One Kind

There’s just one kind of folks in this world. I do truly agree with this notion by Harper lee in To kill A mockingbird. it can be translated in many ways but I choose one angle to  put spotlight on.

Taking a trip down the memory lane, we refresh the values we were instilled with when we were young. A vox populi explaining the world! Something that goes like this: there are good people and bad people in the world, the good people get a free ride to heaven while the bad ones will burn in hell! So be the good one.  This idea is instilled in each and every one of us when the word maturity itself is still alien, the only reason why this belief this persists! I'm not saying it is a wrong notion but allow me to make some amendments to it.

The world is not branched into good people and bad people but it is people with both good and bad sides. No one is delivered into this home of ours as a fully bad person or as a baby-forever man. Human body parts are paired so is human himself/herself. We are paired , two sides we possess, good side and bad side! Its like pros and cons in things, here it is personified.

Just like enzymes that triggers chemical reactions, circumstances take control here. It acts as an enzyme that results in the appearance of either the good side or the bad one. If you ask me whether it is voluntary , yes I suppose. It is of course done with ones conscious mind. My point is not that, what I'm trying to explain is there are no such notion as good people and bad people. We have both sides within us. So don’t be judgemental.

Yeah that is the point! Judgemental. People are being judgemental. Just because someone uses foul words we label them as bad and conclude and tie a ribbon that they are fully BAD. When someone goes to temple, we automatically set in mind that he/she belongs in the Good bunch, till the next day you see him/her in the pub. Then you re-label again. And it goes on..

Ever been labelled? Ever labelled someone yourself?  Everyone’s done both, sometimes it’s benign, sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s a bad thing.  It starts from an early age and continues through life. I remember being thought of not to label others but those who thought me do this labelling activity as well. Even I do that. I think it is human nature. And I think that if you are ‘aware’ you are doing it, you should try to stop. Nobody likes being put in a category. Well, this goes to me as well.

Treat people equally. Because we are all puppets moved by circumstances. So blame circumstances, no harm in that. When you blame people, when you label them, then  it hurts. Each of us are the same, we have the two sides, what makes a difference here is that how often we use one, and this is purely the fault of circumstances. 

So ya there is only one kind of folks in this world. The one and only kind with both good and bad side. Next time when you see people, label their sides not they themselves.

This is My good side.

RnZiouS

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i Will Se3 Me

Today I'm here,
Kneeling down staring into the pond
I see a blurred reflection of mine
A stone toss and he flies away
Short enough I couldn’t admire.

Tomorrow I will come,
Kneeling down staring into the pond
I will see the clear me
A stone toss yet he will stay
Long enough I could live.

Of the more tomorrows to arrive
As the new me I relive
The yesterday full of asperities

RnZIous

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An End With a 'To b3 cOntiNUed..'

Wow its the end of Foundation programme!!! 1.5 years is OVER just like that. Can’t believe that tomorrow when i board my flight, I will only be back in 2011. Hmm in this 1 and half years I faced many ups and downs, things that changed my life and made decisions that would change my life forever. Next year when I step back to IPG I will be  a B.ed TESL student!! How exciting!! Its like I'm 19 and I will be doing my degree with no worries as there is a job waiting for me out there.

6 weeks of holidays to be enjoyed, gonna spoil myself to the max!! I got a list of movies to be watched, places to go, delicacies to indulge myself in, yada yada. Cant wait honestly!! There is no place like home and of course there is no place like my second home too. I'm soo gonna miss IPG, not literally IPG but more like the people here. My lovely friends!! Daily routine of waking up, walking in search of water, sleeping like nobody’s business, refreshing facebook over and over again, eating together in a room, talking with a ‘chicky’ voice, calling my friends with weirdo names ,saying HI for no reason, poking my friends etc etc. In short, I'm soo gonna miss this place for 6 weeks.

have a safe journey back home

For the first time in 1.5 years I will be going back without any stress, pending assignments, or anything perhaps. Everything is done at foundation level, so I'm going back just to enjoy and nothing less than that. Wow no more cold bath  in the morning nor evening, no more waiting in cafe, no more walks in search of water, no more giant nor mydin and lots more of no-more-s!!

