Dignity on discount

Have you ever sensed how suddenly an item on sale becomes extra attractive? Just like that, I guess some things and people in our lives become or to be accurate, are made more appealing when the situation favours our demands. 

An ex whom you thought the worst person you have ever met, in desperate moments reincarnate into a shelter you rush in simply because you feel he would go with it. We incline towards going against our principles and choices we once made as soon as we hit rock bottom.

 Similar to an item on sale, we go crazy over things of old seasons only because the situation has dolled them up now. 

Does a sweater which was once the least you desired comfort you fine only because you could pay for it ? 

Do you treat things in life the same way?

Renuka G

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End of Degree

Five and a half years of journey and not dedicating a post to honour it would be a shame. 

They say everything starts with a dream. My life in IPGM though kicked off with lots of tears, disappointments, did severe damage to my self-esteem yet progressed somehow. Life begins at the end of one's comfort zone, couldn't agree more. Despite all that broke me and wound me, I survived. The credit definitely goes to the wonderful souls I met along the way. Some who sat beside me and listened, the rest who touched my life from a far distance. Thank you is not suffice to show how much I appreciate your kindness. 

There were phases so tormenting I came pass. The fact that I am calm enough today to recall them is just the power of time which turned things over. Nothing lasts forever is both a happy and sad phrase. In this case it is most certainly something I am smiling while writing it down. I don't know your story but this is mine. Speaking from my perspective, all that I am now is everything that happened to me. My past made me myself. Even though it was never in my dreams to teach, the five years were a journey of self-discovery of a kind. I have no grand confessions that my interests have changed, I love what I am doing, I can't wait to be working. No. I can't lie to myself. That is what I learnt.

For many years I lived that way. Lying to myself, giving myself excuses, refusing to accept what is right in front of my eyes, denying reality, trying to be someone I am not. But every single mistake gave me a lesson which I fortunately took as a voice from above. Instincts were a good companion I should say.  I didn't change because I wanted to, it was the call of circumstances that somehow made a huge impact on the person I am. It took me half a decade to finally discover my passion and build my dreams. Along the way I also picked up some great truths about people, relationships and the course of life in general. My story so far seem perfect with the flaws and damages because that is what it was meant to be like. And I am happy to  be holding the pen still.

This degree means so little compared to the experiences but it is of course the milestone which will bring me closer to my dreams. Yes I know what I want to do, like finally.

People sometimes have an unrealistic image of what life should be like and jumps into comparing theirs with the person beside them. It doesn't work that way. We all will achieve different things at different stages after different struggles and different experiences. Life begins when you believe that you too are entitled for success and happiness though not at this right moment, at the same level with someone else. Dream, believe in it, work hard and don't stop till you bask the fruits. That is what I learnt. Nothing beats a strong heart and mind. Once you get the perfect balance of both, you are on your way towards something great.

While some of my peers are celebrating, I am still positively outlining my route to success. I can't wait to make my dreams come true. I am happy what I did not enjoy showed me what I should be doing. Who knew, right?

Never underestimate the experiences life put you through, there's a reason behind everything that had happened. I am humbled and I am thankful. Having said that, I would like wish everyone in my life well and good luck in their future undertakings. You all made this possible.

Renuka G

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Le Memoire Night 2014

classic!

Just a few more pit-stops before I bid farewell to Terengganu. Whatever the future holds, I hope I will always have the most precious bunch of friends that I have found here by my side.

I can't exactly say if it was a rough road or a pleasant journey, but it was made better by all the people I met along the way. 

Without the experiences and lessons, I wouldn't have been who I am today. Thank you for the best moments and cheers to more!

With love,

Renuka G

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That extent

Oh lord, I can't believe this feeling. It all started with a dream. Not the one you sow within yourself and reap after years of hard work, it is the one you get when reality shuts off with your eyes. I had a dream, a dream like I was being chased. Way too much running, way too many people, in various places and I could not recall the reason. 

In the morning when I am all conscious, curiosity kicked in. Honestly speaking, I am not one of those superstitious bunch who hunts down the meaning behind dreams and the symbols in it. So it might come as a huge surprise if I were to say, the impossible actually took place. Oh boy, I goggled it!

Sorry cats, curiosity fortunately did not kill me, literally, but it sure did in a much harmless manner. Just in case you all did not already know, let me explain what running in a dream means. 

"To dream that you are running away from someone indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions."

So that was it. Two sentences pricking on me like a thorn since morning and even worse, I know exactly what the issues were. On a different note, it is pretty funny how some things can even find a way into your mind consequently, morphing into a dream. As my practical inner voice whispers, it might be purely coincidental. However, realizing resolving is better than keep running, I am going to take it as a sign. 

I have spent years running away from some feelings, fears and events. At times the fact that I love to escape some instances, it plagues me. Most people actually do not like to confront problems , instead they prefer to run some distance before doing so or flee right away the moment it starts. I am one of them. Ignorance is bliss, I faithfully believe that. The harsh truth though is, I am a coward. Those who flee mostly, in fact are .

Some nights I sit here wondering for how long I'm going to isolate some thoughts and problems just to stay in peace. Now I discovered peace is only for those who face their fears and address their problems, not for those who build walls and engage filters. 

Running is cool. It's like telling the world you do not care about whatever in the present or past . But what's the point of painting the cool portrait when reality mirrors a face with thousand worries? Something to ponder indeed. 

Renuka G

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