't bow to this vacuum. 

The typical quest of need versus wants it boils down to. I need the blanks to stay sane but I'm constantly rebelling the state in the fear of being just someone among everybody else . I'm at peace yet I choose to set it free in order to welcome the chaos. 

I'm in trouble. The new definition of trouble designed for this case, the state when one's wants subvert his/her needs. I'm in so much trouble. I can't see regrets  , only confusions. What would I do when these spaces are all filled?

Will my wants ruin altogether the stability at my grip? Will I end up as one of those people who lost themselves in pursuit of dreams? Or am I setting out only to come back to where I started ? 

Renuka G

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