From tomorrow onwards there is no need to nag Yen, shin Ee and ann jie anymore! My dad would be my new victim to nag! Haha soo bad of me. Gotta plan a great holiday with family, wanna go shopping to Malacca, then then ...more to come..

Ok gotta continue packing – hope tomorrow will turn a fine day for all of us! And Thank you my dearest TESL 2 classmates and my sweet cwit sisters in IPG for making this 1.5 years a meaningful one filled with lots and lotsa memorable stuffz!!! Renuka loves You ALL!!!!Adios---

some goodbyes are just to-be-continued...

RnZIous

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N3xT M33t...

are you proud of it??

At times it really feels sad to reflect back past relationships. It gives a weird feeling, like you put yourself out there so badly and loved some one soo much then it all reaches THE END. Its like ‘who predicted’.  It sucks even more to know that you have been replaced in a nick of time. Later you start thinking back all the odds assuming that everything including the relationship itself was fake, it hurts like hell!

At certain point in your life you will just fall soo badly like you don’t feel like putting yourself out there anymore. it hurts so much that you don’t want to even look at their faces anymore! but at the same time you just find yourself choked in emotions not being able to forget the person whom you once thought your world. It seriously sucks. Each time when his thoughts cross my mind, I feel like bursting into tears. I couldn’t help it because this is the sole time I really gave all my love to someone, and felt it reciprocated fully but little did I know all could just come crashing on me at the end. I never felt such agony  in a lifetime.  I hate myself for not being able to forget someone who had forgotten me. I really want to be over all this because I don’t think I deserve whatever I'm going through, but yea I'm helpless. 

Things in life are unpredictable, its like one day you are on the top of the world thinking what could go wrong and the next moment you find yourself answering EVERYTHING! He said I suffocated him but he killed me. I find the word LOVE to be soo familiar yet I just can’t recall. He broke me down but not the whole of me, he just destroyed my beliefs on true love and honesty. I don’t wanna hear from you and I pray we will never ever cross each others’ path .

During my first break up, I didn’t have hatred towards love nor I questioned the ability of true relationships, now I do! I don’t believe in true love. Its just an non existing notion people created to continue in the world full of illusions! 

I believe I believe one day I wont even remember your name, I will forget your face, I will walk pass you knowing nothing. I will get over this shit, trust me I will. But for now, I will take the pain. I will accept all stabs. Let me say thank you now because we are going to anonymous to each other soon.

I don’t wanna teach anyone lessons nor I wish to seek sympathy, I am just making it clear that I take time recover and when I really do, I-NEVER-KNEW-YOU! 

  

WHEN I SAY ITS MY LIFE, ITS MINE!

RNziOus

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We-ThiNk-W3-Kn0w...

Human ego often drives us into this i-think-I-know notion. Its more like a confident attitude of a human being of understanding or perceiving other people’s problems and hardships. Yup, hmm for instance  we look at our friend facing a death in her family and we go there standing aside with an i-know-how-it-feels attitude like we just get into their shoes and walked a decade with it enough to talk on how it feels to her. LAME as it sounds. Is it really possible and realistic to feel what others feel?  

Do we really know what we think we do?

Putting it simple, it might be friendship that is bothering A and B but B can’t say he know what is A going through because friendship is the common issue; cause, background, character, ways of dealing  yada yada , there is a bunch of uncommon things under this one issue of friendship! Just because A  and B are dealing with the same issue, they can’t be in each other’s shoes. Its totally different and the perception of knowing remains just a ‘perception’ and nothing beyond. A point to note here, We all look at other people 'from the outside'. The only person we really know 'from the inside' is ourselves and goodness knows, we often find that we don't know ourselves all that well, really! But we generally know ourselves a bit better than we know other people. But this didn't prevent us from acting as though we know all about them! Like what we are talking about right now

wanna try walking anyone??

.

 It is impossible to be in someone else’s shoes and claim we know it all, plus we don’t even know ourselves well! Don’t we?

Offering a shoulder? Ok this is another issue. I don’t believe in people coming into my live like an angel or what-so-ever you call it just to drown me in the river of sympathy when the water itself is plainly tears of mine. I don’t need, in fact we don’t need people to offer us a shoulder to cry or lean or sit or I don’t know. As I mentioned, we are different. The they-think-they-know bunch is  not for real! They don’t know. It is important for each and every individual to understand that we are different and we face the same yet  different problems and issues. The sole reason being we walk in our own shoes!

I'm not being emo, but realistic. You can’t sit there and claim you have the mutual feeling as the other party even though you had faced such problems a million times or know that person for decades long! Its like trying to drown in a pond, show me how?  Ok being optimistic, it might be that this bunch is trying to reach out to them and genuinely want to be there as a helping hand, shoulder to cry or whatever you call it as, yet there is no necessity to feel like ‘you-know’. At times people who claim they know are just momentary puppet moved by their emotions to pour out their experience of travelling on the same boat. It would be like the reunion of the sympathy seekers! At the end of the day, we just share miserable things, we cry even more, we often opt to decisions that are not authentically from our own brain and yeah shit happens thereafter. THE END!

Is this what we really want? The notion of perceiving that we know is often fake or more like an illusion. It is just a feeling inside us of wanting to share. Problems might look the same but as you get deeper its gonna be a total contrast to what you thought ‘you know’. People should understand that others can’t help them emotionally, consoling words are like boost to those who are drowning but hoping them to feel what you feel is impossible! So don’t expect nor claim!

Learn to solve your own problems, cz life is all about the changes and decisions you make. One day when your life flashes before you, make sure all you see is what YOU have done to be who you are at that sole moment! 

Have a Great day!!

RnZioUS

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a JUST thingy

Sometimes I wonder, I wonder whether there is something wrong with me or its just what life offers me. A lot of things went wrong. I tried to reason all those things, not once or twice but so many times. I just couldn’t find why it had to be that way, the BAD way. At times, its like we are brought to situations where we just stand there, helpless. Something like a one way road. I find it hard, very hard in fact. When I look around I see, broken friendships, past relationships, friends turned enemy. I wonder why things got that worse. People I used to know seem to look so distinct, like I don’t even know them anymore.

It is true and it is a fact that people change, at times they change like for the worse and not the good.  Ok perhaps I should agree that the closer you get the uglier people look. Yup at far everyone look like just-perfect people with a just-perfect life! But the moment you put your steps forward, the view gets ugly. Its like an illusion which its code has been broken. All you can see is the real harsh truth. A ‘good’ you know might be equivalent to the ‘worst’ you have seen.  CHANGES..

But whatever it is, the important thing is you gotta be strong. Circumstances can drive us crazy  at times. Understand that there are too many/much of everything in the world. So there is no such thing as, a worry, a happy day, a friend, a job  yada yada. If you just stand there and complain, good things won’t come approaching you, neither do bad things. You gotta work things out, search for what you want, believe in changes and accept it, be prepared for the worst catastrophe, thank god for everything you have. 

When things get real hard, don’t hold your tears, cry out loud and the next moment make sure you walk like you will never fall. At times, life is all about what you believe. Something like the mind over matter thingy. Smile even at hard times, man can’t take too much of stress at once you see! Work your way out the problem. If at all it fails, believe there would be another chance and move on. Or you could remind yourself of the story of the fox and sour grapes, if you know. Don’t expect others to console you, people will be there to offer you or even shower you with sympathy. But that is not what you need! Stand up, be on your own. Learn to get through things by yourself. Life is all about being STRONG and having the courage to endure and let go.

Believe me, life is just a puzzle. One day each and every one of us will solve it but that ‘one day’ won’t come so fast. It takes a long journey which stuffs you with lots and lotsa experiences and maturity. Wait for the one day, till then tell yourself ‘Life-is –a –JUST-thingy!

RNziOus

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Fr0m m3

Alright guys, lets drag a brand new attitude and get that *bling*bling* party on! Heck with the moaning and groaning over what’s not in the world, whose corrupt and blah blah! Let’s just enjoy for a change, with little stuff that we have in our hands! Set aside all the theories about life and its ups and downs, forget the past, no worries about tomorrow and enjoy the now. Lets make small things matter. Search for happiness and follow its path. Regret over stupid things but don’t indulge in it. Smile over thank you-s  and sorry-s. Laugh like you will never stop. Walk like its on a runway. Party like you're a rock star. Live the-closest-to-perfection life. Remember, tomorrow is just another day, not the END! 

Have A Great Diwali !! Cel3braT3 YaW !! <3

RNzIouS

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